You're in the doldrums...

For any fans of Norton Juster's The Phantom Tollbooth, you'll remember that the title of this entry comes from a scene of the story where our hero, Milo, finds himself stuck. He drives along a road, mile after mile after mile after mile after mile after mile... and finds himself in The Doldrums, a place where the people are lazy Lethargians and the world is colorless and grey. Excitement is outlawed, and wasting time is encouraged.

The term "doldrums" also refers to a belt of winds and weather that fall in the Atlantic and Pacific Oceans, between the northern and southern trade winds, where sailors can often become becalmed, stuck, and stagnated.

I sympathize.

It's mid-semester of my second year of graduate school, and I find myself becalmed, stuck in the doldrums. I still love my assistantship with Student Activities; I am still proud to be on my journey to becoming a student affairs professional. But it's that time of year--the mid-semester "blahs," the doldrums--where I, again, find myself questioning the stresses of my grad school career. Again, I ask myself--is it worth it?

Even more so, I ask myself, what am I doing?

Our cohort has less than 200 days 'til our hooding ceremony. I have less than two months 'til I begin my job search in earnest. These momentous events, signaling a turn in my path and a new horizon ahead, creep closer and closer... and yet I find myself becalmed, stuck in the doldrums, unable to mentally push through the day-to-day stresses of grad school, my job, and the balance between my chosen career path and my life.

And yet, even in my momentary state of stagnation, even as I sit through classes that hardly stimulate me (I am NOT a statistician, nor will I ever be!) and answer endless e-mails, deep down I know that this period of "stagnation" may actually prove to be a great period of growth. As my brilliant mother pointed out to me the other night, it's during the winter, when the trees and plants seem lifeless, that they actually achieve their most growth.

In the future, no matter where I end up or what I'm doing or who I'm spending time with, I'll find myself in these periods of stagnation, feeling like I'm stuck in the doldrums with no prevailing wind to get me out.

But I need to remember this wisdom of inner growth during times of seeming, outward lifelessness. I need to remember that I have a future, that everything happens for a reason and that each perceived time of listlessness and stagnation is a prime opportunity to reflect, pray, and plan for the times ahead.

In The Phantom Tollbooth, Milo is saved from his detour through The Doldrums by a newfound friend, Tock the Watchdog (featured in all his glory at the top of this post), who warns Milo that time is a TERRIBLE thing to waste. Time is our most precious commodity, for it is limited.

What a wonderful reminder to appreciate ALL the time we have, whether we feel listless or engaged; whether we're taking fabulous vacations to faraway places or sitting in our offices, answering e-mails and interacting with colleagues and students; whether we're clipping along on our journey or stopped for a slight detour in The Doldrums. Even these detours, these seemingly mundane and colorless periods in our lives can provide wisdom, wonder, and joy for the lives we're living!

Before I know it, almost without realizing, I'll be out of my personal Doldrums and back on my journey, with a renewed sense of purpose and new-found enthusiasm. I'll be a little bit wiser, (hopefully) a little more mature, and ready to take on new challenges, appreciating every moment of time along the way.