My #OneWord2019: Focus

I can't believe 2018 is over.

I always say that at the end of one year and beginning of another, but truly, I feel as though I blinked and New Year's Day had arrived.

My 2018 was FULL. Full of life, learning, love... it was a year that I promised myself would be about finding "enough." I wanted to focus on myself, not in a selfish way, but in a self-care way. I wanted to explore what was physically enough for me and test my relationship with food. I wanted to continue to seek work/life balance and harmony, and actually take vacation days. I promised myself I would continue going to see my counselor, I would travel to see friends, and above all else, that I would be kinder to myself - to speak lovingly and to accept grace from and for myself.

I accomplished most of these goals. My 2018 was full of experiences, small and large. I lost (and gained) weight. I spoke to myself more kindly and encouragingly. I traveled to new places and tried new things. I met an incredible man (and his dog) who have turned my life upside-down in the best way. I accepted a job back home in Texas (and can no longer call myself an ex-pat; I'm HOME). I gained a fantastic sister-in-law (I can take no credit for her, but I adore her, so she gets to go in this list). Yes, 2018 was one for the books.

At my end-of-year reckoning, I celebrated all of these wins, and I also considered the things I still have yet to accomplish. Like a typical Enneagram Type 2 (something I've been learning about recently), I found my other-centric goals easy to accomplish, but I found the goals around self-care and self-love hardest of all. So as I looked at 2019, I knew that focusing on myself still needed to be on the agenda.

As many know, I have been picking a word of the year since 2012.

[2012 - Believe; 2013 - Center; 2014 - Simplicity; 2015 - Gratitude; 2016 - Well; 2017 - Commitment; 2018 - Enough]

This year, my OneWord is focus.

My commitment to myself, my resolutions and goals for this year, revolve around the idea of concentrating, of directing my attention, of emphasizing, of finding clear perception, around and on the most important things in life. 

As I was researching potential words, I looked into their etymology (of course I did). And I discovered that focus is from the Latin for "hearth." A hearth is a focal point, a center, of a home. When it is warm and clean and tended to, it's fulfilling its purpose. It is bright and shining; it is providing warmth and comfort for others. When it is dirty and ashy and cold, no one is gathering around it; it is not sustaining anyone.

It's on me to keep my home fire burning, to keep my hearth clean and inviting, for myself and for others. I have to nourish my own spirit; I have to fill my own bucket; I have to tend to my own flame.

My goals for this year include:

• Finding a home church and regularly attending (and really, plugging back into my relationship with God)
• Picking running back up, and running at least one half-marathon
• Eating well enough: an "80/20" lifestyle, where most of my food is healthy but I'm allowed the things I love
• Ending the year with one month's salary in my "do not touch" savings account
• Find and regularly visit a counselor in my new city
• Keeping on growing in love & kindness with my awesome boyfriend

Here's to you, 2019! Let's make this year a good one.

30 During 30: The Officially Thirty Update

It's happened - I am officially 30 years old. (Thirty, flirty, and thriving to be precise.) I had the best birthday - my Mom took me on a surprise trip to Aspen, CO, where we:

• Ate delicious food
• Shopped 'til we dropped
• Hiked multiple local sites (including the Ute Trail and Maroon Bells)
• Went Whitewater Rafting (SO FUN Y'ALL)
• SUMMITED A 14ER!

Now that I'm actually 30, and now that I've accomplished some more on my #30Before30 #30During30 List, I figured I'd provide a quick update so y'all can see how I'm doing! 

Realistically speaking, I don't think I'll get to everything on this list, and honestly, some of my priorities have changed in the 2 years since I wrote this list. But it's such a nice tracker of all the wonderful blessings I have in my life - family, friends, travel, and amazing experiences.

Original List Here
First Update Here

Cassidy's 30 During 30 List: The Officially Thirty Update

ACCOMPLISHED: 15/30
1. Travel to London - Completed Summer '17. To date, the BEST FREAKING TRIP OF MY LIFE.
3. Visit a state I’ve never been to before - Completed June '18. I traveled to Boise, ID this summer to marry one of my best friends, my grad school roommate Ashlie, and her lovely husband Chris. SUCH a fun trip, and I may or may not have fallen in love with Boise!
4. Take an off-the-grid (NO EMAIL) vacation - Completed Summer '17 (my Europe trip).
6. Hike a 14er - Completed July '18! This one wasn't planned, but was a wonderful happenstance - while on my 30th birthday trip to Aspen, my Mom met a random fellow traveler at our hotel who had summited several 14ers, and who let her know that one of the easiest ones, Mount Bierstadt, was on the way back to Denver from Aspen. So Mom and I dedicated a day (it took us 7 hours to hike the 7-mile round trip) to summiting this 14,065' peak. It's one of the hardest things I've ever done - I got heat exhaustion on the way down - but dang if it wasn't one of the COOLEST THINGS I'VE EVER DONE TOO!
8. Backpack on the Appalachian Trail - Completed Summer '17 (day-hiked 2 sections near Bland, VA with my mom!)
9. Plan an amazing 30th Birthday Celebration/Trip - Completed July '18. I ended up having less control over this one - as mentioned before, my Mom took me on a surprise trip to Aspen, CO! I knew we were going on a trip, but not the destination. Mom dropped a couple of (very obscure) hints in the month prior, but I didn't find out until the morning of that we were off to Aspen (where the beer flows like wine and where the beautiful women instinctively flock like the salmon of Capistrano). We had such a good time!
10. Pay off half of total principal student loan balance - This is basically done (as of August '18), so I'm calling it a win. As of next month, I will be halfway done paying off my principal loan balance! AND, to make it even sweeter, I am currently DONE with payments to one of the three companies which hold my loans. The weight is slowly lifting!
12. Run a half-marathon - Completed x2! March '17 (Skidaway Island Half) & November '17 (Outer Banks Southern Fried Half)
16. Schedule regular doctor/dentist check-ups - Completed December '17 - Doctor. Dentist. Optometrist. AND counselor. I adulted so hard, y'all.
17. Complete a Whole 30/28-day Paleo (or similar) Challenge - Completed with great success as of February '18. I'll be starting another one in mid-August, to get back on track for the school year (and to look cute before my brother's wedding!).
18. Learn how to water-ski - Completed July '18. Okay, this one is cheating, but it's my list, so I don't care. I am changing this one, because I don't realistically think I will have a chance to learn how to water-ski in the next year. But you know what I have done TWICE this year? Go whitewater rafting - once at the U.S. National Whitewater Center here in Charlotte, and once on my birthday in Colorado. So even though it's not exactly the same thing (ok fine, it's nowhere close to the same thing), I'm still gonna mark this one as completed. (My list, my rules.)
19. Try 30 new recipes - Completed during Whole 30 as of February '18.
20. Learn calligraphy - Completed August '17; I took a hand-lettering class locally. SO MUCH FUN.
28. Volunteer with Girls on the Run - Completed as of May '18. I finally got to sign up to be a 5K volunteer, and LOVED getting to cheer on all the girls as they completed their race. It was so thrilling to watch a giant group of girls feel empowered and have fun while being healthy. I'll definitely keep volunteering at the biannual races here in Charlotte!
29. Solidify & stay constant with volunteering role(s) with Gamma Phi Beta - Currently completed - I've finally taken my role down to just one: President of our Charlotte Alumnae Chapter. Although I still want to accomplish so much more in the role, we've had a few social events this year, and I have a wonderful group of local sisters who are engaged and excited to network with each other. It feels good to have nailed this one down.


IN PROGRESS/CONFIRMED TO HAPPEN: 1/30
25. See Beyonce in concert (if she tours) - As you may or may not know, The Carters are currently on their On the Run II Tour, and EMILY JOYNTON AND I ARE SEEING THE QUEEN ON JULY 30 IN PHILADELPHIA! Words CANNOT express how psyched I am for this show (and visiting dear Emily, of course - love you, girl).


TOTAL: 16/30 Over halfway there, y'all!

Enough, Part One: Whole30

As part of my 30 Before/During 30 List, I had promised myself that I would take on a Whole30 or 28-Day Paleo challenge.

Why?

Well, to be honest, I haven't been feeling great about myself. I'm in okay shape - I did run two half-marathons last year - but I don't eat well. And, as I'm learning (more on this later), food matters, not only for nourishing my body, but also for improving my mood and my energy.

Ultimately, on my 2018 journey toward defining myself as "enough," I want to reset my approach to food. Part of this, I'll be honest, is for the potential effects it has on my body - who doesn't want to shed a few pounds? (HINT: I DO, IDEALLY IN THE EASIEST WAY POSSIBLE.) But as I started doing research into the possible benefits of taking on a Whole30, I saw that improved mood, increased energy, better sleep, and a decreased dependency on sugar/carbs/empty foods are often outcomes of such a commitment.

And so, the second week of January, I dove in.

For those who aren't familiar, Whole30 is a month-long detox/reset which cuts out often-inflammatory and over-processed foods, and requires its adherents to stick as much as possible to whole, unprocessed ingredients. It cuts out grains, dairy, alcohol, legumes, and added sugar, with the goal of resetting your body and your gut to rely on the simplest and most whole nutrients. At the end of the 30 days, of course, you can slowly add back in the "no-no" ingredients. But taking on a Whole30 is a commitment to replacing easy and over-processed food with whole and nutritious food that's ultimately better for you.

Even more, Whole30 asks you to change your mindset. The creator, Melissa Hartwig, encourages adherents to cut out comfort/copycat foods, even if they are compliant, because if you indulge in "healthy" binge foods, you're still letting your body give in to the cravings. You're allowed to eat fruit on Whole30 (one of the few naturally sugar-filled foods you're allowed to consume), but you're encouraged to do so mindfully - are you eating it to balance a meal, or to fulfill a sugar craving?

So, as 2018 dawned, I saw my chance to commit to this diet. Thanks to my friend Cassy Garcia's Fed + Fit cookbook, Pinterest, and tons of friends who have been down this road before (Emili, Kristin, Concetta, SaDonna, and tons of others I can't think of right now), I got rolling with my Whole30.

As part of the process, I:

• threw out almost all of my non-compliant foods so I wouldn't be tempted during the 30 days (thanks to my work wife Morgan for taking that Kraft mac-n-cheese off my hands)
• took measurements (even though the benefits of Whole30 are psychological as well as physical, I certainly wanted to know if the program would have any effect on my body)
• took "before" photos (ditto above - I wanted to see if my bloating decreased at the end of the 30 days)
• tried out different workout classes at the gym on campus (I pay for a membership; I need to be using it!)
• started a habit of sitting down every weekend, planning meals (and leftovers) for the rest of the week in a handy Google spreadsheet, and going shopping 

Now, at the end of February, I'm all finished with the reset, and... well, whoa is all I can say.

I knew that my dependence on food (to make me feel better, to keep me from being bored, etc) had gotten bad. I knew I ate OKAY, but that I had no problem with indulging in sugary or empty calorie foods. I knew that I had gained some weight, and I knew that my mood had been VERY up and down.

But until I made a point of breaking myself of these food habits, I had no idea how much the food I was eating was affecting me, mentally and physically. Until I went cold-turkey, I had no idea how much I was depending on high sugar and sodium contents to briefly boost me (before I came crashing down again). I was numb to how I felt after eating, and I had no real sense of portion control, eating until I got TOO full (instead of to repletion).

Whole30 did all that for me. I'll be honest, I doubted its effects... until now, when I'm:

• consistently happier, or at least not wildly swinging from mood to mood
• sleeping like a CHAMP
• craving less sugar
• not snacking at all
• down 8 1/4" (yes, that's right - I lost more than 8" total in ~30 days. WITHOUT EXERCISE.)

Shockingly, I'm actually loving the habit of cooking for myself and meal planning for the week. It lessens my stress and ensures that I'm taking care of myself in a consistent way; it also means I'm eating out at restaurants FAR less.

As I've reintroduced foods, I'm discovering what doesn't seem to affect me at all (rice; butter; gluten in small doses), what slows me down or makes me feel sluggish (half and half in my coffee; too much sugar, like in a dessert), and what I really can't handle (it broke my heart, but I had a slice of pizza 2 days ago and within 10 minutes my stomach was hurting - I think the combination of it all was just TOO much). 

It must be said, Whole30 is NOT a perfect system. It's definitely for more privileged folks, and it is NOT for everyone:

1) It's EXPENSIVE to only eat fresh, whole, "compliant" ingredients (avocado-based mayonnaise is $10 per jar at Whole Foods, compared to $3 for the basic stuff. gross, right?)

2) It takes SO MUCH TIME AND EFFORT - to find recipes, to plan grocery trips, to read ingredient labels, and to prepare and cook food

3) The reintroduction process is HARD - they tell you to only try to reintroduce 1 ingredient at a time, but that's not easy to do! (For example, when I ate pizza, I have no idea what made it unpleasant - the gluten, the dairy, the processed ingredients, the high fat content, or all of the above?)

All that being said, I am amazed at the results of this experiment. So much so, that I plan to keep eating as clean as I can - cutting out added sugar, an excess of dairy and gluten, and processed ingredients as much as possible.

That's the real, truly amazing part of all of this - I had no idea that I was capable of this kind of self-control, or this kind of commitment. But I had it within me all along. 

My #OneWord2018: Enough

The beginning of 2017 (hell, a lot of it, to be honest) was especially difficult for me. For that, and for many other reasons, I never got a chance to write a blog post about my OneWord Resolution for 2017: it was, "commitment."

I have a tradition of choosing OneWord Resolutions: see 2012 (Believe), 2013 (Center), 2014 (Simplicity), 2015 (Gratitude), and 2016 (Well). My hope with my 2017 word was to make a commitment to myself, to the important people in my life, and to the important things in life. Even with the trials 2017 brought, I ended the year feeling as though I had done almost all of that... except the commitment to self part.

Sure, I continued practicing gratitude; sure, I made time for some amazing adventures; sure, I even ran two half-marathons. But mentally? Emotionally? It was a struggle. Honestly, the best commitment I made to myself in 2017 was getting a counselor here in Charlotte. (PAUSING HERE: I cannot more highly recommend that everyone have someone to talk to, be it a counselor or a therapist or pastor or WHATEVER YOU NEED to get your stuff off your chest. And be honest - you have stuff. We all do. And your spouse/partner/best friend/parent, although certainly capable of unconditional love for you, IS NOT your therapist.)

So when I thought about what I needed in 2018, what I felt was lacking in my life AND what I thought I needed to shed... I kept coming back to the idea of sufficiency, of enough-ness.

All my live, I've striven for success; I am ambitious by nature (and proud to be so). I have accomplished many things that I can be proud of. And yet, I am my harshest critic. I speak to myself like I would speak to NO ONE ELSE in my life; I am the WORST at giving myself grace.

And yet, I've realized - if I'm not kind to myself, who else will be? I must first and foremost accept and love myself for who and what I am. If I want to be a role model for others who I love so much, I MUST practice loving myself first.

In the words of my (pretend-but-wish-she-was-actually-my) best friend, Amy Poehler,

"When the demon starts to slither my way and say bad sh*t about me I turn around and say, 'Hey. Cool it. Amy is my friend. Don't talk about her like that.' Sticking up for ourselves in the same way we would one of our friends is a hard but satisfying thing to do. Sometimes it works."

I wanted to be honest and real - this is the real reasoning behind my #OneWord2018: enough. This year, I want to teach myself how to know that I am already enough.

enough - adj.

• occurring in such quantity, quality, or scope as to fully meet demands, needs, or expectations
• as much or as many as required

What does enough look like for me?

• Practicing my faith to remember that God is enough; His grace is enough; His provisions are just the right amount for each day
• "But when [the Israelites] measured [the manna] out, everyone had just enough. Those who gathered a lot had nothing left over, and those who gathered only a little had enough. Each family had just what it needed." - Exodus 16:18
• "Each time [Christ] said, 'My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.'" - 2 Corinthians 12:9
• Being kinder to myself - speaking lovingly, accepting grace, and learning from my mistakes
• Resetting my approach to food and eating - coming at nourishing my body from a healthy, self-loving standpoint 
• Actually USING my vacation and sick time
• Finding an exercise routine that works for my schedule AND my brain
• Continuing counseling to talk out my stuff
• Resetting my approach to spending money and budgeting, to come from a place of plenty as opposed to a place of lack
• Spending time with family, friends, and loved ones

Even if your new year's resolutions differ, I invite you to join me in this journey toward enough.

30 Before 30: Update Number Two (and BACK from hiatus!)

Happy 2018, y'all, and happy 30th birthday year!

2017 kind of sucked, a lot, and for a lot of people, in small and VERY BIG ways. I was not without my share of sucky parts of 2017. But it was also a BIG learning year for me - the limits of my faith and my resilience were tested and stretched, and here I am, still standing as a new year has dawned.

I'm thankful for the pain of the past year, as much as it hurt, because I can feel that my spirit and my strength have just expanded and grown to include the pain as well as the joy. And whoa, what a rich depth of feeling that is. My heart feels more and more deeply as I grow older, and that's a gift I couldn't have anticipated.

With that being said, it's time for a 30 Before 30 update - we are t-minus 6 months(ish) 'til the big birthday!

First and foremost, I've had to face reality that there is NO WAY (for budgetary reasons) that I will accomplish everything on my original list before July. But with that being said, a friend suggested a brilliant transmutation of this list - it can continue to become a 30 During 30 list! So that's my plan - whatever I haven't accomplished before July, I will attempt to accomplish during my 30th year.

Without further ado, here are some updates on my list - what I've accomplished, what I'm in the midst of, and what I'll be accomplishing this year...

Cassidy's Thirty Before/During 30 (Thirty, Flirty, and Thriving) List, Update Number Two

(See update number one here)

ACCOMPLISHED: 6/30
1. Travel to London  - Completed Summer '17. To date, the BEST FREAKING TRIP OF MY LIFE.

4. Take an off-the-grid (NO EMAIL) vacation - Completed Summer '17 (my Europe trip). 

8. Backpack on the Appalachian Trail - Completed Summer '17 (day-hiked 2 sections near Bland, VA with my mom!)

12. Run a half-marathon  - Completed x2! March '17 (Skidaway Island Half) & November '17 (Outer Banks Southern Fried Half)

16. Schedule regular doctor/dentist check-ups - Completed December '17 - Doctor. Dentist. Optometrist. AND counselor. I adulted so hard, y'all.

20. Learn calligraphy - Completed August '17; I took a hand-lettering class locally. SO MUCH FUN.

IN PROGRESS/CONFIRMED TO HAPPEN: 4/30

3. Visit a state I’ve never been to before - my dear grad school roommate Ashlie is getting married this summer in Boise. Idaho, here I come!

10. Pay off half of total principal student loan balance - Not quite by July, but by August, I will be halfway done with paying off my principal balance, AND I'll make my last payment to one of the three companies which hold my loans. The weight is slowly lifting!

17. Complete a Whole 30/28-day Paleo (or similar) Challenge - I'm on Day 8 of my first Whole30 as I type this, and although I haven't seen any physical changes yet, I am enjoying cooking for myself, and it's been nice to eat food that actually fills me up.  Honestly, my favorite part of this one is being part of the community - there are so many people to commiserate with!

19. Try 30 new recipes - In progress, thanks to Whole30. If you're looking for some easy, yummy, and healthy recipes, definitely check out my friend Cassy's wonderful Fed + Fit blog - I've been doing my Whole30 mostly based on her recipes and I've LOVED them so far.

TOTAL: 10/30

I'm a third of the way through my list, y'all! 2018 has already been infinitely better than 2017, and with such excitement ahead of me, I can't wait to tackle the rest of this year as I embrace Thirty, Flirty, and Thriving. 

30 Before 30: Update Number One

Last year, right after my 28th birthday, I published a 30 Before 30 List, in preparation of celebrating my 30th birthday in 2018. We're 19 days shy of my 29th birthday, and I've already crossed a few items off my list (or will soon), so I wanted to share a status update!

Cassidy's Thirty Before 30 (Thirty, Flirty, and Thriving) List:

TRAVEL
1. Travel to London - In 17 days, I'll be getting on a plane for Europe! After a year of saving money, I'm taking a 9-day trip to Dublin AND London... all by myself. (Well, mostly by myself - in Dublin I'll be traveling alone; in London I'm staying with my cousin and her family, which will be a FABULOUS and long-needed visit.) I'll spend 3 nights in Dublin, and 5 in London, and I cannot WAIT for this trip. Look for a more detailed recap of my trip when I return... it'll be chock-full of awesomeness and history and sightseeing and FOOD, glorious food.

4. Take an off-the-grid (NO EMAIL) vacation - Knowing how expensive data is in Europe, and how much I don't want to rely on wifi, I'm planning to take my no-email vacation simultaneously with my Europe trip. I'm out for a long time - 9 days - but I truly want to enjoy this time abroad, and I trust my co-workers and students implicitly to handle things while I'm gone :)

EXPERIENCES
8. Backpack on the Appalachian Trail - Although it won't be backpacking in the strictest sense - I am NOT a camping person (bugs.) - next weekend, my mom and I are taking a girls' trip to Bland, Virginia to spend the WHOLE weekend hiking the AT! We'll do day hikes throughout the weekend, seeing as much of the trail as we can. I can't wait for bonding time AND outdoors time.

WELLNESS
12. Run a half-marathon - Done. And. Done. As of March 25, I completed my first half marathon. It was both fun and grueling, and just addicting enough for me to have signed up for a second half in November. That's right - I'll be doing a SECOND half before my 30th birthday, that I'll begin training for in just a couple weeks. Apparently I'm crazy. It's fine.

16. Schedule regular doctor/dentist check-ups - Doctor's appointment - check. Dentist... still needs to happen. (I KNOW. I KNOW.) I'm also planning on adding counseling to this list - I need to take care of my mental and emotional wellness just as much as my physical, and this summer would be a good time to do some check-ins with a counselor. Look for further updates on this one later!



I still have quite a few items to accomplish on this list, but thankfully, I have more than a year to check some things off. Look for further updates later on this fall. :)

Why Things are On Your Mind

It's been a bit since I've posted, hasn't it? 2017 has been a roller coaster of a year so far, with lots of personal ups and downs. But as we move toward mid-year, I've been feeling stronger and better, with lots to look forward to. I hope to write more on the blog this summer - with a 30 Before 30 update, as well as some travel recaps and some reflection and plans for the future.

Currently, it's summer, which means that the nature of my work on a college campus shifts and changes. I'm much more project-focused in the summer; the day-to-day event and advising grind is minimal, and we can take a step back to focus on some big-picture thinking.

One of my projects for the summer is to read Getting Things Done, a productivity-focused book that came to me highly recommended by some friends and colleagues. Although I'm an active Bullet Journal user and lover of all things organization, I'm also a recovering procrastinator (Hi, my name is Cassidy, and I'm a Procrastinator), and I'm always on the lookout for systems, tips, and tricks to help me focus and get things done. Thus, reading this book!

I'm reading a little bit at a time, and in the introduction to the GTD system, the author, David Allen, talks about the importance of getting things OFF your mind in order to clear it, so you can then focus on getting things done.

His theory about WHY things are on your mind really resonated with me. I've quoted it here:

Most often, the reason something is on your mind is that you want it to be different than it currently is, and yet:

• you haven't clarified exactly what the intended outcome is; 

•  you haven't decided what the very next physical action step is; and/or

• you haven't put reminders of the outcome and the action required in a system you trust. 

 First, let's talk about that deep why: "the reason something is on your mind is that you want it to be different than it currently is."

Whoa.

From feeling guilty about not writing in this blog more, to wanting to work out and get in shape, to stressing over my to-do list at work, I constantly live in a world where I want things to be different than they are (and by different, I usually mean better). My intentions are so pure; I want to make a difference; I want to be a person of integrity; I want to be joyful; and yet...

• I haven't clarified exactly what the intended outcome is

Feeling guilt about neglecting this blog is NOT doing anything to move me toward my intended outcome - publishing regularly on this blog. And yet, by naming that outcome, I relieve some stress - I have identified the specific thing that I would like to be different. That idea can feel big sometimes, though, which leads to...

• I haven't decided what the next physical action step is

If all I do is bug myself about "writing more," but haven't given myself the specific task of "write a blog post NOW," or "tomorrow" - if I haven't given myself a small, manageable, action-step-chunk to work on - then my intended outcome won't be reached, and the Thing will still be On My Mind. Then, of course, there's...

• I haven't put reminders of the outcome and the action required to meet it in a system I trust

The jury's still out on this one - I look forward to continuing to read this book and see what system that Allen recommends to Get Things Done.

But actually writing this blog post and this post's content were both inspired by an exercise that Allen runs through, and I'll leave you with this method, and encourage you to think on what's On Your Mind:

I suggest that you write down the project or situation that is most on your mind at this moment. What most bugs you, distracts you, or interests you, or in some other way consumes a large part of your conscious attention? It may be a project or problem that is really "in your face,' something you are being pressed to handle, or a situation you feel you must deal with sooner rather than later.

...Got it? Good. Now, describe, in a single written sentence, your intended successful outcome for this problem or situation. In other words, what would need to happen for you to check this project off as "done"?

...Now write down the very next physical action required to move the situation forward. If you had nothing else to do in your life but get closure on this, what visible action would you take right now? Would you call or text someone? Write an email?

...Got an answer to that? Good.

Was there any value for you in those two minutes of thinking? If you're like the vast majority of people who complete that drill in our seminars, you'll be experiencing at least a tiny bit of enhanced control, relaxation, and focus. You'll also be feeling more motivated to actually do something about that situation you've merely been thinking about till now. 

So, what's been on your mind? Why?