Why buy the cow?

This blog post is inspired by this past week's #SAchat, which jumped on the oft-thought-taboo topic of leaving student affairs and higher education, but still utilizing student affairs skills. Or, as I'd like to call it, "taking your talents to South Beach" (and yes, some Lebron-leaving-Cleveland comparisons DID get thrown into the chat!).

As the chat went on, a question came up on whether Student Affairs preparatory programs (especially master's programs) should expose their students to opportunities outside the profession. Some participants said "No way, Jose" - this isn't the job of student affairs prep programs! Why would you go and get a student affairs degree unless you KNEW you wanted to do student affairs?? Others said, "Huh. That could be a good idea" - considering how wide and varied the field of higher education actually is, perhaps HESA programs should offer more exposure beyond just student affairs!

I want to pause this blog post here, and take a moment to tell you a story of a young junior in college. Bright-eyed and optimistic, this young lady double-majored in communication and English, with no real purpose in doing either, other than she loved reading and writing, and her parents and mentors said that communication would be a "really useful" degree (side note: it totally was.Yes, this person is me. DARN IT, I didn't mean to reveal that 'til later!). ANYWAY, when asked what I wanted to do after graduation, I would immediately panic. My first instinct has always been to be a teacher; after taking communication classes, I would often say something like "human resources" or another vague corporate-related title. But I had no real knowledge of what I wanted to do after graduation. In college, though, I had an incredible life outside the classroom - I was deeply involved in several student organizations, and besides just giving me some of the best friends I've made in life, these organizations also gave me a purpose for my time in school. So, imagine my SHOCK when one of my advisors (shout-out to you, Sonja!) told me the ultimate secret - what she did, as our organization's advisor, was a FULL-TIME JOB. She went to SCHOOL for it, and got a DEGREE! I was hooked. You mean, I thought, that I would get to work with college students... and stay in college... and plan programs... FOREVER? You can see the appeal, I'm sure. So my senior year, I applied to graduate schools, and by the end of the process I was offered a graduate assistantship at Florida State University.

The rest is not quite history. You see, there were SEVERAL times in graduate school when I questioned what I was doing, and whether or not student affairs was the right profession for me. I don't blame anyone for this - I consciously chose to pursue my master's degree with the level of experience I had as an undergrad. Part of this was because I was convinced that student affairs was the right path for me. I'll be honest, another part was that I didn't have any OTHER plans, and getting a "big-kid job" absolutely terrified me, so graduate school sounded pretty spectacular at the time. The economy was awful, so why not put off the job search for two more years? Not the best motivation, I know, but coupled with my deep-seeded interest in what I knew of higher education, it was enough to get me to graduate school.

Four years later, I still have moments where I question if this is the right profession for me. I now know that that's a completely normal question, one often asked by colleagues in this profession as well as many others. Here's what I wonder, though - could my initial lack of knowledge of the field been addressed before I went to graduate school?  While my mentors and advisors did their absolute best (and beyond) to get me ready for student affairs, was there another step I could have taken for me to test out whether I really wanted to go into higher education? Or, in other words, could I have tried the milk before I bought the whole cow?

(Make sure to read the fine print before you make that bovine purchase!)

As I reflect on this question, I think about other graduate and professional prep programs, like law school or medical school. I've often heard my friends who attended law school say, "You either love or you hate law school. There's no happy medium, there's no in between." The question is, though, how will you know if you love it before you spend hundreds of thousands of dollars on that J.D.? Same with medical school - you may not actually want to be a doctor, but how will you know that until you've spent hundreds of hours studying for the MCAT and, again, hundreds of thousands of dollars on getting your M.D.? How are we giving young people the opportunity to try out the "behind the scenes" of different professions before we ask them to commit to furthering their education? Is there a better way?

My good friend Amma Marfo has blogged about this question before, and posed the answer that perhaps a gap year after undergrad is something that the U.S. (and especially higher education) should culturally consider adopting in order to afford graduates the time to experience the profession for themselves. Similarly, Tim St. John suggests that in order to "grow the profession," we should actually be giving students a more realistic look at "what's behind the curtain" rather than selling that our work is all pizza, icebreakers, and rainbows (as so many like to stereotype student affairs).

Some opportunities like this already exist: NASPA offers an Undergraduate Fellows Program to provide undergrads an opportunity to practice before graduate school. Many institutions offer "create your own" internship experiences for undergrads; my office here at IU has begun what we hope will be a long-standing undergrad summer intern program (look for posts to come about this cool opportunity!). My alma mater, Texas A&M, actually dedicates a one-year, full-time professional position with Class Councils to anyone who wants to "try out" student affairs, no master's degree required.

If these offices, organizations, and institutions have recognized the importance of giving undergraduates the opportunity of a "trial period" before asking them to buy the proverbial cow, why can't the whole profession? Why can't we, as higher education and student affairs professionals, make a commitment to better informing those interested in our work by giving them opportunities to practice? After all, ours is a profession that prides itself on tying what we learn in the classroom to the practical experiences that we have.

To bring this back to the #SAchat discussion, what I'm proposing is that, instead of stigmatizing those who leave the profession as "quitters," instead of blaming the 60% of new professionals who burn out and drop out within 5 years for not managing work-life balance better, let's as a profession take on the responsibility of giving interested parties a better understanding of what our work actually entails before requiring them to make a commitment to it. Let's offer more undergraduate internships and entry-level (meaning no master's required) jobs so that we can openly show "what's behind the curtain" to interested parties rather than requiring that you buy the cow before you taste the milk. After all, as a profession deeply concerned with transparency and authenticity, wouldn't it behoove us to practice as we preach and to be more transparent with what student affairs and higher education actually entail?

At the end of the day, I think these opportunities for pre-graduate-degree-practice would only be a win. Not only would those who commit to graduate school have a MUCH better mental picture of the commitment they are undertaking, but they would truly feel "pulled to something they love," as Amma so eloquently wrote in another blog post (as opposed to realizing 5 years down the road that student affairs just ISN'T for them). Even more, rather than wondering which of our fresh-out-of-grad-school new professionals will be part of the 60% to burn out in 5 years, supervisors and mangers in the field would have a crop of pro's who not only made the conscious commitment to go into student affairs, but who also have a year or more of professional experience prior to graduate school, as well as any assistantship experience gained during graduate programs.

In the end, I don't think it's a bad thing in any way, shape, or form to leave student affairs. I don't think it should be stigmatized, nor do I think it should be a taboo subject. Rather, I encourage us as a field to consider ways to address the cause before the symptoms start, and give interested parties a taste of the amazing things that we get to do as student affairs professionals before we ask them to make the graduate school commitment.

LeaderShape, Day Five: Living and Leading With Integrity

Note: This Spring Break, I served as a small group facilitator on LeaderShape, a six-day immersive leadership experience for college students. This was my first time working with a LeaderShape experience, so I wanted to record and process my reflections and learning here on my blog.
Previous LeaderShape Posts: Day Zero, Day One, Day Two, Day Three, Day Four

As the LeaderShape week winds to a close, the concepts that the facilitators work on with participants get more complicated. LeaderShape works on the principle of self -> group -> community development, and you can really see that trajectory through the themes of the days... the participants start by looking inward to discover who they are; they continue growth in groups as they learn to work together as a team; they end the week by looking inward AND outward simultaneously in order to better serve (and improve) the world around them. Day Five's theme - Living and Leading with Integrity - begins to ask participants to tie everything together. LeaderShape's mission includes the plan that "all lead with integrity," and on Day Five, participants and facilitators explore what that means.

Per the dictionary, integrity means "adherence to moral principles; soundness of character; honesty." To LeaderShape, integrity means values congruence - is what I believe in reflected in how I act? Or, am I "walking my talk"? Who do I want to be, and how do I "show up" to the world around me?

What a heavy, yet critically important concept to explore with college student participants. It's so hard to name your values, your TRUE values, at any age, but especially as a college student. Then, the challenge goes even further - are you acting out those values? Does your life reflect the things you believe in?

I've had many an occasion throughout my life so far when I've dealt with values congruence. Some of those situations have come out with a "win," and some of them, I'm sad to say, led to me making the choice that was best at the time rather than one that fit my values.

As a "win," one only needs to look to three short years ago, when I was finishing my first year as a graduate student in Florida State's Higher Education & Student Affairs program. My graduate assistantship was with the FSU Alumni Association, advising the Student Alumni Association group. As much as I was thankful for my job, and as much as I learned about alumni affairs and development, the values of the office - namely, a focus on relationships and development post-graduation (as opposed to during students' time in college) - did not mesh with my personal and professional values. As hard as it was, I decided (along with my supervisor, who was incredibly supportive) to look for other graduate assistantships that would better fit what I needed out of my time in graduate school. Thankfully, I ended up with an offer from the Student Activities Center, an office MUCH better suited to both my interests and to my values. This experience has proved incredibly important in my professional development - in order to be successful, I needed to know my values, and then I needed to realize when I was not "walking my talk"... and THEN I needed to be brave enough to take steps to live in more values congruence.

Of course, I don't always lead with integrity; I can be vulnerable enough to say so. Right now, for instance, in the first few years of my professional career, I am struggling with my value of self-care and with making that congruent with my lifestyle. You see, working as a new professional in higher education, the temptation (and expectation) exists to work hard and often, and to branch out into as many different pieces of the profession as you can. The culture of student affairs for grads and new professionals is often to make work your life, as opposed to just having it be a part of your life. (I have blogged about this expectation here.) And so, as much as I am aware of and AGAINST the idea of over-commitment... I am honestly over-committed right now. I work too much; I am bad at separating work from my personal life; I am not good at saying "no." And while I love the opportunities that are on my plate right now, I am exhausted, which is making me less effective at carrying out the duties that are expected of me. I am walking the path to burnout, something that many new professionals in higher education experience (leading to a 50% "dropout" rate within five years). I have identified my values, I have identified that I am not living in congruence... but this time, taking the steps to live with integrity is more challenging than I could have imagined. I keep saying I'll address it, but then... I don't. How, though, does this show up to my students and colleagues? What does it mean for me to tell my students to go home and not spend the night in the office, when I'm working 60-hour weeks? What does it mean for me to tell my friends that I miss them, but then have to cancel on plans because I'm "too busy"? I am not showing up as the person I want to be, and that's a problem I need to face, head-on. It won't be easy, nor will it be much fun, but for my own integrity - and sanity - it's something that I need to step up and address, before it's too late.

I'm sure you can think of areas in your own life where you've lived and lead with integrity, and where you may have fallen short. I think it's time that we celebrate where we are showing up as the person we want to be, and that, when we fall down and make mistakes, we say "How fascinating!" and try again. Learning to live with integrity, to "walk my talk," is a challenge that won't be easy, but it is one that is vital to make me be the person (and leader) that I want to be. It is a challenge that will test my mettle, that may break me down more than once, but one that is worth it, and one that I want to undertake - and meet - each day for the rest of my life.

Day Five of LeaderShape served as a wake-up call for me to live with more integrity. Where are places in your life where you can better practice "walking your talk"? Where is it time for you to step up, say "This isn't me," and take steps to show up as the person who you want to be?

LeaderShape, Day Four: Bringing Vision to Reality

Note: This Spring Break, I served as a small group facilitator on LeaderShape, a six-day immersive leadership experience for college students. This was my first time working with a LeaderShape experience, so I wanted to record and process my reflections and learning here on my blog.
Previous LeaderShape Posts: Day Zero, Day One, Day Two, Day Three

Halfway through the week of LeaderShape, it's easy to feel exhausted. Not only are the days long - breakfast begins at 7:45 a.m. and the last piece of the day usually ends between 10 and 11 p.m., with faculty meetings after - but the experience is emotionally exhausting (in the best way possible). Participants are delving deeply into who they are, how they operate, and what drives them. LeaderShape is most definitely what many people call a "mountaintop experience" - the week feels like a bubble in which all participants grow and are encouraged, and then going back to the real world after can feel like a drag and a half.

That's why Day Four, "Bringing Vision to Reality," exists. On this day, not only do participants set some tangible goals and action plans to literally bring their LeaderShape vision to life, but they also get a few "reality-checks" throughout the day (the most meaningful of these is the activity Star Power, which happens at the end of the day... I won't go into detail about this activity, but if you've been through it, you know how wrenching and gut-checking it can be). You see, life is not as flowery and passionate and happy-go-lucky as LeaderShape can make it seem at times, and it's important that participants get a real and visceral reminder that their job is to be leaders in a world that is often unjust, harsh, and is imperfect. 

Totally a downer, right? Well, not entirely. Part of this message about reality is couched in a wonderful video called Radiating Possibility, which is about the conductor of the Boston Philharmonic, Ben Zander. Zander is also a motivational speaker, and his messages about the world are both positive and powerful. (Here's a TED Talk from Zander if you want to get a picture of both the man and the message!)

Zander makes five points in his video, but the one I most remember and want to enact in my life is point #2: your life will be infinitely better if you see mistakes as "fascinating."

Isn't that a wonderful adage?

The world is NOT perfect, nor are we as human beings (and ESPECIALLY not as leaders). We're not going to make the right choices all the time; mistakes are inevitable. However, what if we viewed mistakes as opportunities to learn and grow, rather than life- (or career-) ending moments? What if, instead of blaming ourselves (or others) when mistakes happen, we instead say, "How fascinating!"

I am often a self-bully when it comes to making mistakes (see a blog post about my 2013 wake-up call here). I hold myself to a crazy-high standard of perfection, don't ask for help, and then panic when things go wrong. It's not a healthy way to live, nor is it productive. However, I am MILES better at handling mistakes than I used to be. My mom can attest to this - there would be moments when I would send her a LONG, self-defeatist email talking about how my life was over when I made a mistake. Thankfully, I am not quite at the same self-flagellant level as when I was a sophomore in college, but I still have a long way to go when it comes to handling my own imperfections.

Then, Mr. Zander comes along, with his suggestion to say, "How fascinating!" when something goes wrong instead of to blame or shame. What a beautiful message. Just think - how much more of an empathetic, understanding place would the world be if we were all able to view our mistakes (and others') as fascinating, rather than terrible?

Brene Brown, who I've talked about before, is a wonderful academic, author, and I recently had the INCREDIBLE opportunity to see her as the closing keynote speaker at a convention (and I plan to do a blogging series after I'm done with LeaderShape about her messages!). One of her main messages to her audience is to live a life of vulnerability, to "show up, be seen, [and] be loved." I think this ties deeply into seeing our mistakes as fascinating - rather than giving in to shame, let's own up to who we are and what we do; rather than dwelling in negativity, let's learn what we can from each day and move forward knowing that, not only will we try again next time, but that we are not the only ones making mistakes.

I leave you with a wonderful quote from Theodore Roosevelt, which inspired Brene Brown's book Daring Greatly (shared in a tweet by my good friend Valerie):

Love love the Theodore Roosevelt quote @BreneBrown #ACPA14 pic.twitter.com/3fyYxD4veM
— Valerie Heruska (@ValerieHeruska) April 2, 2014

Today, I challenge you: 

Will you see your mistakes as fascinating opportunities for you to grow?

Will you dare greatly, regardless of failure (or success)? 

LeaderShape, Day Three: Challenging What Is, Looking to What Could Be

Note: This Spring Break, I served as a small group facilitator on LeaderShape, a six-day immersive leadership experience for college students. This was my first time working with a LeaderShape experience, so I wanted to record and process my reflections and learning here on my blog.
Previous LeaderShape Posts: Day Zero, Day One, Day Two

One of the most powerful pieces of the LeaderShape experience is that of the vision. All participants of LeaderShape take time during Day Three to create a vision of "the kind of world they want to see." When creating a vision, you start with two prompts: 

1. What do I care about? (my passion[s])

2. What do I want to create? (the future)

Then, you think about this question: 

"From what I care about, what would I want if I could invent a bold, new future?"

What a powerful experience for the college student participants that are on the retreat... and what a powerful experience for me as a facilitator. Not only was I privileged to hear the kinds of futures that the participants wanted to create - sustainable, filled with equality of all kinds, kind, happy, just - but I had the chance to reflect on MY vision, the kind of world that I would want to see.

The vision I created on LeaderShape was intensely personal to me (as many/most visions are). My passions include leadership, supporting and encouraging young women (especially college-aged, but not limited to), and positivity. If I could create a bold, new future where these passions were a part of everyday life, every young woman would have access to a role model mentor and a network of peers to support her in her aspirations. (Of course, I would love it if EVERY young person, regardless of gender, had access to this, but for the purposes of my passion and vision I wanted to focus on creating female leadership and support networks.)

Think about that future for a moment. Women are often limited by gender, whether it is because of societal assumptions about women, or social mores that apply to women, or - worst of all - because of being blocked out by other women. Female bullying and competition is a real problem (I have experienced it myself; that's a long story for a different time), but imagine a world where, instead of feeling like they have to compete for resources (whatever those are), young women are supported through their aspirations to achieve whatever they want to achieve. Whether she wanted to be a mother, dancer, astronaut, physicist, professor, singer, actor, entrepreneur, whatever; imagine the power in a young woman being told YES, especially by the other women in her life.

This is a future that I want to see. It's not the world that is, but it is the world that could be. And it's my job, as a leader in everyday life, to try to create that world, step by step. How am I supporting the women in my life, especially the young women with whom I work? How am I affirming them, saying "YES" to who they are and who they want to be? 

I want to end with this brilliant quote from Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie's TEDxEuston speech, which was sampled in the brilliant Beyonce's "***Flawless":

We teach girls to shrink themselves, to make themselves smaller. We say to girls: "You can have ambition, but not too much; you should aim to be successful, but not too successful, otherwise you will threaten the man."

A challenge to the women reading this - instead of teaching the women in your life to shrink, how are you affirming your sisters? How are we working together to create this bright, bold future where our young people are told "YES"?  

LeaderShape, Day Two: The Value of One, the Power of All

Note: This Spring Break, I served as a small group facilitator on LeaderShape, a six-day immersive leadership experience for college students. This was my first time working with a LeaderShape experience, so I wanted to record and process my reflections and learning here on my blog.

LeaderShape makes a point to set a theme for each day of its Institute, and these themes all build upon one another and on the learning of the participants. Day One's theme is Building Community (see my blog post on Day One here, and on our faculty training on Day Zero here), and Day Two's theme is "The Value of One, the Power of All."

This is one of the most impactful themes of the LeaderShape experience for me. It ties nicely into the basis of my personal professional philosophy: I believe that every individual has inherent value. No matter where you come from, no matter your background, no matter what you do or what you look like, you matter. This is an important thought that I try to impress upon the college students I work with (and on my colleagues, friends, family members, etc.) - every person matters. Even if you don't like someone, even if you disagree with another person's beliefs or worldview, every person matters. 

But how do we balance that with building community? How can we possibly jibe the two concepts of individual self-worth and the larger importance of community as a whole?

Well, imagine a world where every person believes that they matter. Imagine a world where self-esteem is no longer an issue; where every young child is told from the moment they're born that they are valuable. Imagine how much kinder people would be if they weren't competing for attention or to have their voice heard, because they already knew that their perspective was valuable.

Even more than that, imagine a world where every person not only knew that THEY mattered, but also knew that every person on this planet matters. Your story is just one piece of the larger whole of life, and you are inextricably tied into every other life on this planet. 

Do you have chills thinking about that? I certainly do. 

And so, thinking back on Day Two of LeaderShape, I'm ecstatic that we spent a day reminding all our participants that they matter (on a one-to-one basis), and that THEY matter (as a collective whole). Despite the discriminations and hurtful words of their past, despite the pain of their upbringing and of growing up, despite every struggle that feels like it weighs on them every day, they matter.

Having these conversations reminded me that this concept - "the value of one, the power of all" - is a part of my personal philosophy, and that I want to enact more and more each day. How am I treating myself with kindness, because I matter? How am I treating others with kindness, to show them that THEY matter? 

Thank you, LeaderShape, for holding me accountable to this belief, and for giving us the chance to build into these participants that they are valuable, and together they are powerful.

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others." - Marianne Williamson

LeaderShape, Day One: Building Community

Note: This Spring Break, I served as a small group facilitator on LeaderShape, a six-day immersive leadership experience for college students. This was my first time working with a LeaderShape experience, so I wanted to record and process my reflections and learning here on my blog.

LeaderShape is BIG about its verbiage; I'm learning a whole new lens and language this week as I'm facilitating this awesome experience. Day Zero was a faculty training day, and we (as a team of colleagues) worked on both understanding the curriculum so we can share it with our participants and on setting goals to stretch ourselves for the week. (See my Day Zero post here.)

Day One, the day that our student participants arrive, is a day that is all about Building Community. This is practiced in several ways - we share the mission of LeaderShape with our participants so they're all on the same page with us; we do TONS of icebreakers and teambuilders so we can start getting to know the whole LeaderShape community; and we break into our Family Clusters for the first time.

The Family Cluster (a.k.a. a small breakout group) are the discussion group that the participants work with for the duration of the Institute. Clusters can run anywhere from 8-15 people, and the groups serve as sounding boards, support networks, and a tight-knit group of people with whom the participants can interact, learn, and grow.

I am absolutely in awe of my family cluster. Freshmen through fifth-year seniors; domestic and international students; students who are privileged and students who have overcome (and are still overcoming) INSANE life obstacles... I've got the whole gamut. I won't go into detail about the things they already shared with me on NIGHT ONE, but I do want to applaud their bravery, authenticity, and vulnerability. These people went DEEP with me and with each other, and I don't think I can thank them enough for sharing their stories with me. I cannot WAIT to see where we are on Day Six versus Day One (although I am, of course, trying to live in the moment!), and I cannot wait to continue to learn from these amazing students.

My Cluster chose the name "Divergent" as our Family name, after the bestselling book/just-released film. For those of you who are unaware, Divergent is about a young woman who makes life choices centered around the discovery that she is more than who her society told her she is. That sums up my Cluster to a "T" - despite their backgrounds; despite the world trying to beat them down, each day they are trying to choose to be more than who they seem to be. 

LeaderShape is going to be a pretty special experience.

LeaderShape, Day Zero: Be present.

Note: This Spring Break, I am serving as a small group facilitator on LeaderShape, a six-day immersive leadership experience for college students. This is my first time working with a LeaderShape experience, so I want to record and process my reflections and learning here on my blog.

This semester has been a whirlwind so far, as spring semesters always are - my students that I work with on the Union Board turn over in January, so that month is spent meeting and beginning to train those students. February is full of more training, student programming, and IU's higher education & student affairs program (from which my office gets its graduate assistants) interviews. March is Spring Break and conference season, leading into April, which is full of the Little 500 races at IU, and then... boom. Finals week and summer. As I've gotten older, life has moved faster and faster, and spring semesters are especially NOT the exception to that rule. I've had to consciously practice taking time to stop and smell the roses, which is not something that I'm naturally good at. I like to be concerned about the future and where I'm going, instead of being present where I am.

This year, I have the opportunity to be a small-group facilitator on IU's LeaderShape Institute, a six-day immersive leadership retreat that encourages college students to work toward creating a thriving, just world; that teaches them that everyone is a leader regardless of position; and that gets all its participants to create a vision and action plan for the kind of future they would want to see.

Accompanying all of this are a lot of truisms that play into the LeaderShape experience. It's an immersive, "mountain-top" experience that gets participants to examine themselves deeply and ultimately ask the question, "Who do I want to be?" As someone who has a LOT of experience with immersive retreats, I love this format, but I also dread it. My natural tendency, especially in a facilitator position, is not to "stop and smell the roses" as I said above. I like to know what's next; I like to be self-assured in the material I'm covering; I like to step back from throwing myself into the experience in order to allow the people for whom I'm facilitating to have a more immersive experience themselves. But LeaderShape is NOT the kind of experience that allows that, and that's what I had to learn on Day Zero (faculty/facilitator training day).

One of LeaderShape's most-used truism is to "Trust the Process." Time and time again in my life, I've had to do that - with my graduate school search, with switching graduate assistantships, with my job search, with transitioning into being a young professional... and yet I never quite let it click for me until after it's all over. I worry and I stress, and I look to what's next instead of what's happening in that moment... and then I miss some absolutely critical, meaningful, and magical moments.

So that's one of my biggest challenges to myself this week (or, as LeaderShape calls it, a "GAG"- Going Against my Grain) - to live in the moment; to not stress about what's next but rather to be present in the here and now. In working with the participants from Day One through Day Six and beyond, I don't want to stress or to worry, but rather to experience this wonderful, reflective, challenging retreat alongside them.

I look to my fellow faculty members, and even my own small group (shoutout to you, Divergent!) to hold me accountable to this GAG, because I know it's going to be a challenge. But LeaderShape is about stretching yourself to allow for what could be... and the future is a bright one.

Musings on an October Day

Sometimes, one gets the urge to write, and so one must indulge oneself, no matter if one's thoughts are cohesive. (One also occasionally sounds like the Queen of England. We are not amused.)

~

It's FINALLY feeling like fall in Indiana, and Mother Nature isn't the only one dealing with changes. It seems as if everything is in flux right now, but not necessarily in a bad way. I've made a few life changes on my own account for which I'm VERY proud of myself:

FIRST: I started taking a modern dance class once a week. It is the day when I leave work at 5 p.m. like normal people do, and it is the day when I pretend to be Jody Sawyer from Center Stage and just dance my little heart out (regardless of my feet!).

SECOND: I was invited, accepted, and initiated into Gamma Phi Beta sorority as an alumna initiate, and I couldn't be happier about my new sisterhood. I am thrilled to join a long history of women who believe in inspiring "the highest type of womanhood," and I am already so impressed by the alumnae and undergrads that I've met who are now my sisters. I can't wait to get more involved with the chapter here at IU, and to get to fully experience being a Greek!

~

Work continues apace. I am in the midst of my second year as a professional at IU, and my fourth year (SO weird to think about) in a student affairs role as a para/professional. On the one hand, there are moments when I am 1000% confident in who I am as a colleague and advisor; I relish the times when I (finally) know an answer to a student's question or when I am able to provide historic or institutionally contextual perspective to a discussion. I'm expanding my network and deepening my friendships on campus, and I'm FINALLY feeling like a Bloomington "townie." On the other hand, and I have been assured that I am NOT alone in this, there are moments when the dreaded "impostor syndrome" still plagues me, and when I feel like I have been working at this job for a little over a month instead of a little over a year. Thankfully, I have a supportive supervisor and encouraging colleagues, and so I strive to make it through each week a little wiser and a little more equipped professionally.

~

Nerd Alert: the GREAT news is that I'm getting the chance to take part in some awesome professional development opportunities this fall - not only is IU hosting this year's Indiana Student Affairs Association Drive-In Conference (yay day-long pro.dev.!), I also had a presentation proposal accepted at an upcoming regional conference in Ohio! ACUI, one of my professional organizations (the Association of College Unions-International, for those of you who are curious), is hosting my region's conference in a couple of weeks, and I'll be presenting on how to talk with and teach college students about fiscal responsibility in programming (using my own students as a case study). Yeah, I know, I'm a big nerd. But I really like my job and my students are really smart, and I can't not brag on them! I'm also excited to get to talk with other professionals in the midwest about the work they're doing, and see if I can't get some really great ideas to bring back here to our Union.

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I'm getting the travel bug again. It happens every couple of months, so I'm right on schedule. While the bug will be partially satiated by the aforementioned conference in Ohio, I'll REALLY be getting my travel fix for Thanksgiving, when I get to make a grand return to the motherland for some turkey with good friends and another best friend's WEDDING festivities! (Which will be held at The Salt Lick. Yes, you may indulge in jealousy, while I indulge in delicious barbecue.)

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I realize, at the end of all this, that it's like a newsletter for my life. But I really have gotten the blogging itch today, and I realized that it's been two and a half months since I last updated this blog, and so I felt some routine life updates were in order. I've been pondering some deeper issues that will hopefully become blog posts sooner rather than later, but in the meantime, I wanted to put it out to the universe that I'm alive and pretty darn content with life.

(As a treat for making it all the way to the end of this post, you now get to watch what must rank as one of the cutest videos of all time. You're welcome.)

The Best Advice I Ever Received: Cover Letter Edition

Writing twice in a week? (almost) Unprecedented! But, per my commitment to do some personal reflection and some professional development, I come to you now with a topic fresh on my mind: the oft-dreaded cover letter.

(cue dramatic music. and yes, that link goes to exactly where you think it goes to.)

As you may remember, about a year and half ago I wrote one of the most dramatic and, in retrospect, silliest blog posts about how much I hate writing cover letters. But it was true then, and if I were applying for jobs now, it would probably still be true - I really, really don't like writing cover letters. Honestly, the first one is the hardest; by the time I was applying for my umpteenth jobs in May, June, and July, I had my structure and writing process down pat. But those first few were rough, in more ways than one: not only was it difficult to write the letters, but the content was definitely a rough draft.

Thankfully, I had the advice and oversight of wonderful friends, colleagues, and mentors, who gave me great feedback and helped me craft my perfect cover letter. And because I know there are quite a few recent grads out there who are still job searching (which is TOTALLY OKAY, you are NOT ALONE, you will NOT BE UNEMPLOYED, JUST BREATHE!!!), I wanted to pass along some of the best cover letter-writing advice that I got from my colleagues on to you.

It's never too late, my friends, to jazz up your cover letter and really make it sing. (I don't know where those music metaphors came from, but there you go). For me, making my cover letter really shine came down to a few top tips:

1) Make the cover letter sound like you wrote it. Thanks to my dear friend Amma (her blog is linked here, READ IT for reals) for this piece of advice and for a few others on this list... your cover letter needs to sounds like YOU. It is quite possibly the first impression an employer will get of who you are, and so it needs to sound like you! Now, I'm not saying you should go full-on informal prose for this tip ("Yo, whaddup search committee?" is probably a big no-no), but there should definitely be elements of YOU in your cover letter (as opposed to your letter sounding like you ripped it off of a "how to write a cover letter" website or Word template). This may take some tweaking, but eventually you can strike a good balance of professional and personally reflective.
My example: my cover letter always started with a "Hello!" It was friendly, open, and reflects me and my personality.

2) Don't be apologetic for your mad skills. This GORGEOUS piece of advice came down from my awesome theory prof (shoutout to you, Brad Cox) through my friend, colleague, and mentor Mackenzie (mad props for her counsel and advice always). I'm gonna get real here: one of the hardest parts of the job search is seemingly bragging about yourself, or, in more normal terms, "self-promotion." It's something I'm not super comfortable with or something I'm very good at (Amma wrote a great blog post about it earlier this year).  But it's a reality of the job search - you need to try to represent how AMAZING a candidate you are. With that, one of the easiest traps to fall into as you're writing a cover letter are the following phrases (see if you recognize any in your cover letter):
"I have had the opportunity to..."
"I am privileged to..."
"I have the chance to..."
Sound familiar? Here's the truth that Brad and Mackenzie passed on to me: while it may seem in your head that you're being honest (let's get real, some days it's a real privilege and honor to do what we do in student affairs), on paper, it seems like you're apologizing for the skills, experiences, and jobs that you've had and accomplished. As Brad put it, "No. You didn't 'have the chance' to do this, you DID IT. You didn't 'have the opportunity' to do this, YOU DID IT."
When you think about it, that makes sense, huh?
And let's be real in another aspect - writing cover letters can be hard because you can't waste or mince words. So don't waste any words apologizing or downplaying your skills and experience, OWN THEM. You DID plan that event. You DID advise those students. It doesn't sound arrogant, it sounds confident and that you have taken ownership of your abilities!

Last but not least...
3) Tell the employer why you're interested in their position. This is another gem passed on to me through Amma, and I can't tell you how meaningful this piece of advice is. Again, I know that you don't want to mince or waste words in your cover letter. But here's the deal - if you spend the whole cover letter talking about why you're qualified for a position, and never touch on WHY you want that position or WHY you want to work at that institution or in that office, it stops being confident and starts reading like you send the same cover letter to every single employer.
And listen, it's FINE if you use the same basic words and structure for your cover letters; I certainly did! But there should be some unique piece in each of your cover letters that addresses one particular institution alone, and tells them why you're even interested in the position.
I promise you, adding this piece to your cover letter, especially as an entry-level professional, can set you MILES above other candidates. The job search is a two-way recruitment process; not only are you trying to sell yourself to your potential employer, but the employer is also trying to get you interested in working at their institution! So if you don't indicate that there's at least a modicum of interest in an institution or office - it could be in their mission statement, in a specific program or model of operation that they have, in their student population or departmental philosophy, whatever - the employer will wonder why you even want the job in the first place! (And I know that there's more to it than just being employed :). )

So there you have it. Those are the 3 best pieces of advice that I received about cover letter writing for student affairs positions.

Have you received any stellar advice? What would you pass on to new generations of student affairs professionals?

Summer Projects (Sunshine Included)

Long time, no blog! But now it's summer, and the excuses have hit the rearview just like the academic year has. I can't believe that I've already been working at IU for almost 10 months (it'll be a year in August), and that I've made it through one academic year... time has absolutely flown by. Look for a post forthcoming about the things I learned in Year One; for now, I want to talk about summer.

What a beautiful word summer is, especially when you think about all the things it encompasses... sunshine, beaches, rest, play, green grass, blue swimming pools, star-filled nights. I could go on forever - summer is a special time. Of course, now that I'm a full-time professional, I've had to grasp a brand new reality: summer is for work, too.

If you had asked me a year ago, I would have said that I'd be disappointed about not having the summer "off," like my twenty years of schooling prior, but that I realized that it's part of the reality of being a full-time professional. Now that I'm in that reality, though, I have to say - a summer of work can be just as beautiful a thing as a summer off. Because, here's the truth that I've learned: it's hard, VERY hard, to get long-term projects done during the school year. One of my profession's truisms that I've faced as a newbie, and come to realize is accurate, is that my job really is ALL about my students. I mean that in the best way possible; I wouldn't have a job without them! But with that truth, all of my priorities when my students are around focus on those students. I love having an open-door policy; I love that my students trust me enough to come talk to me about work and about their personal issues. The truth of the matter is, though, that it's hard for me to focus on long-term projects during the school year because of the day-to-day, crisis-managing, firefighting role of advising college students.

But now, my friends, it's summer. Granted, some of my students are still around, working on programming for the summer. For the most part, however, it's SILENT in our office. And while I love my students, I am so very, very appreciative of the time to focus. Even though I'm a millennial, I've never really identified or felt comfortable with one of the generational qualities ascribed to us - multitasking. I hate multitasking; I feel like I'm not able to do justice to the work that's assigned to me when I'm forced to juggle it with other tasks. Of course, another reality of the professional world that I faced this year is that my day-to-day is ALL ABOUT MULTITASKING! So now that it's summer, and I'm able to focus on one thing at a time, my brain is a LOT happier.

In short, so far, summer has been treating me beautifully. I have time to truly focus on short- and long-term projects that escaped my notice (or had to be swept under the rug) during the school year. Here's a list, not even close to all-encompassing, but broken down of the things that I'll be working on this summer (work-related and otherwise):

1. Annual Reports - how has our office done with engaging the students? How has the Union Board done with reaching out to its constituents? Are we on target with our mission statement? Can we be proud of the things we've accomplished over the past academic year?
2. Staff and Grad Assistant Training - We just hired a new GA, and will be hiring a new professional in our office. Now is the perfect time to focus on training; what can and should our new professionals and paraprofessionals be getting out of time in our office? How can I as a professional support my colleagues' journeys? How can I make sure that I work to explain and help my colleagues understand the culture of my institution and office even better than I do?
3. Planning for the Year Ahead - Summer is the perfect time to take a look around and see where we are and how we can improve. I want to try to be intentional about thinking about the year ahead; now that I know what the school year looks like, what can I do now to ease my path later on?
4. Reflection Time - Now that I've been in my role for a year (almost), I really want to take stock of where I've been and where I'm going. I want to set goals for the coming year, and to really think about my professional development. This project includes blogging more - I've missed the catharsis and the engagement that this medium brings, and I really want to make an effort to be processing this way more (and engaging with my fellow professionals via their blogs). Which leads to...
5. Professional Development - How can I seek out new opportunities to grow and learn? I've already been blessed with one opportunity coming up this summer, ACUI's IPDS New Professionals Orientation. I'm so excited to get to spend a week with fellow new professionals! (nerd alert.) I also want to tackle some reading this summer; I FINALLY got a library card and want to put it to good use, for both leisure and developmental reading. Which leads to my final point...
6. Leisure Time - I have some beautiful vacations coming up in July; I'm playing on a co-rec softball team; I recently bought my very own bicycle. I want to be very purposeful about relaxing into this less stressful summer schedule, and really enjoying my "time off" (as close to time off as I'll get :))

Here's to you, summer 2013 - let's make it a good one!