Enough, Part One: Whole30

As part of my 30 Before/During 30 List, I had promised myself that I would take on a Whole30 or 28-Day Paleo challenge.

Why?

Well, to be honest, I haven't been feeling great about myself. I'm in okay shape - I did run two half-marathons last year - but I don't eat well. And, as I'm learning (more on this later), food matters, not only for nourishing my body, but also for improving my mood and my energy.

Ultimately, on my 2018 journey toward defining myself as "enough," I want to reset my approach to food. Part of this, I'll be honest, is for the potential effects it has on my body - who doesn't want to shed a few pounds? (HINT: I DO, IDEALLY IN THE EASIEST WAY POSSIBLE.) But as I started doing research into the possible benefits of taking on a Whole30, I saw that improved mood, increased energy, better sleep, and a decreased dependency on sugar/carbs/empty foods are often outcomes of such a commitment.

And so, the second week of January, I dove in.

For those who aren't familiar, Whole30 is a month-long detox/reset which cuts out often-inflammatory and over-processed foods, and requires its adherents to stick as much as possible to whole, unprocessed ingredients. It cuts out grains, dairy, alcohol, legumes, and added sugar, with the goal of resetting your body and your gut to rely on the simplest and most whole nutrients. At the end of the 30 days, of course, you can slowly add back in the "no-no" ingredients. But taking on a Whole30 is a commitment to replacing easy and over-processed food with whole and nutritious food that's ultimately better for you.

Even more, Whole30 asks you to change your mindset. The creator, Melissa Hartwig, encourages adherents to cut out comfort/copycat foods, even if they are compliant, because if you indulge in "healthy" binge foods, you're still letting your body give in to the cravings. You're allowed to eat fruit on Whole30 (one of the few naturally sugar-filled foods you're allowed to consume), but you're encouraged to do so mindfully - are you eating it to balance a meal, or to fulfill a sugar craving?

So, as 2018 dawned, I saw my chance to commit to this diet. Thanks to my friend Cassy Garcia's Fed + Fit cookbook, Pinterest, and tons of friends who have been down this road before (Emili, Kristin, Concetta, SaDonna, and tons of others I can't think of right now), I got rolling with my Whole30.

As part of the process, I:

• threw out almost all of my non-compliant foods so I wouldn't be tempted during the 30 days (thanks to my work wife Morgan for taking that Kraft mac-n-cheese off my hands)
• took measurements (even though the benefits of Whole30 are psychological as well as physical, I certainly wanted to know if the program would have any effect on my body)
• took "before" photos (ditto above - I wanted to see if my bloating decreased at the end of the 30 days)
• tried out different workout classes at the gym on campus (I pay for a membership; I need to be using it!)
• started a habit of sitting down every weekend, planning meals (and leftovers) for the rest of the week in a handy Google spreadsheet, and going shopping 

Now, at the end of February, I'm all finished with the reset, and... well, whoa is all I can say.

I knew that my dependence on food (to make me feel better, to keep me from being bored, etc) had gotten bad. I knew I ate OKAY, but that I had no problem with indulging in sugary or empty calorie foods. I knew that I had gained some weight, and I knew that my mood had been VERY up and down.

But until I made a point of breaking myself of these food habits, I had no idea how much the food I was eating was affecting me, mentally and physically. Until I went cold-turkey, I had no idea how much I was depending on high sugar and sodium contents to briefly boost me (before I came crashing down again). I was numb to how I felt after eating, and I had no real sense of portion control, eating until I got TOO full (instead of to repletion).

Whole30 did all that for me. I'll be honest, I doubted its effects... until now, when I'm:

• consistently happier, or at least not wildly swinging from mood to mood
• sleeping like a CHAMP
• craving less sugar
• not snacking at all
• down 8 1/4" (yes, that's right - I lost more than 8" total in ~30 days. WITHOUT EXERCISE.)

Shockingly, I'm actually loving the habit of cooking for myself and meal planning for the week. It lessens my stress and ensures that I'm taking care of myself in a consistent way; it also means I'm eating out at restaurants FAR less.

As I've reintroduced foods, I'm discovering what doesn't seem to affect me at all (rice; butter; gluten in small doses), what slows me down or makes me feel sluggish (half and half in my coffee; too much sugar, like in a dessert), and what I really can't handle (it broke my heart, but I had a slice of pizza 2 days ago and within 10 minutes my stomach was hurting - I think the combination of it all was just TOO much). 

It must be said, Whole30 is NOT a perfect system. It's definitely for more privileged folks, and it is NOT for everyone:

1) It's EXPENSIVE to only eat fresh, whole, "compliant" ingredients (avocado-based mayonnaise is $10 per jar at Whole Foods, compared to $3 for the basic stuff. gross, right?)

2) It takes SO MUCH TIME AND EFFORT - to find recipes, to plan grocery trips, to read ingredient labels, and to prepare and cook food

3) The reintroduction process is HARD - they tell you to only try to reintroduce 1 ingredient at a time, but that's not easy to do! (For example, when I ate pizza, I have no idea what made it unpleasant - the gluten, the dairy, the processed ingredients, the high fat content, or all of the above?)

All that being said, I am amazed at the results of this experiment. So much so, that I plan to keep eating as clean as I can - cutting out added sugar, an excess of dairy and gluten, and processed ingredients as much as possible.

That's the real, truly amazing part of all of this - I had no idea that I was capable of this kind of self-control, or this kind of commitment. But I had it within me all along. 

Boil, boil, my pasta pot

Being a quarter Sicilian (where my paisans at?), food is an integral part of my life. I'm not just talking for basic survival purposes, which is, of course, accurate, but I really mean that food - good food - comes in near the top of my Maslow's hierarchy of needs, right up there with love, belonging, esteem, and self-actualization.

Image via Wikipedia - pasta fits right in the middle of that purple "self-actualization" section

Not only do I describe food as an interest in my life; I'd call it (and eating) more of a hobby. I'll let my ever-evolving waistline speak for itself when it comes to health, but again, food for me is much more than sustaining my body; it's a way to feel, to think, to live, and to connect with people.

I say all this because I had an epiphany last Thursday morning. I was up at 6:30 a.m., making my mom's spaghetti sauce. For those of you who have never had Harriet's spaghetti sauce, let me tell you, it is a TREAT. First of all, the recipe makes a TON, so it's good to share and to have beaucoup leftovers. The real beauty, though, what makes it so delicious, is that all of the ingredients simmer all day long in the crock pot, marrying their flavors for a delicious conclusion at dinnertime.

But that delicious saucy conclusion takes a lot of work, and a lot of dedication. First, there's the early wake-up call (and yeah, I could have made it later in the day, but then it wouldn't have been able to simmer as long! Remember, simmering is key). Then, there's all the prep work that goes into the sauce - browning the meat, chopping the onions and garlic, prepping all the spices, mixing it all together... it's quite a commitment to make this sauce.

There's the rub, though - the delicious outcome is a result of the commitment. Only through the sacrifice of getting up early, of investing precious time in the preparation of the meal, can the meal truly be enjoyed at the end of the day. Making my mom's spaghetti sauce is a labor of love, and the proof is in the pasta sauce.

My epiphany came from consideration of that labor of love. How much more would other pieces of my life benefit if I committed myself to them in the same way I commit to my mom's pasta sauce? Isn't every good thing, every thing that benefits others, worthy of some hard work and sacrifice? Sure, if I give of my utmost self and abilities each day, it's going to make me tired, it's going to feel like I'm "emptying my bucket" with no immediate prospect of filling it again. But eventually, all of the hard work will come to fruition.

Someday, I'll see the finished product of my labors, much like I get to come home to a delicious pot of pasta sauce after a long day's prep work and simmering. But in the same way that I have to trust that my early morning work on my cooking will result in my favorite conclusion - a delicious meal - I must trust in my daily life that my hard work will someday be of benefit to others (even if I don't see it now).

Where can this mantra of "trusting the process" (as cliche as that might seem) benefit you in your life? Where might you dedicate yourself better to your work, believing that in the end you'll benefit from that commitment? What can be your labor of love, your "pasta sauce," today?

These are the questions I ask myself this morning, as I contemplate my mother's pasta sauce (which is also making my stomach rumble). Pasta makes me think of home, of family, of togetherness, of blessings. I want to try to find the same joy in my work process today as I do in cooking, even if the outcome is not as delicious. I want my life to be a labor of love, committed to making the world a better place, one "pot of pasta" at a time.

This post is brought to you in part by Strega Nona