All the Single Ladies

I have a confession to make - I love weddings.

This isn't that shocking of a confession, I suppose; a lot of people love weddings. Two people standing up in front of God and their closest family and friends, making a life-long commitment to one another? That's a beautiful thing.

Totes me.

But when I say I love weddings, I mean even more than just the wedding itself. I mean that I am one of those people who has a wedding Pinterest board, even though I'm not dating anyone. I've been known to follow various wedding blogs (Style Me Pretty is my favorite) to see what the trends are for weddings this year. When I ask my friends about their planning process, I want to know everything, from who they asked to be in their wedding party to what gifts they're getting their wedding party; from the overall colors of the wedding to what cake or food vendor they're using (and whether or not the venue is letting them bring in their own alcohol). I can't help it; the event planner in me loves hearing about all the small details, knowing that they add up to one big, special day (and recognizing that, if done right, all the small details reflect EXACTLY who the couple is, and make the day even more special).

I have another confession to make - I am currently dabbling in the online dating world (where my Tinder & Bumble peeps at???). This honestly shouldn't be that shocking of a confession, either. More and more, it's getting harder and harder for young people to meet other singles without the help of some swiping or "liking." And especially since I just made a big move to a big city a few months ago, I figure, "It doesn't hurt to put myself out there a bit! Who knows who I'll meet?"

Of course, these two confessions aren't that world-shaking, and of course, dating leads to marriage, so it makes sense that I'm making these confessions together, right?

Well, herein lies my point.

I'm 27 years young. I am single, and for the most part, loving it. Seriously, I have an amazing new group of friends here in Charlotte, as well as my friends from Indiana, grad school, college, and my hometown. I enjoy an active social life. I am career-minded and -focused, and am passionate about the work I do in higher education. I have a loving and supportive family (who all live close to each other for the first time in 4 years).

And yet, like many people, I do get lonely sometimes. I do want to put myself out there, and meet a great guy, and settle down someday to have children and a family of my own. I see my friends meeting great partners and building a life together, and I get a little jealous, hoping someday to write a love story of my own.

Per the suggestion of my dear friend Gillian, I've been listening to the Dear Sugar Radio podcast, specifically, the three-part episode about the search for "The One." And holy heck, is this resonating with me. (I highly recommend you give it a listen, no matter your demographics, but ESPECIALLY if you're a single straight woman - the content herein applies specifically to us.)

Essentially, these podcast episodes detail a national trend: the Dear Sugar folks get untold amounts of letters from single women in their twenties-to-fifties asking the same questions: when will I meet The One? Is he even out there? Is there something wrong with me if I haven't met him yet? Are there even any available men out there anymore?

The letters they read on these episodes reflect my same internal struggles every day: I love my life, and yet I can't help but feel unfulfilled without a partner with whom to share it. My feminism tells me I don't need a man to feel fulfilled, but also tells me that I can choose and build the life that I want with whoever I want (and if that's a husband, that's perfectly ok.) My faith tells me that God works in His time and His purposes are good and perfect, but that that purpose may be for me to be married someday... or it may not.

Half of my days, I REVEL in singleness - this, my twenties, is one of the few times in my life when I'm allowed to be somewhat selfish, focusing on my self-esteem, my career, and my well-being. There are times when I can definitely imagine myself leading a whole & fulfilled life without a partner, focusing my time and energies on the other people in my life that I love.

Yet, there is this pervasive cultural narrative - and my own deeply rooted desires - that tell me that I all I want, all I need, is that "happy ending." That a life without a wedding, without a husband, without children, is no life at all. That my biological clock is a-ticking away, and time. is. running. out.

Some of this is true (at least according to the economist featured on the Dear Sugar podcast - scarcity in the dating pool is REAL!).

BUT - and here's the BIG but (ha!) - the end goal of marriage & a partner cannot consume my life. Every time I go on a date with a new guy, I can't expect to hear wedding bells ring. Dating is a crazy journey that, if you let it, can teach you as much about yourself as it does about the people that you date. In relationships, in love, the journey itself is just as important as the destination.

Reflecting on all of this, I've ended up making some healthy choices for me:

1. I've committed to "try, try again" with dating. If I don't put myself out there, I may NEVER meet someone, so the least I can do is try! And in the meantime, I can enjoy each date for the experience it is - the chance to meet and connect with someone new.
2. I have scaled back my consumption of all things wedding. This doesn't mean that I'm boycotting weddings altogether; quite the opposite, actually. In order to remind myself of the true importance of a wedding - the marriage itself, and the life two people build after the event is over - I have committed to caring less about all of the trappings of "the day."
3. I want to be open about my journey. Blogging, for me - reflecting on the meaning of romance, of dating, of singleness - is key to moving forward as a healthy woman. I want to reflect on my experiences, to be open about them, to invite conversation & dialogue with those who read my blog, and to hopefully tell others that you're not alone out there in your singleness.

So, single ladies, let us come together in solidarity! Let us drown our sorrows about the seeming lack of single, available men in wine and ice cream and chocolate! Let us ALSO build one another up in our journeys toward fulfilled, love-filled lives! And, in the words of our Queen Bee, let us "put our hands up." Let us OWN our singleness, to delight in who we are as individual women as as women together - friends and confidantes, platonic soulmates. For I don't believe in "The One," but rather in MANY "Ones" - people (romantic & platonic) who come into your life for a reason, to make it better and more whole.

When in doubt, channel Beyonce.

My #OneWord2016: Well

Since 2012, I have chosen to mark each year with the choosing of One Word. The idea behind this movement is that, instead of setting resolutions for the new year that you may (or may not) keep, you choose one word that signifies what you want to focus on for the year, what you need more of in your life, and what needs to change for you. In 2012, my word was "Believe;" in 2013, it was "Center;" in 2014, it was "Simplicity;" and in 2015, I chose "Gratitude." All of those words turned out incredibly meaningful for me, especially considering the many events and changes of the past four years. 

And now, the page has turned into a new year. The earth has taken off on her course of another revolution around the sun, and I sat myself down and thought about what I want, what I need, what I hope for in 2016. 

Let's look at the facts: 2016 will mark my 28th year on the planet. It will see the completion of my first year in my new job, and my fourth professional year post-masters. This year will mark 10 years since I graduated from high school, and 6 since I graduated from college. It will see me celebrating a year as a North Carolinian. 

When I think beyond these facts, though, and envision where I want to be in 366 days (because, of course, let's not forget that 2016 is a leap year!), I picture myself happy. I picture myself more confident. I picture my faith having grown, as well as my care for others. I picture stronger relationships. I picture a grown woman who may not know where she'll be at the end of the following year, but one who knows from where her strength comes, and one who finds joy in each day.

Really, considering this goal, there was only one word that can guide my 2016: well. 

To be "well" means to be in good health, to be of sound body and mind. It means that something is satisfactory and pleasing and good. "Well" means gratifying. "Well" to me is almost a synonym for "whole" - not a thing is missing, and if it is, it doesn't matter (or, one is strong enough to seek out the missing thing).

Doesn't that sound good, to be well? I would love to end this year feeling that I grew in wellness, that I became more holistically sound and satisfactory and gratified and whole.

So, I'll be focusing at different times this year on the six different dimensions of wellness: occupational, physical, social, intellectual, emotional, and spiritual. I haven't decided yet if each month will be a focus on a different dimension, or whether I'll set small goals for each dimension each month; stay tuned for that plan. But I thought that this approach would touch every part of my life - my body, my soul, and my mind, as well as my external world and my relationships.

Well in 2016 means I want to worry less, and procrastinate less. It means I want to eat better and get moving more. It means I want to spend less money in the short-term to save up for the long-term. It means I want to invest more in my relationships and strengthen them. It means I want to re-focus on my relationship with God, to return fully to Him and to rely fully on Him. 

This January 1, I'm making a commitment to be well in 2016. I invite you to keep up with my journey, as well as to ask me about my progress throughout the year. 

I have a good feeling about 2016. How can I not? This morning began with coffee, with prayer time, with writing, and with sharing my hopes and dreams for the coming year. 

All shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of things shall be well.

Slow Growth

Now is the winter of our discontent /  Made glorious summer by this son of York - Richard III, Act I, Scene i, Lines 1-2

The lines above may seem a little incongruous considering that summer is now over. Soon gone are the days of 9-5 office hours; kiss the lazy summer weekends by the poolside goodbye. Long-term project thinking must take a backseat to short-term proactivity and reactivity (read: firefighting). Bloomington has doubled in size once again; the roads are clogged with new students just trying to get to Target to buy that new futon. Soon, the hazy summer heat will melt into breezy days and cool nights of fall, soon to be replaced by steely gray winter days once again.

Summer, as I've written before, is one of my favorite times of year. And yet, this summer was rough.

Nothing major happened to me; no family trauma or personal tragedy befell (praise God); and yet, I was discontent this summer. I felt rushed through the days, stumbling headlong through programs and travel, and when I blinked, summer was basically over and it was time to prepare for fall and our Welcome Week programs. I turned 26, and once again found myself beset by the quarter-life crisis: What the hell am I doing with my life? I have a great job, great friends, success... why can't I be content? What am I missing? Should I be seeking something more? Anyone who has wrestled with these questions can tell you that there's no easy answer.

I still don't have an answer to these questions, months later, as we now kick into high gear for fall and another new school year. And yet, the discontent has melted away. I have made a commitment to be more present, to live IN the present, and I find myself feeling more at peace. Sure, I still ponder my next steps; sure, I'd say I'm still in the grips of yet another quarter-life crisis. But contentment is the secret word for Fall 2014, and my one "new year's resolution."

As I think about this shift in personal perspective, I think it's the result of slow growth. If you look at a plant every single day, you may think that nothing has changed. The leaves are no bigger, the stems are no taller. And yet, if you compare the plant to where it was a month ago, it has grown, even in the most subtle of ways. It has changed. It has adapted to its surroundings and found a way to push out new life, new leaves, new growth.

That's the way I feel right now. No growth spurts, no sudden bursts of insight or wisdom. But I am not the same woman I was 3 months ago, 6 months ago, a year ago, two years ago. I am the accumulation of my experiences, good and bad, and I have changed, thanks to that inevitable, creeping slow growth. I can be proud of that change, too. It's noticeable from the outside, even when I don't always acknowledge it from the inside. It's there. It's present. I am learning, growing, and becoming better, day by day. The icy nerves of my "winter of discontent" are melting away, to be replaced by rest and relaxation in the "glorious summer" of the knowledge that I am learning, and that I know more today than I knew yesterday (and, I'll know more tomorrow than I know today). I can be content, at peace.

Contentment is the name of the game, folks. I challenge you to find evidence of your slow growth this fall. Let the winter of your discontent melt away, and find a glorious summer in the knowledge that you are continually learning and changing. Find your peaceful moment in today.

LeaderShape, Day Six (and beyond): Staying in Action

Note: This Spring Break, I served as a small group facilitator on LeaderShape, a six-day immersive leadership experience for college students. This was my first time working with a LeaderShape experience, so I wanted to record and process my reflections and learning here on my blog.
Previous LeaderShape Posts: Day Zero, Day One, Day Two, Day Three, Day Four, Day Five

Waking up on Day Six of LeaderShape was absolutely surreal. As anyone who has participated in or facilitated a LeaderShape experience can tell you, it is at once the LONGEST and the SHORTEST week of your life. On the one hand, you wake up on Day Three and think to yourself, "We still have THREE MORE DAYS of this?!?" On the other hand, you blink, and all of a sudden, it's Day Six. The participants are packing their bags, we're cleaning our family cluster meeting rooms, we're wrapping up the thinking and learning and growing that's been taking place... and you can't believe a whole week has flown by.

The end of a LeaderShape experience is a special time. It consists of several pieces - first there's a wonderful commencement ceremony. As we all know from graduation speeches long-past, "commencement means beginning." As this is a meaningful concept to ponder for graduations from school, so it is for LeaderShape. The end of the retreat is only the beginning of a time back out in the world. We have spent the past six days with the participants, challenging them, having deep conversations with them, laughing with them, crying with them. We have looked inward to look outward. We have dreamed the biggest visions of all, and then simulated the often-heartbreaking and always-exhausting return to real life with all its challenges and oppression. But then, on Day Six, it's time to look forward... what will Day Seven (and beyond) look like for the participants? How will they stay in action?

This leads to the second big piece of Day Six - the concept of Day Seven. Every day after LeaderShape is considered "Day Seven" - if you let your life be a continuation of the growth you've experienced on the retreat, then every day onward can be a part of your special LeaderShape experience. I love this concept of continuity; I love the idea that each day can (and probably) should serve as a reminder of the growth that occurred on LeaderShape.

Of course, this idea is not without its challenges. I've been taking part in extended retreats for a LONG time - first with the Emmaus and Chrysalis Christian retreats in middle and high school, then with Fish Camp at Texas A&M, and now with LeaderShape - and I can tell you that the hardest part of being a part of a "mountain-top" experience like that is coming back down into the "valley."  Retreats are an amazing time to get away from the world and be reminded of the important things... but what happens when you come back? Can the concepts you've learned, the realizations you've had, the ideas you've birthed, stay alive in the toughness of everyday life? Can the relationships you've formed stand the stress and tests of the nine-to-five grind? Can the "process of life-long leadership," as LeaderShape describes it, continue?

I think the answer is "Yes, but it won't be easy." 

LeaderShape begins Day Six with a quote by Oliver Wendell Holmes: "A mind once stretched by a new idea never regains its original dimension." On the LeaderShape experience, the mind, the heart, and the soul have been stretched. Sometimes the process hurts, sometimes it feels like your mind should have been stretched all along; regardless, the experience changes you in a fundamental way. Then, returning to the "real world"... things are different. YOU are different. You see the world in a different way, hopefully never to return to your "original dimension," because the new way is infinitely better than the old.

But again, these changes are not without challenges. Friends and family may not see eye-to-eye with your new perspective. You may be ready and energized for radical change; the world may say, "Whoa, whoa. Who do you think you are with these new ideas? Slow your roll, buddy. Things are the way they are for a reason." Coming back down into the "valley" of everyday life can be exhausting, disheartening, and can knock you over 'til it feels like you can't get back up.

So how do you deal with this process? How do you retain the energy and inertia you gained in your experience? How do you stay in action?

To be honest... I'm still figuring out the answers to those questions. As you can tell from my past reflections on this experience, LeaderShape changed even ME, a facilitator, in a fundamental way. I questioned my ways of thinking and my values right along with the participants; I built new relationships and new visions for how I wanted the world to be. I was in it right along with everyone else, and it was a beautiful thing. And now, I am practicing what LeaderShape calls "resilience," because I am right down in the valley with the participants. The mountain-top seems far away and forever ago, and now I'm living in the nine-to-five grind again... but I am different. I am practicing getting back up after falling down (or being pushed down), because I've started to realize that my life, my values, can and should mean SO much more to me and be SO much more of a part of my life than they are. 

It's not easy. But it is my privilege and my responsibility to carry forward the lessons I learned and the joy I gained from LeaderShape, and to try to change the world - my world - a little bit at a time, every day. 

~

It's now over a month since LeaderShape ended. It's a rainy day in April; the school semester ends in 12 days. My engine has been running on all cylinders for the past month since I got back; my mind is mush and my energy is low. But in the grey murk of this Monday, there's a little spark for me, as I think back on LeaderShape. As I consider the amazing things I witnessed, the amazing students and facilitators I met, the spark glows brighter. As I remember my promises to myself to stay true to me and to my values, the spark turns into a little flame. And I smile, because I know that, as long as that flame is there - hell, as long as that spark doesn't go out - I am going to make it. Today will flow into other days; the world will keep turning; I will try my hardest to be a spark for others. I will keep my flame lit, to try to light the way in the gray.

My #OneWord2014

I've posted previously about the #oneword phenomenon: you choose One Word by which you will live your year. In 2012, my #oneword was "Believe" (see the year in review here) and in 2013, my #oneword was "Center" (see the year in review here).

As you may be able to tell from my post, my 2013 OneWord was not quite as successful as I'd hoped, in that I didn't end the year a more centered, calm, rational, confident human being. In fact, quite the opposite--I ended 2013 more unsure of myself than perhaps I've ever been before. But, ultimately, I decided that that is okay. Don't they (although I don't know who "they" are) always say that your twenties are a time for questioning, for failing and falling and picking yourself back up again, for making mistakes and learning from them? I've never really allowed myself to do that before; in fact, at the end of 2013 I realized that I really am rather hard on myself. I expect confidence, I expect perfection, I expect my life to be together at all times. And that is SIMPLY not how life WORKS, ya know? Life is messy, and hard, and just when you think you're on the up-and-up you trip and stumble and fall. But life can also be beautiful and gorgeous and silly and fun and just when you think you're stuck in a hole, a loved one jumps in the hole with you and shows you the way out (yes, that's a "West Wing" reference. You're welcome).

So for 2014, I've decided to be okay with the crazy roller coaster that we call life. I've decided to do my best to improve myself and my circumstances, to love others around me, and to be okay when things get messy. In order to support myself with this new mantra, I've picked a OneWord for 2014. Are you ready?

My #OneWord2014 is: simplicity.

How beautiful, right? Just the word "simplicity" itself rolls off your tongue, and makes you feel like life is going to be okay.
To help direct my reflections and my action plan, I turned toward the ever-brilliant dictionary.com for my definitions.
1. the state, quality, or an instance of being simple (i.e. easy to understand, not elaborate or artificial, unadorned, natural, unembellished)
2. freedom from complexity, pretentiousness, etc.
3. freedom from deceit or guile; sincerity

THOSE are the things I want in 2014. Understanding, authenticity, sincerity, freedom from complexity. I want to clear my life of the clutter, and of all the extras that I don't need, and to get back to the basics of what is TRULY important.

I acknowledge that life is hard, and that life can be complicated. BUT, and here's the thing, I ALSO know that I can choose my response to life's hardness. I can choose my reaction. I can choose how I live my days; I can practice sincerity and understanding and freedom from complexity in order to try to bring a little understanding back into my own life. I won't and can't know everything, I won't and can't understand everything. But if life were a little more simple, a little more direct, a little more natural, mightn't we be happier, more joyful? Isn't it worth a try?

So here are some of the ways I'm going to practice simplicity in 2014.

• Overall living: be okay with falling & failure. worry less. pray more. be kinder to myself. celebrate small victories and joys. 
• Health: try to find good habits that fit my life. pre-cook meals so that lunches during the week are easier and less stressful (and I'll be less inclined to eat unhealthfully). drink more water.
• Home: pare down unneeded possessions. donate to those more needy than I. begin good cleaning habits to keep my home in better repair. 
• Work: utilize my Outlook calendar to plan out task completion. plan for interruptions so they're less off-putting. ask for help more. be more honest and direct with my co-workers and students. 
• Finances: simplify, simplify, simplify, especially in regard to impulse buys. save more.
• Family & Friends: write more. call more. love more.
• Work/Life Balance: create good habits of me-time, friend-time, and God-time. journal and blog more (to reflect more). set aside time to look ahead so I feel more prepared for each week.

As you can see, some of the key things that this year will include are clearing the noise and clutter, building good habits, being sincere and honest, and being okay when things don't go perfectly. I think that last one will really be the key to living, loving, and learning in 2014: life will NOT be perfect OR perfectly simple. But the more I can do to learn when things go wrong, the better. And the more I can be honest with myself and with others about who I am and what I'm learning, the better.

I think practicing simplicity in 2014 will, more than anything, come down to learning how to live in the moment. Life will get complicated, it always does. But there is and always will be some small joy to celebrate in each moment of each day. I can't spend too much of my time looking back, missing or regretting the past, nor looking forward, worrying or trying to conquer the future. The most I can do is just LIVE. 

A Week of Thankfulness #3: Life!

Happy Turkey Day, everyone!

So today's thankfulness topic may be a little bit of a cop-out, but it's very true--I'm thankful for life, my life in particular. As I was flying this morning, heading to Texas to spend this weekend with some of my best friends in the entire world, it occurred to me that my life is VERY blessed. I'm so thankful for all of the wonderful gifts that God has given me--my family, friends, job, health... the list gets more detailed and goes on and on.

Suffice it to say, despite the ups and downs we experience, this life we live is pretty sweet. I'm thankful for my circumstances, I'm thankful for the joy I find (or try to find) in every day, and I'm thankful for life.

In honor of today being the kickoff of Hanukkah... L'chaim, and Happy Thanksgiv(ukkah)ing!

A Week of Thankfulness #2: Home

In the spirit of the holidays beginning, and Thanksgiving being in TWO DAYS, I've decided that this week, I'm going to blog every day about something that I'm thankful for. Yesterday, I talked about sisterhood; today, I want to talk about home.

I really like the multiple definitions of home, as defined by good ol' dictionary.com:
1. a house, apartment, or other shelter that is the usual residence of a person, family, or household.
2. the place in which one's domestic affections are centered.

If you think about #1, I suppose my home now is Bloomington, IN, and for that, I'm thankful, although it's strange to think that my "usual residence" is no longer in the state of Texas. In fact, the place I consider my hometown, where I lived full-time for 10 years and part-time for 6--S'nangelo (San Angelo for the uninitiated)--isn't even the place I return for the holidays anymore, considering my parents moved to a different city (and different state) around the same time I did last year. But, I'm thankful for the 16 years that San Angelo gave me, and I'm VERY thankful for the year and half that Bloomington has given me, especially as it has meant full-time, gainful, awesome employment. Bloomington is a COOL town, and IU is a COOL place, and I'm thankful for my "usual residence," even though it's somewhere new (and winter is a new thing for me).

I've also called a few other places my "usual residences"--College Station, TX, for a magical 4 years, and Tallahassee, FL, for a fantastic 2 years. I'm thankful for all those cities did for me and gave to me; they were pretty cool towns to call home.

Now, though, we're approaching into the territory covered by definition #2, and I love the way that dictionary.com phrases this--"the place in which one's domestic (familial) affections are centered." Even though my hometown isn't my "place of usual residence" anymore, I still have MANY domestic affections centered in The Wool and Mohair Capital of the World (that is a real nickname, y'all). San Angelo will always be my hometown; reppin' the 325 'til I die (forgive me).

Then, there's College Station, TX, a place where my familial affections find their epicenter, thanks to the Aggie Family. Being a Former Student of Texas A&M University means the world to me, and I am SO thankful for the values that Aggieland instilled in me. My heart beats a little faster when I drive down Highway 6, headed for a beautiful place that I'll always call home.

In an unexpected turn of events, Tallahassee, FL (and, more specifically, Florida State University) became home for me during my time in graduate school. Especially in my coworkers, my students, and my cohort-mates, I found a new place to center my domestic affections. FSU is a special place, and the Higher Ed program (and the LifeNet) have become my home and family more than I could have ever predicted. I'm thankful for the work that the professionals and students at that school do, and I'm thankful for the confidence that I gained during my time in Talla-classy that prepared me for my current home and position.

Finally, here's the real crux of this post--I'm thankful for the people who exist in my life who give me places to "center my familial affections." There's my extended family who live ALL over the country (and world), but especially in DFW, who give me a chance to call those places my home. There's all my best friends who, again, live all over the country, giving me more "homes" than I can count. In fact, this Thanksgiving, I get to call Austin, TX my home, thanks to several of my best friends from college.

That's the real beauty of home, I think--it exists wherever your family exists. And I'm thankful for my family and friends, who give me a reason to find home wherever they are. In the end, the old saying is true--home IS where the heart is.

So, for my family and friends--you are my heart, and my home, and I'm thankful for you!

Musings on an October Day

Sometimes, one gets the urge to write, and so one must indulge oneself, no matter if one's thoughts are cohesive. (One also occasionally sounds like the Queen of England. We are not amused.)

~

It's FINALLY feeling like fall in Indiana, and Mother Nature isn't the only one dealing with changes. It seems as if everything is in flux right now, but not necessarily in a bad way. I've made a few life changes on my own account for which I'm VERY proud of myself:

FIRST: I started taking a modern dance class once a week. It is the day when I leave work at 5 p.m. like normal people do, and it is the day when I pretend to be Jody Sawyer from Center Stage and just dance my little heart out (regardless of my feet!).

SECOND: I was invited, accepted, and initiated into Gamma Phi Beta sorority as an alumna initiate, and I couldn't be happier about my new sisterhood. I am thrilled to join a long history of women who believe in inspiring "the highest type of womanhood," and I am already so impressed by the alumnae and undergrads that I've met who are now my sisters. I can't wait to get more involved with the chapter here at IU, and to get to fully experience being a Greek!

~

Work continues apace. I am in the midst of my second year as a professional at IU, and my fourth year (SO weird to think about) in a student affairs role as a para/professional. On the one hand, there are moments when I am 1000% confident in who I am as a colleague and advisor; I relish the times when I (finally) know an answer to a student's question or when I am able to provide historic or institutionally contextual perspective to a discussion. I'm expanding my network and deepening my friendships on campus, and I'm FINALLY feeling like a Bloomington "townie." On the other hand, and I have been assured that I am NOT alone in this, there are moments when the dreaded "impostor syndrome" still plagues me, and when I feel like I have been working at this job for a little over a month instead of a little over a year. Thankfully, I have a supportive supervisor and encouraging colleagues, and so I strive to make it through each week a little wiser and a little more equipped professionally.

~

Nerd Alert: the GREAT news is that I'm getting the chance to take part in some awesome professional development opportunities this fall - not only is IU hosting this year's Indiana Student Affairs Association Drive-In Conference (yay day-long pro.dev.!), I also had a presentation proposal accepted at an upcoming regional conference in Ohio! ACUI, one of my professional organizations (the Association of College Unions-International, for those of you who are curious), is hosting my region's conference in a couple of weeks, and I'll be presenting on how to talk with and teach college students about fiscal responsibility in programming (using my own students as a case study). Yeah, I know, I'm a big nerd. But I really like my job and my students are really smart, and I can't not brag on them! I'm also excited to get to talk with other professionals in the midwest about the work they're doing, and see if I can't get some really great ideas to bring back here to our Union.

~

I'm getting the travel bug again. It happens every couple of months, so I'm right on schedule. While the bug will be partially satiated by the aforementioned conference in Ohio, I'll REALLY be getting my travel fix for Thanksgiving, when I get to make a grand return to the motherland for some turkey with good friends and another best friend's WEDDING festivities! (Which will be held at The Salt Lick. Yes, you may indulge in jealousy, while I indulge in delicious barbecue.)

~

I realize, at the end of all this, that it's like a newsletter for my life. But I really have gotten the blogging itch today, and I realized that it's been two and a half months since I last updated this blog, and so I felt some routine life updates were in order. I've been pondering some deeper issues that will hopefully become blog posts sooner rather than later, but in the meantime, I wanted to put it out to the universe that I'm alive and pretty darn content with life.

(As a treat for making it all the way to the end of this post, you now get to watch what must rank as one of the cutest videos of all time. You're welcome.)

Life's a Banquet

Well, hi there.

I know that I promised to keep you updated vis-a-vis my life changes on this blog... but that's the problem with social media today. You can update "all your friends" via the quick-and-easy outlets, and neglect the medium that really makes you think. For me, that's been this blog. If you look through past posts, you'll see that I've taken to blogging when I really need to process--most of the time I just need to set my words down "on paper" (so to speak) in order to make sense of the world. It's both a blessing and a curse, I think, that I do my processing via writing; it's a weird, half-internal and half-external way of regarding life.

But I digress; I'll wax philosophical on blogging at a later date--for now, I figured that the promised update was indeed in order. 

Although, knowing the nature of social media, I figure pretty much all of you who read this blog know about my amazing, wonderful, joyous, glorious life news and life change--I am now living in the beautiful city of Bloomington, Indiana, working at Indiana University-Bloomington. I persevered and persevered with my job search, pushing my hardest, trying my best, and agonized and worried every step of the way... and inevitably and ultimately, God blessed me immeasurably with a wonderful job, co-workers, students, and institution. 

And, despite some of the day-to-day challenges (choosing a retirement plan is NOT as easy as it sounds), I am happy.

I'm living on my own, TRULY on my own, for the very first time, and the introverted side of me LOVES coming home to the peace and quiet of my own space. 

I'm getting a grown-up paycheck, which I won't go too much into detail about, but which I'm sure MOST of you understand is one of the single greatest joys of having a job.

I'm making new friends and building relationships with new colleagues, which is intimidating at first, but which I know will prove to be a smart move over the next few years.

I'm exploring my new city, from the local eateries (listen, you don't really know breakfast joy 'til you've eaten at The Village Deli) to the local breweries (one word: Upland) to the local events and festivals. And I'm hoping to expand outward as the weather gets cooler, hiking in some of the nearby state parks. By the way, in case you didn't know, I have REAL FALL to look forward to in a few weeks.

More than anything, I'm enjoying each day's joys, mistakes, and lessons, storing it all up in my head and in my heart--this is the stuff that Job One is built on. I'll take each day one day at a time, and I'll do my best to make each day count (yes, that was a Titanic reference). 

And finally, for anyone who is still on the job search, or who will embark on it soon--you've got a friend and a sympathetic ear in me. Call/email/Facebook/Tweet at me anytime. You WILL get through this, and you WILL find a job. You ARE a competent and intelligent individual, and you CAN do this.

For everyone else, I must thank you for your kind words, thoughts, and prayers--my perseverance through the job search was due in large part to knowing I had a wonderful cheering section behind me. Whatever I can do to return the favor, you just let me know.

Now, it's time to get out there and live. 

As one of my favorite literary/cinematic characters, Auntie Mame says, "Life's a banquet, and most poor suckers are starving to death! Live!"

My banquet--and yours--awaits. Let's make today count.

Happiness is two kinds of ice cream...

In what is assuredly (and hopefully) my most rushed post yet (for I am, once again, borderline going to be late for work), I’m going to expound a little bit on a new project.

In my quest for maturity and as mentioned in a previous post, I am seeking to be happy and/or content with myself and my situation at any given moment in the present. I think this speaks to my search for joy in general, and I’m trying to realize and be thankful for the blessings God gives me every single day and at every moment.

So, in trying to realize this endeavor (and perhaps achieve some self-actualization in the process [thanks Jung]), I am undertaking a project called The Happy List.

Combining several factors that make me happy in general—namely, tiny notebooks, writing, making lists, and thinking about positive things—I am starting to carry around a small notebook in which I make a list of things that make me happy. There are conditions to this list: first of all, FIVE items at a time must be added (in keeping with the theme of things that make me happy, which includes the number five). Secondly, any time I am feeling depressed, angry, listless, malcontent, just negative in general, I MUST add to this list. Thirdly, the things that make me happy MUST be things that are currently happening in my life, because my goal is to find contentment and joy in EVERY moment of EVERY day.

So far, this list is short and includes things like making my bed (which, surprisingly, DOES make me happy) and using gel pens (which has made me happy since the advent of the Gelly Roll fad, circa fifth grade), but I expect—especially with the kind of tedium and listlessness I’ve been experiencing lately—this list will soon be fruitful and multiply.

For today, I encourage you to make a small Happy List of your own. Not only does it immediately (if infinitesimally) improve your mood, it also opens your eyes and your heart to the wonderful world around us and the beautiful thing called LIFE.

Until next time :)