I always say that at the end of one year and beginning of another, but truly, I feel as though I blinked and New Year's Day had arrived.
My 2018 was FULL. Full of life, learning, love... it was a year that I promised myself would be about finding "enough." I wanted to focus on myself, not in a selfish way, but in a self-care way. I wanted to explore what was physically enough for me and test my relationship with food. I wanted to continue to seek work/life balance and harmony, and actually take vacation days. I promised myself I would continue going to see my counselor, I would travel to see friends, and above all else, that I would be kinder to myself - to speak lovingly and to accept grace from and for myself.
I accomplished most of these goals. My 2018 was full of experiences, small and large. I lost (and gained) weight. I spoke to myself more kindly and encouragingly. I traveled to new places and tried new things. I met an incredible man (and his dog) who have turned my life upside-down in the best way. I accepted a job back home in Texas (and can no longer call myself an ex-pat; I'm HOME). I gained a fantastic sister-in-law (I can take no credit for her, but I adore her, so she gets to go in this list). Yes, 2018 was one for the books.
At my end-of-year reckoning, I celebrated all of these wins, and I also considered the things I still have yet to accomplish. Like a typical Enneagram Type 2 (something I've been learning about recently), I found my other-centric goals easy to accomplish, but I found the goals around self-care and self-love hardest of all. So as I looked at 2019, I knew that focusing on myself still needed to be on the agenda.
As many know, I have been picking a word of the year since 2012.
[2012 - Believe; 2013 - Center; 2014 - Simplicity; 2015 - Gratitude; 2016 - Well; 2017 - Commitment; 2018 - Enough]
This year, my OneWord is focus.
My commitment to myself, my resolutions and goals for this year, revolve around the idea of concentrating, of directing my attention, of emphasizing, of finding clear perception, around and on the most important things in life.
As I was researching potential words, I looked into their etymology (of course I did). And I discovered that focus is from the Latin for "hearth." A hearth is a focal point, a center, of a home. When it is warm and clean and tended to, it's fulfilling its purpose. It is bright and shining; it is providing warmth and comfort for others. When it is dirty and ashy and cold, no one is gathering around it; it is not sustaining anyone.
It's on me to keep my home fire burning, to keep my hearth clean and inviting, for myself and for others. I have to nourish my own spirit; I have to fill my own bucket; I have to tend to my own flame.
My goals for this year include:
- Finding a home church and regularly attending (and really, plugging back into my relationship with God)
- Picking running back up, and running at least one half-marathon
- Eating well enough: an "80/20" lifestyle, where most of my food is healthy but I'm allowed the things I love
- Ending the year with one month's salary in my "do not touch" savings account
- Find and regularly visit a counselor in my new city
- Keeping on growing in love & kindness with my awesome boyfriend
Here's to you, 2019! Let's make this year a good one.
