A New Year's Resolutions

The sun is shining bright; campus is already abuzz with residence hall move-in and our welcome week, Seminole Sensation Week; and here we are on the eve of another school year at Florida State. Tomorrow will mark another first day of school and my twentieth consecutive year of schooling, and, at least for a while, my last first day of school. That's right--twenty years of school has led to this, my last two semesters in the classroom (we're going to assume that they're the last for now because I have no immediate plans to get a Ph.D.), and in a little less than eight months, I'll be receiving my master's degree. WHOA.

You'd think after 19 years of school I'd have the process of being a student perfected, but you couldn't be more wrong. There are some things I've gotten down pat: I'm great at putting assignments in my planner and color-coding them so I know what's due when (thanks to my borderline OCD for that one), for example. But there are some habits--bad ones--that have only become more ingrained over the past 19 years. So I find myself, on the eve of each school year, making promises and resolutions to be a better me and, above all, a better student.

This year is a little bit different, though. I mean, I'm still swearing that I'm not going to procrastinate; I'm promising myself NO ALL-NIGHTERS TO WRITE A PAPER. Those resolutions might never change. But my resolutions and promises this year don't just relate to my in-the-classroom performance, but to my out-of-the-classroom performance as well. Like I said, in eight months I won't be a formal student anymore, and so this year, I've decided it's time to be intentional about resolving to be a better student both in and outside the classroom. More than that, I want to form habits this year that are going to benefit me as I get a "big kid job" (although I think that many of my colleagues in student affairs would argue that part of the fun of our profession is not having to be a "big kid" all the time :)). I want to practice the habits that are going to help me take care of myself and, ultimately, help me help my students take better care of themselves, so that when they make new-school year's-resolutions, I can support them and make their habits of excellence happen.

So, without any further ado whatsoever, here are my New School Year's Resolutions.

1. Cut back on procrastinating.

Seriously, this is a habit I've had since at least fourth or fifth grade. I vividly remember my parents trying to teach me to give myself incentives, so that when I finish an assignment, I can give myself a treat. Sorry, Mom and Dad, but that habit didn't take. I am a tried-and-true procrastinator, to my everlasting shame. Each year, I promise myself it won't happen, and for about a week I do just fine, but then I hear the call of Facebook... I just want to watch this one movie... The weather is so nice that I can't miss out on that beach trip... and before I know it, it's the night before my paper is due, and I'm chugging coffee and frantically searching Google Scholar to find my perfect 15 articles to cite for my 10-page paper. And at that moment, I always think, "Now Cassidy, if you didn't procrastinate, you wouldn't be stressed to the point of a nervous breakdown right now. Wouldn't that be NICE?"

Obviously, my previous approaches haven't worked, so this year, I'm going to try a different approach. I won't try to cut procrastination cold-turkey out of my life; that isn't happening. Instead, I'll applaud myself when I DO complete assignments and papers way ahead of time and perhaps treat myself to incentives (a new work blouse or skirt? going to see a movie? download a new song?). Then, when I "fall off the wagon" and make a mistake, as is inevitable, instead of getting angry with myself, I'll make a resolution to do better next time. Stay tuned for a progress report on this everlasting disability of mine.

2. Make my own way.

Professional development is hugely important in my chosen profession, student affairs, as I'm sure it's highly encouraged in other professions as well. We have organizations, Twitter accounts and hashtags, monthly and bi-monthly meetings, newsletters, even specially set-aside budgets, ALL for the purpose of continuing to develop ourselves professionally and to learn outside the classroom. Since I am soon to be a real professional, I want to start being very intentional with my own professional development, and to form the habits now, during my second year of grad school, that will help me when I get my "big kid" job.

However, there are pitfalls to avoid in this quest to become a well-developed, well-rounded professional. I don't know about other career paths, but in student affairs, there are SO MANY PRESCRIPTIONS as to the "right" path of professional development. "If you want to succeed," they say (I don't know who "they" are), "Get a mentor. Join a professional organization. Publish articles. Present at national conferences. Study abroad. Get internships. Switch assistantships. Don't switch assistantships. Make your resume fun. Make your resume professional." The list goes ON. Now, I'm not saying that this advice isn't valid or valuable; on the contrary, many (if not all) of these suggestions are highly valuable for new professionals to consider as ways to get one's name "out there," to start being recognized in our field, and to navigate the first few years of our professional lives.

However, the biggest challenge--what I'm challenging myself to do--is to remember that THERE IS NO ONE PATH TO SUCCESS. Each professional I EVER encounter will have found their own unique way to get to where they are, and I don't have to copy their footsteps to become as successful as they are. Of course, I should utilize these professionals as great sources of advice and encouragement as I navigate my own professional path, but I should never fear to strike out on my own, to forge my own path through that forest of professional development.

3. Read more.

This is something that I've never struggled with--reading is one of my favorite things to do. But every year, I should seek to expand my horizons, and ESPECIALLY considering this is my last year of in-the-classroom learning, I need to get used to the process of finding my own learning through reading.

Of course, this means reading more books related to my profession (as part of the above, making my own way). Then again, I don't want to get so bogged down in my career that it becomes my life; so part of this is to continue reading as MANY books in as MANY subjects as I can get my hands on. The classics, new bestsellers, biographies and autobiographies, histories, sci-fi, romance, mystery, ANYTHING--every book I read expands my world a little bit more and gives me an escape whenever I need it. I should ALWAYS strive to read more.

4. Love more.

There are so many opportunities, every day of life, to show love to the people around us. Each person we meet in this life is special and deserving of love, and when I'm in a serving profession like student affairs, I have the special opportunity of showing love and appreciation to students, colleagues, and others every. single. day. With that, I have to be intentional about showing love. This includes, but is not limited to:

-Empowering my students more, to help them realize they can do anything they set their sights on

-Appreciating my students more, to let them know that what they've accomplished is a job well done

-Continuing to build relationships with my cohort, to form strong bonds before we scatter to the four winds in the coming job search

-Supporting and serving as a resource for the incoming cohort, to let the first-years know they have a friend and listening ear whenever needed

-Forming a strong bond with my office staff, so we can serve as a united front and as a support network for each other if times get rough (which, in student activities, is more common than we'd like :))

-Reaching out more to my best friends from before graduate school, to maintain the relationships I already have, and to let them know that, even though I'm over 1,000 miles away, I still want to be there for them

-Being intentional with telling my family how much I love and appreciate them and their support through thick and through thin

-Being a positive and helpful person all-around, and trying to make at least one person smile each day

What are your new school year's resolutions?

Through the storms of life, we never walk alone

Readers,

I am a deeply spiritual person, and identify as a Christian. My faith is an important part of my life, and I rely on it to help me better love every single person around me.

Today, in my church, the Gospel reading was from Matthew, and it related the story of Jesus walking on water. For those of you who have grown up in a Christian church, this story will be familiar. For those of you who haven't grown up in a Christian church, let me give you a brief background. The context of this story takes place during Jesus's ministry, the time when He traveled all over Israel preaching the Gospel, the Good News, with His disciples.

In this story, Jesus leaves the disciples to go pray, and they're on a ship in the middle of the Sea of Galilee. A storm hits at night, and the disciples are scared. Jesus begins to walk across the water to them (one of His most famous Biblical miracles), and when they see Him, they become afraid, thinking He's a ghost. He assures them it is He, and Peter, one of Jesus' disciples, says, "Jesus, if it's you, call me to come to you across the water." Jesus calls Peter, and Peter gets out of the boat, and, miraculously, begins to walk across the water to Jesus. However, the storm is fierce, and Peter becomes afraid, and begins to sink. Jesus holds out His hand to Peter and saves him, and says, "Oh, you of little faith."

Throughout the different churches I've attended, and Bible studies I've participated in, I've heard a lot of discussions of this passage before; many of them talk about having the courage of Peter to GET OUT OF THE BOAT, a metaphor for having the courage to trust God and walk out into the storms of life, knowing that God is going to help us walk "across the water" and weather the storm. That's a huge challenge for me and for a lot of Christians--when times are bad, we want to rely solely on ourselves, to just stay in one spot on our little "boat," to be scared, and not let ourselves be thrown into (and changed by) the storm around us.

However, what happens when we DO choose to make the step out of the boat? I find a lot of Christians struggle with this, too, especially ME. Going to grad school was a huge step out of my "boat"--I felt called to enter the profession of student affairs, and it was a huge, trusting leap to make this move to Florida and to come to a new school, but I did it. But, now I'm here, in the middle of a sea, and the storms of life rage around me, and I question WHY I got out of my boat in the first place!

With grad school, and with many other situations in my life, it's not the step out of the boat that scares me the most, it's the walk through the storm to get to Jesus. The whole time, Jesus is saying, "Come to me. Trust me. Through me, you can do this. You can walk on this water. Trust me." And oftentimes, we take those first steps out of the boat, and we're exhilarated. "Yes, God!" we exult. "You are helping me! I'm trusting you! I'm walking on water, thank You so much!"

But then, what happens next? We lose sight of God... and the storm gets louder. We forget who gave us the ability to walk on the water in the first place, and we lose our focus on the reason WHY we're walking on water, and just start to focus on the water itself. Suddenly, everything is overwhelming. We're all alone, in the middle of a raging, storming sea. It's dark outside, it's cold, it's wet, and we got in over our heads. Who were we to think we could walk on water all by ourselves? We were CRAZY!

And thus, we start to sink. We lose sight of the One who called us out of the boat in the first place, we let the storm and sound and sea distract us, and we sink. We get down on ourselves, we're lonely, and we're SCARED.

And yet, we forgot that we WEREN'T alone on that sea.

Someone called us out there to walk with Him.

And all of a sudden, there He is. There's His hand. Grab it, it's held out to you, to me, to all of us.

Suddenly, the sea isn't so scary. The night isn't so dark. The whole time, we could have walked on the surface of the sea and been safe in the storm, if only we hadn't lost sight of the One who invited us into the storm in the first place.

And He saves us. He pulls us up from the depths. He comforts us, and, with the Love of a Father, He gently chides us. "Oh, you of little faith," He says. "How could you forget that I was here the whole time?"

In the storms of our lives, in the daily stresses and troubles and worries and pains, it's easy to lose sight of God. Although He calls us into living our lives fully in the first place, once we're in the midst of things, we look away. We think, "Hey, this isn't so bad. Look at me! I'm surviving! I'm walking on water! I've got this!"

And then, all of a sudden, things get worse. The stress gets overwhelming, the troubles mount, and the world gets dark and cold and lonely. We have lost sight of our Helper, and so we start to lose faith. We start to sink into self-pity, into doubt, and into fear. We feel like nothing can save us from the predicament we're in.

And yet, if we look up, there it is. There's His hand. God has been waiting, patiently, the whole time. Through the storm, He's been standing right there, calling us to Him. We lost sight of Him for a while, but that doesn't mean He left us. He's standing right there, waiting for us to call on Him again. He saves us from the storm; He lessens our stress and relieves our doubts and fears, and shows us that, through Him, anything is possible. He gently chides us, those of little faith, and reminds us that He'll ALWAYS be there. He's the one who wanted us to experience the storm in the first place, but He wants us to experience the storm with our sights on Him, holding His hand. Only then can we walk on water.

My friends, whether or not we share a spirituality or a faith, I pray that you NEVER feel alone in the storm. Help is always there, waiting for you to call out for it. Yes, we have to get out of the boat in the first place to experience life's storms, but we also have to be willing to call for help along the way, to remember that opportunities for help never abandon us. A source of help is always right there, waiting to stretch out a hand. Take it!