Gratitude Lesson #4: Good For the Soul

It's now been over five months since I moved to Charlotte; I really can't believe it. For the most part, this journey has been an overwhelmingly positive one - I am learning so many new things in my new job; I am forging strong connections with my colleagues; I am practicing pretty healthy work-life balance (especially compared to this time three years ago, when I was just starting my job in Indiana).

This last part has really been the key for me in this job. I burned out incredibly quickly in my first professional position, giving 100% of myself 100% of the time. The work took its toll, and within a year I was full of anxiety and stress constantly, with few friends and no life outside of work to speak of. Thankfully, I eventually learned my lesson, and my last year at IU was a positive one, with good social relationships and mental separation from my work. My success in FINALLY learning how to leave work at work, combined with my strong friendships, made my last year in Indiana a truly positive one, and as I accepted this job in Charlotte, I vowed to myself to practice good work-life balance.

Now I'm five months in, like I said, and boy oh boy has my resolve on this promise been tested and proven. In starting a new job, it's incredibly tempting to give of yourself fully - to work long hours, to show that you're truly a committed member of the team. I want to hang out with my new coworkers; I want to build relationships with my students; I want to show up at events to show my support of my new institution.

At the same time, I know myself. I know I need some walls up between my personal and professional. I know I need time at home to be me, to recharge and fill my bucket again. And I know I need a strong personal support system at work to add to the atmosphere of the office.

I am so thankful to have found a SOLID group of friends here at my new institution. We gathered in a piecemeal kind of way, but gather we did, and it has been good for my soul to have a reliable group of female friends who challenge me, support me, and generally make my life happier.

This past weekend, 6 of our group made our way up to Asheville for #MountainWeekend, an excursion we had been planning for three months. September and October were busy and stressful, as they always are (for me, almost to the point of being hellish). So since the calendar ticked over to November, I have been eagerly anticipating this weekend getaway.

Between the amazing sisterhood of these women - all of us with different jobs, different family lives, different backgrounds, different beliefs, yet all of us united in friendship and love - and the glory that is Asheville, NC and its surrounding countryside, the weekend was borderline perfection. We hot-tubbed, we ate and drank, we saw waterfalls and forests and lakes and mountains, we gossiped and gave advice, we explored the city. We had a ball, and it was JUST what I needed.

To top that, the weekend before this one, I made my way back to College Station for an Aggie football game with my best girlfriends from undergrad. You want to talk about happiness and joy, and feeling like I'm exactly where I belong? If so, get me to tell you about my weekend back in Texas. I just felt... whole. Complete.

As 2015 is winding toward its conclusion, I'm starting to reflect again on my One Word, "gratitude." There have been a lot of things I've been grateful for this year so far; some I've blogged about, and some have been experienced in the moment. But what I've been learning is that moments of joy are not to be taken for granted.

My heart and soul were SO happy these past two weekends, spending time with my old friends and deepening relationships with new ones. I was in places I love, with people I adore, respect, and trust, and I felt THANKFUL. I was thankful that I had places and people so dear to my heart, and I was thankful for the resources to be able to travel to these places to spend time with these people. I was thankful for being reminded of old memories, and I was thankful for the opportunity to create new ones. I felt thankful that I was living in the moment, and actively recognizing what a blessing my friends are. As the old saying goes, "Make new friends and keep the old; one is silver, and the other gold."

My friends are precious, precious jewels who I couldn't live without. If you're one of these friends, know I love you more than words can say, and I'm thankful for your presence in my life.

Treat Yo'self.

If you're anything like me, multitasking is NOT your strong suit. I have tried and tried to develop multitasking as a skill, and you'd think that as a part of the Millennial Generation I'd be a pro at hopping from task to task, but more often than not I find that multitasking confuses and exhausts me. I much prefer to focus on one task at a time, working towards that task's completion (or at least to a good stopping point).

The problem, of course, is that the nature of my work - fast-paced, people-oriented advising and event planning - doesn't really allow for a "slow and steady wins the race" mentality. More often than not, I find myself juggling 3 or 4 assignments or requests at a time, then pause that work to speak with a student or co-worker, and then I come back to my desk to find 5 more tasks awaiting me. Although I very much enjoy my work, it's no wonder that I very often don't feel a sense of accomplishment at the end of the day; I hop from task to task so much that it feels like I only make baby steps toward the larger goal.

My shining moments, however, are days when the office is quiet, and I can really get to work, either zooming down my to-do list, eliminating task after task, or spending an entire morning or afternoon on just one project, focusing and trying to get into "flow" (for the curious, I highly recommend Mihalyi Czikszentmihalyi's TED Talk). I truly do feel happier and more productive when I am single-mindedly focused on just one thing at a time.

Although it's summertime and the workload and busyness are predicted to slow down for us education folks, I have found that this summer has been challengingly busy so far. Although the workday doesn't feel the same as it does during the school year (especially since I'm working magical hours - 9 am to 4 pm - as opposed to my usual 9- to 10-hour day), my days are still filled with meetings, discussions, and endless lists of tasks to get done. Shockingly, I find myself almost as exhausted at the end of these summer workdays as I do during the academic year. Unfortunately, summer is the perfect time to work on both short-term tasks and long-term projects, so burnout is something that I desperately need to avoid in order to be my most productive self.

So how can I slow the burnout?

Please note, I do not enjoy fire as much as Bellatrix Lestrange.

Knowing myself as I do, the surest way to rejuvenate my interest and energy is to find my "one project" on which I can focus. When I sat down at my desk this morning, I decided that my imminent and semi-urgent tasks on my to-do list can in fact wait until the afternoon; this morning will be spent working on a project that I enjoy and am passionate about (in this particular case, re-working my syllabus for the leadership class I'll be teaching in the fall). I will, without guilty feeling, focus for the entire morning on this project. Then, after lunch, I'll dedicate the rest of the day to crossing tasks off of the to-do list and fighting the small fires that erupt.

It's summertime, it's a Thursday, and life will go on. For now, I'm going to focus on something that gives me energy, and then I'll be able to bring that energy and interest back to my everyday work this afternoon and tomorrow.

I pose this question to you - what small decision can you make to fight your own summer burnout? How can you find ways to regain your energy, to "treat yo'self," as our good friends Donna Meagle and Tom Haverford say, so that you can continually bring your best energy to your work?

Somebody Needs the Light You Have

The end of the year is a challenging time for everyone. Whether it's my colleagues in education and we're on the cusp of summer, waiting for empty classrooms, towns, campuses, and residence halls; whether it's our business fellows, waiting for the end of the fiscal year so that their budgets (and companies) can turn over and turn around; whether it's the world waiting for December 31 to turn over to January 1, for the old to become new and for a clean slate, to start fresh... the time before the "new year" can seem interminable.

Especially in higher education, I know that my colleagues and I are on the "struggle bus," riding uphill both ways in the snow 'til the quiet, relaxation, and project-based time of summer (with the exception of my Admissions and Orientation fellows; Godspeed, my friends). Spring semester is especially a rough time - programming ramps up as the year moves toward its end; as the weather gets warmer, students get antsier to get out of Dodge, headed for internships, study abroad, and summer vacation; the weeks FLY by with seemingly no rest or respite for the weary, weary educator who just wants ONE quiet moment to BREATHE and REFLECT and for goodness' sake FINISH A TASK. (Can you tell I've been feeling the crazy this spring?)

Especially here in the Midwest, winter was HARD and seemingly never-ending (cue the Game of Thrones references), and then, even as the weather started warming up (it's a beautiful and balmy 66* here currently), so did work. Task piled upon task; program piled upon program. Conference after conference took place; email after email piled up in inboxes. Offices and desks got messier and more neglected; self-care flew out the window in favor of trying to accomplish something at work, to cross just one task off of the to-do list.

I don't say all of this to get sympathy or empathy from you. A few student affairs colleagues just had some great conversations about "The Glorification of Busy" (see the #SAchat transcript here, and some good processing blog posts from Amma Marfo here and from The SA Collective here), and the last thing I want to do is try heap up sympathy for me when, honestly, I brought a lot of the "busy" down on myself.

No, instead, what I want to talk about today is the important reminder that I got in the midst of the hard time.

I'll be real, I don't handle long-term periods of stress well. I've gotten better at it over time, but I still largely react to stress and busy-ness with unhealthy behaviors (more Netflix, less exercise; more eating out, less cooking for myself; more alone time, less time with friends). I start to let the "burnout" get to me - I emotionally and mentally withdraw from my daily life; I question my choices and my actions each day; I take critiques personally and react to situations with gut-driven emotion rather than brain-based logic. (For those of you who have stayed my friend during these times, THANK YOU. Your love of me despite my inability to handle stress means the world to me.:) )

This spring semester has felt harder than most. I am wrapping up Year Two of my job, and I question if I've accomplished or learned anything at all. My students ramped up their programming toward summer, and I questioned if I've really been supporting them and teaching them in the ways that they need. All I want is to hide away in my house, or run away from everything on a loooong vacation, to cover my eyes like a kid and say "If I can't see it, it's not real."

But the other day, I was driving to work, dreading the stress of the day, and a beautiful reminder came on the radio, that I wanted to share with all of you. The song is a Christian worship song, and yet contains an important reminder that I think all people can benefit from. Here is the first verse, and the chorus:

One million reasons why, you shouldn't even try.
After all you're just one heart, a single candle in the dark.
And there are shadows here, feeding on your fears,
That you don't have what it takes - who are you to make a change?

But oh, oh, don't underestimate the God you follow.

Whatever you do, just don't look back.
Oh somebody needs the light you have.
Whatever you do, just don't lose heart.
Keep on pushing back the dark,
Keep on pushing back the dark.

What a beautiful reminder, huh? Even in the stress, the darkness of the world, even in times when you may feel like you don't matter, that you can't possibly contribute - I know I've felt that way, many a time - somebody needs the light you have.

So even when it feels like you can't take one more step; even when it feels like the "burnout" is so bad that you need to bathe in aloe vera to treat the heat... keep on pushing back the dark. Because somebody - and you may never know who, but somebody - needs your light. Somebody needs to see you "keep on keepin' on." You may never see the fruit of the seeds you plant each day, but isn't just the idea that you're planting a seed worthwhile? Isn't the picture of the darkness, with even one candle shining, the most hopeful thing you can imagine? Let your light keep shining, however you need to do that. Somebody needs your light. Keep on pushing back the dark.

(song: "Pushing Back the Dark" by Josh Wilson)

LeaderShape, Day Five: Living and Leading With Integrity

Note: This Spring Break, I served as a small group facilitator on LeaderShape, a six-day immersive leadership experience for college students. This was my first time working with a LeaderShape experience, so I wanted to record and process my reflections and learning here on my blog.
Previous LeaderShape Posts: Day Zero, Day One, Day Two, Day Three, Day Four

As the LeaderShape week winds to a close, the concepts that the facilitators work on with participants get more complicated. LeaderShape works on the principle of self -> group -> community development, and you can really see that trajectory through the themes of the days... the participants start by looking inward to discover who they are; they continue growth in groups as they learn to work together as a team; they end the week by looking inward AND outward simultaneously in order to better serve (and improve) the world around them. Day Five's theme - Living and Leading with Integrity - begins to ask participants to tie everything together. LeaderShape's mission includes the plan that "all lead with integrity," and on Day Five, participants and facilitators explore what that means.

Per the dictionary, integrity means "adherence to moral principles; soundness of character; honesty." To LeaderShape, integrity means values congruence - is what I believe in reflected in how I act? Or, am I "walking my talk"? Who do I want to be, and how do I "show up" to the world around me?

What a heavy, yet critically important concept to explore with college student participants. It's so hard to name your values, your TRUE values, at any age, but especially as a college student. Then, the challenge goes even further - are you acting out those values? Does your life reflect the things you believe in?

I've had many an occasion throughout my life so far when I've dealt with values congruence. Some of those situations have come out with a "win," and some of them, I'm sad to say, led to me making the choice that was best at the time rather than one that fit my values.

As a "win," one only needs to look to three short years ago, when I was finishing my first year as a graduate student in Florida State's Higher Education & Student Affairs program. My graduate assistantship was with the FSU Alumni Association, advising the Student Alumni Association group. As much as I was thankful for my job, and as much as I learned about alumni affairs and development, the values of the office - namely, a focus on relationships and development post-graduation (as opposed to during students' time in college) - did not mesh with my personal and professional values. As hard as it was, I decided (along with my supervisor, who was incredibly supportive) to look for other graduate assistantships that would better fit what I needed out of my time in graduate school. Thankfully, I ended up with an offer from the Student Activities Center, an office MUCH better suited to both my interests and to my values. This experience has proved incredibly important in my professional development - in order to be successful, I needed to know my values, and then I needed to realize when I was not "walking my talk"... and THEN I needed to be brave enough to take steps to live in more values congruence.

Of course, I don't always lead with integrity; I can be vulnerable enough to say so. Right now, for instance, in the first few years of my professional career, I am struggling with my value of self-care and with making that congruent with my lifestyle. You see, working as a new professional in higher education, the temptation (and expectation) exists to work hard and often, and to branch out into as many different pieces of the profession as you can. The culture of student affairs for grads and new professionals is often to make work your life, as opposed to just having it be a part of your life. (I have blogged about this expectation here.) And so, as much as I am aware of and AGAINST the idea of over-commitment... I am honestly over-committed right now. I work too much; I am bad at separating work from my personal life; I am not good at saying "no." And while I love the opportunities that are on my plate right now, I am exhausted, which is making me less effective at carrying out the duties that are expected of me. I am walking the path to burnout, something that many new professionals in higher education experience (leading to a 50% "dropout" rate within five years). I have identified my values, I have identified that I am not living in congruence... but this time, taking the steps to live with integrity is more challenging than I could have imagined. I keep saying I'll address it, but then... I don't. How, though, does this show up to my students and colleagues? What does it mean for me to tell my students to go home and not spend the night in the office, when I'm working 60-hour weeks? What does it mean for me to tell my friends that I miss them, but then have to cancel on plans because I'm "too busy"? I am not showing up as the person I want to be, and that's a problem I need to face, head-on. It won't be easy, nor will it be much fun, but for my own integrity - and sanity - it's something that I need to step up and address, before it's too late.

I'm sure you can think of areas in your own life where you've lived and lead with integrity, and where you may have fallen short. I think it's time that we celebrate where we are showing up as the person we want to be, and that, when we fall down and make mistakes, we say "How fascinating!" and try again. Learning to live with integrity, to "walk my talk," is a challenge that won't be easy, but it is one that is vital to make me be the person (and leader) that I want to be. It is a challenge that will test my mettle, that may break me down more than once, but one that is worth it, and one that I want to undertake - and meet - each day for the rest of my life.

Day Five of LeaderShape served as a wake-up call for me to live with more integrity. Where are places in your life where you can better practice "walking your talk"? Where is it time for you to step up, say "This isn't me," and take steps to show up as the person who you want to be?

How Does the Defendant Plead?

Thanks to my older brother, I've been watching "one of the greatest" (it's pretty darn great) shows to ever be on television: "The Wire." (If you have HBOGo, I highly recommend a watch. But be warned, it's addicting!) One of my very favorite characters on the show is Rhonda Pearlman, an Assistant State's Attorney for Maryland. She is tough, she is sassy, and she is an amazingly strong female character on a largely male-dominated show.

The Queen, Rhonda Pearlman

I bring up Ronnie today because I've been thinking a lot this morning about the idea of guilt. Or, as dictionary.com puts it, "a feeling of responsibility or remorse for some offense, wrong, crime, etc., whether real or imagined."

As I've gotten older, I've dealt more and more with guilt in relation to how I spend my time. Whenever I sleep in, as I did this morning (11 a.m., yeesh!), I feel guilty that I've wasted half my day. Whenever I decide to spend the day at home, I feel guilty that I'm missing time with friends. Whenever I want to binge-watch "The Wire," I feel guilty that I could be spending my time in better pursuits. But where does this guilt come from? Why am I feeling remorseful for the above actions? In the spirit of my #OneWord2014, simplicity, I wanted to think about this today.

As I've been reflecting, I often hold myself to ridiculously high standards of perfection in many areas of my life, and these standards are taking their toll. Whenever I make a mistake, I berate myself for it, much longer than anyone else would. Whenever I feel irresponsible--for example, sleeping in half a day, or spending my time binge-watching a TV show instead of doing other, more "responsible" things--I spend my time wrapped in anxiety that I'm not getting things done instead of enjoying leisure time. My personal standards of "adulthood," of "responsibility," have started to take their toll on my mental wellness. So instead of enjoying my recharging time on a Saturday (as an introvert, I NEED time to recharge by myself), I spend half the day laying around and the other half scolding myself for being so lazy. This is NOT healthy. I know I need the quiet time, the recharge time. So why not simply let myself be? Why not let my weekends be a simple time of rest, of catching up on TV shows that I like? I mean, clearly, if I'm sleeping 'til 11 a.m., my body needs the rest. So why do I get so down on myself for enjoying time off? Life does not CONSTANTLY have to be about going, doing, creating, achieving. Sometimes, we all need some well-deserved simple time to breathe.

Don't get me wrong--I don't want to and don't plan to use my OneWord as an excuse to become a lazy bum. Living my life more in more simplicity in 2014 does not mean that I'm going to slack off in my every day life, or cut corners because it's easier. In fact, a huge part of my plan for this year is to create good habits for taking care of myself and for getting things done.

Even so, I've realized that I hold myself to perfection and that standard is creating unnecessary anxiety, worry, and guilt in my life, so this year needs to be spent in pursuit of simplicity--what is natural, what is easy to understand and to deal with,  what is sincere--and learning to let myself off the hook in order to be able to breathe, exist, just LIVE. I want to pursue a natural and straightforward life, not one full of stress.

So instead of going all Ronnie Pearlman on myself--and believe me, that woman KNOWS how to prosecute a criminal--I'm going to negotiate a deal. I'm going to plead "not guilty" for enjoying time to rest, to think, to just enjoy a TV show. I'm going to try to build a habit of NOT persecuting myself for needing down-time. I'm also going to multitask; to put in a load of laundry as a new episode of "The Wire" is starting, to make my bed and do a little cleaning before I get to turn on the TV, to pause in midafternoon for a grocery store run instead of staying inside all day.

In the spirit of simplicity, I'm going to try to live 2014 with less worry, less anxiety, and less guilt. Life is hard enough already; why try to make it harder? As "The Wire's" brilliant Detective Bunk says, "Every man got to have a code." My code for this year is to allow myself room to BREATHE, and to not punish myself for all those silly imagined offenses of irresponsibility.

How are you going to let yourself plead "not guilty" more this year? What are the negotiations you make in order to enjoy your balance time, your "me-time"?

"Squeezing the Sponge"

Good morning! And a good Wednesday morning it is, although rather hot and humid here in Tallahassee ( I should expect nothing less by now!).

Summer has come as usual with its hot days, weekends by the pool, grilling cookouts, and baseball games in the dusk (I. Love. Summer.), but this particular summer has also afforded me with one of the most full work schedules I've ever had. Currently, Florida State is in the midst of its Orientation for the Class of 2015, and as the graduate assistant for the Student Alumni Association, one of the largest student organizations on campus, summer Orientation is our prime membership recruitment time. So for the past four weeks and the next two, I'm outside with my students in the afternoon, advertising SAA and asking passers-by to take a picture with our cutouts of the Garnet and Gold Glitter Guys, and then in the evenings I am helping welcome parents to FSU by hosting receptions out at our Alumni Association. So from 1pm to 10pm (with a break for dinner), I'm on the go, in the heat, working and working and working some more.

This work is enjoyable, for SURE. It's amazing to be reminded of the zeal of the incoming freshmen and other students who are so excited and apprehensive to begin their college careers (and strange to realize it's been five years since I was doing the same thing!). I love helping answer parents' questions and helping them navigate the confusing world that is being a parent of a college student. Most of all, I love the additional time with my students over the summer, when we can relax a lot of the rigidity that the school year holds, develop stronger relationships as friends and as GA to students, and enjoy publicizing our organization to new students.

However, this busy summer schedule also holds a deep challenge for me, one that I must work very hard to overcome every day. You see, my number one StrengthsQuest strength is Empathy, or the ability to be able to see others' perspectives and really put myself in their shoes. This strength has been SUCH a blessing over the years, as it has enabled me to work better in group settings, to get to know new friends and colleagues, and to serve as a mediator between friends and in the workplace. Even so, those of you who are familiar with StrengthsQuest also know that all strengths have a "shadow side," or a challenging side to them. Even if you aren't familiar with StrengthsQuest, you have probably realized that some of your greatest personality and work strengths can double as your greatest challenges as well (for example, motivation can turn into pushing others; friendliness can turn into people-pleasing; adaptation can turn into indecisiveness). For me, empathy holds a great danger: compassion fatigue.

As I said, my Empathy enables me to put myself wholly in others' shoes; to really understand how they think and how that affects their actions, and then to convey that to others. However, as I pour myself into others (and let them pour themselves into me), I become a combination lighting rod and sponge for emotion. That's the danger in empathy--with understanding of others comes, well, an empathy for how they feel; a true knowledge of what's in their mind and heart. And while I love being able to convey emotion to others and enable understanding, soaking up emotions all day gets--as you can imagine--EXHAUSTING. When I get home, although I've enjoyed my day, my mind (my sponge, if you will) is FULL of others' happinesses, joys, sadnesses, anxieties, stresses, and every other emotion they exude throughout the day.

Don't get me wrong; I love having the strength of empathy. Many times, this skill has enabled me to build bridges where none existed and to strengthen relationships, both professional and personal. It's given me insight into people that I thought I could never understand, and a true compassion for every human being around me. However, as I said, the danger in compassion is what many in this profession have encountered--compassion fatigue, the danger of being so full of others' emotions that you become numb and feel no longer. Many days, my sponge gets full, and I'm "plumb tuckered out."

So how do I combat this fatigue? I take part in what Dr. Adrienne Frame, Director of Housing here at FSU, calls "squeezing the sponge." When my brain, my heart--my "sponge"--gets too full, I have to take time for myself, to "wring it out," to process and think (or sometimes not think at all!), and to come back to work and life the next day renewed and ready for more interactions, sponge empty and ready for more.

Recently, this "sponge-squeezing time" has taken the form of me becoming a SERIOUS homebody. It's not that I don't enjoy hanging out with my friends; I most definitely do! But on weekends, when I FINALLY have time to spend on myself, I like to be by myself. Whether that takes the form of reading a book, or catching up with my favorite television shows, or watching movies, or SLEEPING, I enjoy "me-time" to focus on myself and to engage in that self-care that is oh so important in life.

And you know what? I refuse to feel guilty for taking care of myself. Everyone needs sponge-squeezing time, and the most important thing is to know WHEN you need it and to know HOW you can do it.

So think about it. How do you squeeze your sponge? What refreshes you and renews you for a new day? And how do you encourage those around you to take their own time to renew themselves?

Until next time, readers, I hope your summer days are bright and your summer nights are cool (oh, those summer nights.). :)

Standing still, moving forward

Good morning, faithful followers! Last time we met, I was extolling the virtues of D-I-Y and preparing for the challenges of my current growth spurt.

February continues to be both an exciting and challenging month for me and for many students, grads, and professionals I know. The semester is in full swing, organizations are kicking back in gear, expectations are high, and a solid routine has been established.

Well, that last one is a little bit questionable, for me, at least. I always seem to start each semester thinking, “Oh, I have time to get my schedule settled, then I’ll fix a time to do homework, to work out, and to spend regular time with friends. And sleep.” Then, lo and behold, it’s the middle of February, and I still haven’t found a good time to get to the gym (is there ever a good time to get to the gym?), and I’m fluctuating between 11 hours of sleep a night on (free) weekends and 5 hours per night during the week. (ouch.) I try to plan for the rest of the semester, trying to establish a routine that’ll help me be successful, and it seems like I blink and the semester is over.

This feeling of balancing the present with the future is something that I’ve been reflecting on in many aspects of my life recently. Just like the title of this post, often I feel like I’m standing still, looking to move forward, and then all of a sudden it’s the future…and I missed the present.

A few of my best friends in my grad program and I were recently at a professional conference, listening to a wonderful keynote speech by a hero of our student affairs field (shoutout to Dr. Marcia Baxter Magolda!), and she set aside time during her speech for us to talk in groups about our self-authorship (the concept of listening to and trusting one’s inner voice) and our students’ paths to self-authorship, and how we can help each other along the way. Well, let me tell you, reflection is a FAVORITE pastime of us student affairs grads, so my friends and I got into some deep conversations in the 5-minute discussion times allotted to us.

One of the pieces of our conversation and reflection stands out to me as I think back, and really relates to my personal feelings about the subject of this post, standing still and moving forward. As first-year students in a two-year Master’s degree program, it seems like we have a LOT to learn in a SHORT amount of time. Our good friends the second-years are already embarking upon their job searches, trying to secure various spots as professionals in our field, and we first-years often get a little caught up thinking about—and worrying about—that future. Job searching A YEAR AWAY is a little too close for comfort, and a few of us first-years have begun to consider what our areas of interest within our field are, where we might want to work, and more, and trying to make choices based upon those hopes and desires.

However, as my friends and I were reflecting on this seemingly imminent future, we paused for a moment. We realized we were getting caught up in a future that is a year away, and losing sight of the amazing learning, growing, and sharing opportunities we have RIGHT NOW.

This question—how do I balance preparing for the future with living in and enjoying the present?—is starting to pervade into other areas of my life, as I mentioned before. Even the simplest thing, such as me counting down to (what I like to call) my triumphant return visit to my undergrad in two weeks, is me focusing on the FUTURE and pushing through the PRESENT. Granted, I’ve been looking forward to this trip for several months, but isn’t that the problem? Because—and here’s the tough question—what happens when it’s over?

Think on that a minute. Sometimes, we spend so much time looking forward to and preparing for the future, that

we forget to stop,

look around,

smell some roses,

love some people,

and enjoy the moment.

That’s my new goal for this semester (I don’t want to look more forward than that!): to REALLY and truly take time to appreciate—that’s right, I said appreciate—every. single. moment, good OR BAD.

So while I’m appreciating the moment, soaking it in, and truly taking time to be thankful for everything around me, I encourage you to do the same.