I Heard it Through the Grapevine: My First Professional Conference

Greetings, all! I realize that this post is a bit delayed (the conference in question having ended two weeks ago), but I have been on a MARATHON catch up mission over the past two weeks, and so (unfortunately) have not had time to blog. (More on the catching-up thing later.)ANYWAY, I would still like to say what I have to say about my first professional conference… so away we go!

Two weeks ago today, I had just completed my first stint at a national profession-specific conference. Within higher education and student affairs, we have two main all-encompassing professional organizations, ACPA and NASPA. I’m a member of NASPA, which stands for the National Association of Student Personnel Administrators, and we just had our big annual conference in the grand city of Philadelphia, PA.

Let me tell you, it was a GREAT experience. As the title suggests, attending NASPA was my first professional conference experience, and I went in with a LOT of expectations and rumors as to what it would be like… many of which differed from what the conference was ACTUALLY like. So this post is going to be dedicated to breaking down my time at NASPA, and what it’s like to be a professional at a professional conference. (Who’s grown up now? ME! Kind of.)

EXPECTATIONS… and ANTICIPATION

Through the grad student grapevine in my program, I had heard many different stories concerning professional conferences—how they run, how to balance your time when attending, how to meet people, etc. My program hosted a small-scale ethics conference in February, and from that experience I had a few expectations as well. Going into NASPA, here’s what I expected:

-I was going to be tired by the end. Really tired.

-It was going to be REALLY easy to meet people; so easy that it would be strange if I left the conference without several new acquaintances.

-I needed to be on my A-game. Professionals would be everywhere… professionals who could eventually give me a job in a year. And they would be watching. So I needed to be dressed for success, on my best behavior, and generally prepped for some major networking opportunities.

-I wasn’t really sure how the session aspect of NASPA would go (you know, the presentations. The actual professional development part of the whole conference thing). I didn’t get a chance to attend a presentation during the conference my program hosted, so I wasn’t sure how many I wanted to attend per day, whether or not I would need to take notes, etc.

Most of all, I wasn’t sure what to expect for a conference in Philadelphia. I had never been to Philly before, and my friends with whom I attended the conference and I had set aside a day and a half to explore the city. I also knew that our hotel was directly across the street from the Convention Center. But how would the flow of the city interact with the conference? Where would we eat lunch and dinner? Would the Philadelphians be okay with 5,000 student affairs professionals invading their space? How would we navigate the city? Would we brave public transportation? And—perhaps most importantly—where could I find a good Philly cheesesteak?!?

THE REALITY, or HOW I LEARNED TO STOP WORRYING AND LOVE NASPA

The actual NASPA experience, as I’ve told you, was GREAT. Not only was I able to meet some amazing fellow student affairs professionals, I also got a great big healthy dose of professional development, which has recently been lacking in my life.

To answer your most burning question, YES, PHILADELPHIA WAS AWESOME. It’s an amazing city, full of history and interesting people and places and funky facts and some of the best food I’ve eaten in a while. As I said, we took a few days to explore the city before NASPA started so that we could concentrate on the conference when it actually began, and I fell in love with the City of Brotherly Love. Here were my very favorite things about Philly:

1. Reading Terminal Market—located right next to the Philadelphia Convention Center, this railroad terminal-turned-market has THE BEST FOOD EVER, all in one convenient location. I could have eaten at Reading for every meal and had different food every time I went. It was inexpensive, too! I can’t sing Reading’s praises enough… especially the fresh-made cinnamon rolls. TO. DIE. FOR.

2. HISTORY! Listen, this could be a post in itself, so I’ll just remind you of the most important thing: Philadelphia is the cradle of American society. The Declaration of Independence and Constitution were both created and signed there. It was the home of many Founding Fathers AND Mothers, including Betsy Ross, one of my favorite historic figures. If you go, you must see: The Liberty Bell. Independence Hall. Basically ALL of Old City. The MASONIC TEMPLE (Freemasons are awesome). City Hall (and get a local to tell you about the Curse of William Penn!). Philly is a city chock-full of history, and I consider the things I experienced there an essential part of my conference experience.

3. The tourist stuff: Now, I know that most city locals HATE tourists, but I make it a point to do the things that touring companies recommend. After all, the sites wouldn’t be famous if there wasn’t something interesting about them, right? So, of course, for Philadelphia the tourist destinations include a lot of the historic things I mentioned above. But it also includes things like:The Love Statue in JFK Plaza. The Avenue of the Americas. The Philadelphia Musem of Art, including THE ROCKY STATUE (the museum is where Rocky runs up the steps. Did I run the steps? You bet your boots). CHEESESTEAK*. Chinatown. And more.

*I did the Geno’s vs. Pat’s challenge. I preferred Geno’s, but the final decision was split. But here’s the kicker—apparently most Philly natives prefer a more hole-in-the-wall cheesesteak place, not these two famous joints. Definitely go to Pat’s and Geno’s for the experience—and make sure you order correctly—but then make sure to take time to listen to the locals’ advice on where to get the best cheesesteak.

All of this leads up to one of the major lessons I learned: Experience the city where the conference is held. For me, being in our host city was half the fun of the conference. Next year, I’ll make sure to set aside time to explore Phoenix (NASPA 2012!), because seeing our host city through the eyes of its inhabitants made my conference experience that much more meaningful.

The second NASPA lesson I learned is one that I hadn’t expected to learn, but that helped me retain my sanity up through the end of the six days when I could barely keep my eyes open long enough to board the plane back to Atlanta: everyone has a Conference Personality, and knowing your CP is the key to getting the most out of your conference experience.

You see, I figured out that those expectations I had going into NASPA were given to me by a wide variety of people—fellow grads and professionals, and a little from my own personal experience—and, as such, didn’t necessarily all apply to me. To use the slang, the most important thing I took away from my conference experience was to do me. (You know, “you just do you, and I’mma do me”? No? Okay. Now you know.) I had to live NASPA my own way, not the way of the people I was with… and I could still get as much (if not more) out of the conference by doing that.

In the end, my conference experience came down to KNOWING MYSELF, which is my first piece of advice for the first-time conference go-er. Know your limitations, know your excitements, and know what you want to get out of the conference. Participate, don’t anticipate. And most importantly, make sure that you are taking part in the whole reason why professional conferences exist: professional development.

Continuing to grow as a professional in my field, in any field, is ESSENTIAL—without taking time to grow, how can I help the students I work with to do the same? And what an opportunity to professionally develop, alongside 5,000 fellow student affairs enthusiasts, all of whom I can learn something new from!

NASPA 2011 was unforgettable, and I can’t wait to experience my next professional conference.

Standing still, moving forward

Good morning, faithful followers! Last time we met, I was extolling the virtues of D-I-Y and preparing for the challenges of my current growth spurt.

February continues to be both an exciting and challenging month for me and for many students, grads, and professionals I know. The semester is in full swing, organizations are kicking back in gear, expectations are high, and a solid routine has been established.

Well, that last one is a little bit questionable, for me, at least. I always seem to start each semester thinking, “Oh, I have time to get my schedule settled, then I’ll fix a time to do homework, to work out, and to spend regular time with friends. And sleep.” Then, lo and behold, it’s the middle of February, and I still haven’t found a good time to get to the gym (is there ever a good time to get to the gym?), and I’m fluctuating between 11 hours of sleep a night on (free) weekends and 5 hours per night during the week. (ouch.) I try to plan for the rest of the semester, trying to establish a routine that’ll help me be successful, and it seems like I blink and the semester is over.

This feeling of balancing the present with the future is something that I’ve been reflecting on in many aspects of my life recently. Just like the title of this post, often I feel like I’m standing still, looking to move forward, and then all of a sudden it’s the future…and I missed the present.

A few of my best friends in my grad program and I were recently at a professional conference, listening to a wonderful keynote speech by a hero of our student affairs field (shoutout to Dr. Marcia Baxter Magolda!), and she set aside time during her speech for us to talk in groups about our self-authorship (the concept of listening to and trusting one’s inner voice) and our students’ paths to self-authorship, and how we can help each other along the way. Well, let me tell you, reflection is a FAVORITE pastime of us student affairs grads, so my friends and I got into some deep conversations in the 5-minute discussion times allotted to us.

One of the pieces of our conversation and reflection stands out to me as I think back, and really relates to my personal feelings about the subject of this post, standing still and moving forward. As first-year students in a two-year Master’s degree program, it seems like we have a LOT to learn in a SHORT amount of time. Our good friends the second-years are already embarking upon their job searches, trying to secure various spots as professionals in our field, and we first-years often get a little caught up thinking about—and worrying about—that future. Job searching A YEAR AWAY is a little too close for comfort, and a few of us first-years have begun to consider what our areas of interest within our field are, where we might want to work, and more, and trying to make choices based upon those hopes and desires.

However, as my friends and I were reflecting on this seemingly imminent future, we paused for a moment. We realized we were getting caught up in a future that is a year away, and losing sight of the amazing learning, growing, and sharing opportunities we have RIGHT NOW.

This question—how do I balance preparing for the future with living in and enjoying the present?—is starting to pervade into other areas of my life, as I mentioned before. Even the simplest thing, such as me counting down to (what I like to call) my triumphant return visit to my undergrad in two weeks, is me focusing on the FUTURE and pushing through the PRESENT. Granted, I’ve been looking forward to this trip for several months, but isn’t that the problem? Because—and here’s the tough question—what happens when it’s over?

Think on that a minute. Sometimes, we spend so much time looking forward to and preparing for the future, that

we forget to stop,

look around,

smell some roses,

love some people,

and enjoy the moment.

That’s my new goal for this semester (I don’t want to look more forward than that!): to REALLY and truly take time to appreciate—that’s right, I said appreciate—every. single. moment, good OR BAD.

So while I’m appreciating the moment, soaking it in, and truly taking time to be thankful for everything around me, I encourage you to do the same.

do it yourself.

Another day, another post.

This time, however, I’m going to talk about something a little more tangible: D-I-Y.

That’s right, folks: do-it-yourself. Perhaps one of the more intimidating aspects of being an adult, do-it-yourself projects have had me cowering for years. Granted, I have the genetic odds that I’ll be good at D-I-Y: both of my parents are able to keep our house ship-shape and tidy, only occasionally having to call in a professional for something big (e.g. our air conditioner breaking, or installing a set of ventless logs in the fireplace). For the most part, though, the ‘rents have set the example of self-sufficiency, especially when it comes to household projects.

Want to know the surprising thing? I can conquer MANY of these D-I-Y projects. There is some trial and error, and I’ll often find myself calling my parents FIRST to try to figure out what the heck to do to fix something, or eventually calling in professionals (i.e. I still don’t know how to change a tire; thank God for AAA).

But since I moved to Florida, I’ve handled some D-I-Y nicely, which adds some proper grown-up feeling to my life.

—Toilet: stopped running. My toilet has been running a lot recently (no, this will NOT turn into a joke about catching it), and as much as I jiggled the handle, it wouldn’t stop. Not only is that sound annoying, but it also wastes a LOT of water. So what did I do? I opened the toilet tank, grabbed a screwdriver, and tightened some of the screws that balance out the float ball in the tank. (Please note: I don’t know the proper terms for any of this.) And you know what? My toilet isn’t running anymore.

—Shower drain: unclogged. (Thanks, Drain-O.)

—Wall shelves: installed. WITHOUT A LEVEL. (One of them actually won’t hang right on the wall, but it’s not because it’s crooked, it’s because I don’t have the correct size Phillips-head screwdriver to get the screw in the wall far enough. But it doesn’t bother me enough to get another screwdriver, or to just buy a new shelf…)

—Knobs on the kitchen cabinets and doors: tightened. (This is something fun to do while you’re waiting for your food to microwave: go around and see what knobs are loose, grab a screwdriver, and fix ‘em.)

So basically, I foresee myself following in the footsteps of my mother and father, puttering around the house with a drill and a hammer, installing shelf systems, re-finishing wardrobes, and cleaning out the gutters. (just kidding about that last one: I’m afraid of heights.) It’s a nice sense of satisfaction, to know that I can take care of business when an emergency arises, but it’s also valuable to know the projects I can’t conquer so I know when to call in the professionals (I really do need to learn how to change a tire, though).

Got a running toilet or a picture that needs hanging? You know who to call.

Growth Spurt, 2K11

So here comes another crazy growing up metaphor from yours truly:

When you’re young, you go through growth spurts. Some days you think you’re going to stay 4’1” for forever, then during the night your shins hurt, and a week later you’re 6 feet tall. Okay, maybe not that quickly, but you get the point, right?

Well, as I’ve discovered over the past (oh, how long has it been since I last posted…) four months, becoming an adult (mentally. emotionally. whatever.) is the same way. You may go a few months, thinking you’ve hit your learning limit for a while, and BOOM… it’s growth time. Unfortunately, these “growth spurts” don’t always happen when you want them to. So not only do you have to deal with the discomfort of growing, you have to deal with the growth at a time that is (usually) unexpected and (often) inconvenient.

So far, Spring 2011 has been a constant growth spurt. The hardest part about growing now is the nature of this semester: classes, coursework, my job, EVERYTHING is enjoyable, but it is also extraordinarily challenging. I am learning yet another lesson of growing up: just because something is fun doesn’t mean it’s going to be easy. (I’m sure there’s a corollary to that…just because something is easy doesn’t mean it’s going to be fun?) Additionally, balancing those two aspects—learning and enjoying myself—is more difficult than I anticipated.

This is another one of those times when my mentors and advisors in student affairs were proven correct. I recall them saying…

“You know, one of the hardest semesters in graduate school is your second one. You’re getting the swing of things at work, so they’ll challenge you more and expect more from you as a professional, and as for classes, it’s the same thing—they truly challenge you so that they can broaden your horizons and ensure that you’re really doing your work at the graduate level.”

Of course, we all know what my response is to “stories from the trenches.” (I think I’m going to start referring to all student affairs anecdotes as “stories from the trenches.” Be prepared to hear some before this growing up thing is all said and done.) I think, “Oh, okay, so my advisors were challenged. But, you know, that doesn’t necessarily mean that it’s going to be as hard as they say, right?”

WRONG. Wrong, wrong, wrong. (Dearest advisors, how could I ever doubt you?)

Now, don’t get me wrong. I’m not complaining (surprisingly). I actually relish the challenge; I look forward to the prospect of coming out on the other side of this semester as a better person and professional. I’m excited about my classes—Diversity, Student Development Theories (I’m geeking out about that one), and Outcomes of Undergraduate Education (an assessment class). I’m enjoying taking a more hands-on advisory role with the students I advise, and I have already learned a lot from the projects I’m undertaking at work. Even more so, I’m expanding my horizons and interning with the Office of Greek Life here at Florida State, which is a student affairs dream come true for me (once again, geeking out).

Also, I have the confidence and reassurance of my faith to help me through the tough times. It’s hard times like this where the cliches actually do come to have meaning, and I have enough hindsight and perspective on my life so far to see that they really are true. Three of these “cliches”—ehh, I don’t like that; let’s call them maxims—really do resonate with me and are bolstering my spirits for the challenges ahead:

1. Where God closes a door, some way He opens a window.

2. If God brings you to it, He will bring you through it.

3. Everything happens for a reason.

Knowing these things, and knowing I have the support (and extreme empathy) of my family, fellow graduate students, advisors, mentors, and professionals, makes this growth spurt a little easier, and gives me the extra confidence I need to power through this semester.

This is cassidy, signing off to go grow some more.

Growing Pains

Here I am in the sixth week of graduate school, in the sixth week of a new phase of my life, and I figured it was time to sit down and take stock of everything. Before I get to the meat of the post, let me preface with a mini-life update, and then I’ll share what has spurred my newest “Eureka!” moment.

Life in my new state is… different. Last time I posted, I spoke to my feelings of fear about my job; fear that I would be inadequate and fear of being far away from home. Well, I started my job and my new graduate classes, and, surprisingly, the first few weeks breezed by. It has definitely been part of the growing-up challenge to get used to my routine (work during the day, class in the evenings, balancing homework time and social life time), but slowly I’m getting the hang of the balance. Luckily, I’m surrounded by a wonderful group of new friends and wise professionals who are more than willing to support me and share their own experiences.

All the professionals I’ve met along the way have been more than happy to share their grad school highs and lows, which has been SUCH a valuable resource for me during both the application process and now that I’m actually a grad student. However, I wish I had listened to them a little more closely…

You see, as I was going through the grad school decision-making process, I was told by all of my mentors and advisors that there would be an intense period of unease in my first semester as a grad student. They all told me that they were homesick, tired, and struggled with questioning their decision to attend grad school. When I heard all of this, of course I sympathized, but in the deep recesses of my mind, I thought, “I can get through all that. Sure, I might be a little homesick, but there’s no reason to question why I’m in student affairs—I know I’m happy in this field, that I can make a difference!”

How silly of me, to think I was above that struggle.

Sure enough, the past week has been a very thought-provoking and intense time, with me being uncomfortable and unsure of myself in EVERY aspect of my life, and desperately wondering whether I was meant to do this after all. It wasn’t caused by any one factor, which should have clued me in to what this struggle was REALLY about, but it did seem overwhelming and all-encompassing.

Two experiences have helped me begin to process these crazy and intense emotions and questions.

First, in my wonderful Student Personnel Work class, our professor asked us how our transition was going. I raised my hand and was honest with the class that I was having a tough time. And then… ALMOST EVERYONE ELSE RAISED THEIR HANDS AND SAID THE EXACT SAME THINGS. Turns out, my mentors and advisors were right (as usual :))—EVERYONE goes through a period of homesickness, discomfort, and questioning. As my professor put it, we ARE in a transition right now. We are neither here nor there—a strange combination of professional and student, distanced from our undergraduate institutions yet not entirely certain of our new institution, far from old friends and settling in with new. And IT’S OKAY TO BE IN THIS AWKWARD TIME. Hey, everyone’s awkward right now. We just have to embrace it, own it, and learn from it.

The second “Eureka!” moment I had regarding my struggle came last night, in my Ethical Leadership in Higher Education class. There we were, discussing different leadership theories, talking about how the study of leadership has changed over the decades. In the midst of our deep discussion, we hit upon Heifetz and Laurie’s 1999 article “The Work of Leadership” and their discussion of how to deal with active challenges versus technical challenges, and then dealing with the resulting distress.

That word “distress” resonated with me, and with the class—we spent a significant portion of the discussion on what it means to deal with adaptive challenges and the distress that comes with them. In an adaptive challenge, change is necessary. With change comes stress, discomfort, and pain. As a leader, you must be able to negotiate the line between encouraging your followers to grow (and dealing with their resulting discomfort) and pushing them too hard.

Here comes the “Eureka!”; maybe you’ve already spotted it—with change comes stress, discomfort, and pain.

Think about physical growth when you’re a child and adolescent—you experience growing pains, your body’s physical manifestation of the growth that’s occuring. In mental and professional growth, we must also deal with pain; it just doesn’t manifest itself physically (although ask your average grad student, and I bet you we can tell you ALL about our physical problems because of our stress!), but rather as acute discomfort and pain. Growth IS stress. That’s a fact of life.

However, when the “growth spurt” is done, when you’re out of the “pressure cooker” and on the other side, you have to consider—wasn’t the pain worth it?

For me, the pain WILL be worth it. For the rest of my career, yeah, I’ll have to deal with stress, discomfort, and sometimes pain, but if it makes me a better person and a better professional, isn’t it worth it? Yes, it is.

And just as I accept and embrace my fear, I accept and embrace ALL of the discomfort that comes with growth, because it means that, slowly but surely, I’m growing up. The question is how I’m going to deal with the discomfort as it comes. And thankfully, I have family, friends, and colleagues who are the best support I could ask for in my times of growth. I can only hope I serve them the same way.

The sixth week of my graduate career is almost at a close; the rest of my career is on the horizon. And it’s a beautiful thing.

Don't let your life pass you by

So this is change.

Tonight, as I hung up on two consecutive phone calls from two good friends and former counselors of mine, I experienced the first (well, second—first was watching my parents drive away) acute and stinging pangs of homesickness.

Let me qualify: So far, my new home state is beautiful. I enjoyed the drive here (although it was LONG), I’ve enjoyed settling in with my roommates, I have LOVED getting to know my new cohort classmates and cannot wait to embark upon the journey of the next three years with them. We have orientation tomorrow (I LOVE that word and all it stands for) and I start work Tuesday; we have a busy welcome week with classes starting a week from tomorrow! And I cannot WAIT to get to know my students.

That being said, it’s hard to let go of the past. This time of year is always special because of my beloved organizations, and here I am in a different state; even more, a different TIME ZONE, at a different university, getting ready to ADVISE students as they come back to school and their own organizations, wishing at this very moment to be dyeing my hair, organizing discussion group times, making tutus, buying school supplies, and generally being at home at my undergrad.

I’m afraid. I’m afraid of beginning a time in a new city, a new state, at a new university with a culture very different from the one I’m used to. I’m afraid of my new classes, hoping that I will be able to succeed as a graduate student. I’m afraid of being in a professional advisory capacity to students; afraid that I will be an insufficient helper to them in their times of greatest need. And I am deeply afraid that, in spite of my heart being so at home right now, my loved ones far away will forget about me.

But, as I have begun to discover, growing up is all about fear. It’s about recognizing what fears exist. It’s about acknowledging those fears, what they entail, and where they stem from. And, ultimately, it’s deciding that the direction in which I want to head in life—the path that I choose—is worth all the fear.

The relationships I will be building over the next two years, the students I will be interacting with and learning from, the professionals whose guidance will ground me and lead me, the beautiful new things I will be learning about my chosen profession—all these things make this pain, this fear, this sadness, WORTH IT.

Ultimately, I do need to accept the homesickness for what I am comfortable with and the fear that I will be forgotten.

But I also need to hold on to the truth that I know for a fact I am loved and supported even over those 1,000 miles, and those people are completely confident in me.

Even more than that, I need to embrace what the past has given me. But instead of letting the fear hold me back, I need to let the strength and knowledge I have gained over the past four years bolster my hope and give me the reassurance that I HAVE chosen the right path and profession for me. I WILL be learning a lot, and I MIGHT struggle sometimes, but the fact remains that my passion for this field remains, and I’m not going anywhere.

So, as orientation begins tomorrow, and as I begin to orient myself on the path towards a master’s degree and a professional career, I do miss my past, but I am letting it settle into me as the foundations for a bright and happy future on a new path, in a new place, with new and promising friends, mentors, and lessons to learn. My undergraduate career did much to make me who I am up ‘til now, but it’s time to take the leap towards the person I want to become.

Deep thoughts for a Sunday night, but, as one of my favorite authors says, “For each of us comes a time when we must be more than what we are.” (Lloyd Alexander)

My time is now. When is yours?

Happiness is two kinds of ice cream...

In what is assuredly (and hopefully) my most rushed post yet (for I am, once again, borderline going to be late for work), I’m going to expound a little bit on a new project.

In my quest for maturity and as mentioned in a previous post, I am seeking to be happy and/or content with myself and my situation at any given moment in the present. I think this speaks to my search for joy in general, and I’m trying to realize and be thankful for the blessings God gives me every single day and at every moment.

So, in trying to realize this endeavor (and perhaps achieve some self-actualization in the process [thanks Jung]), I am undertaking a project called The Happy List.

Combining several factors that make me happy in general—namely, tiny notebooks, writing, making lists, and thinking about positive things—I am starting to carry around a small notebook in which I make a list of things that make me happy. There are conditions to this list: first of all, FIVE items at a time must be added (in keeping with the theme of things that make me happy, which includes the number five). Secondly, any time I am feeling depressed, angry, listless, malcontent, just negative in general, I MUST add to this list. Thirdly, the things that make me happy MUST be things that are currently happening in my life, because my goal is to find contentment and joy in EVERY moment of EVERY day.

So far, this list is short and includes things like making my bed (which, surprisingly, DOES make me happy) and using gel pens (which has made me happy since the advent of the Gelly Roll fad, circa fifth grade), but I expect—especially with the kind of tedium and listlessness I’ve been experiencing lately—this list will soon be fruitful and multiply.

For today, I encourage you to make a small Happy List of your own. Not only does it immediately (if infinitesimally) improve your mood, it also opens your eyes and your heart to the wonderful world around us and the beautiful thing called LIFE.

Until next time :)