Looking Back at 2013

I guess I've got Einstein and his Theory of Relativity (no, by following that link I do NOT expect you to understand what the heck that Wikipedia article is talking about, but it's worth a shot) to thank for the fact that 2013 sped by faster than any other year I've lived yet. And it was QUITE a year. Some amazing things happened, some... not so amazing things happened. So it's time for my now-annual year-in-review post (see here for 2012's review).

I don't know what I was expecting with 2013. Again, there were some BIG milestones to celebrate:

• My big brother got married, and I got to welcome a WONDERFUL new sister-in-law (and her family) into ours!
• I turned 25, quarter-life crisis included, and got to visit the Pacific Northwest (Portland, to be specific) and some of my BEST friends for my birthday.
• I survived my first year in my first full-time job. Miracle, in and of itself.
• I actually played a sport. Not well, but the point is I played.
• I joined a sorority as an alumna initiate, and I LOVE my new sisterhood.

All that aside, 2013 was... I don't know how to say this, other than 2013 was HARD. And I know I'm not alone in this. I've talked to a lot of other people--family, friends, coworkers--and a lot of them seem to agree with me that there was just something CHALLENGING about this year. I can't quantify exactly what was so hard; if I start going into all the individual problems I've had, this will turn into a #firstworldproblems post and that is the LAST thing I want.

Let me just sum up this year by saying that I was hoping... I expected... to finish out this year more confident, more self-actualized, more sure of who I am and of why I'm where I am and of why I'm doing what I'm doing. I just knew that finishing out my first year of work would make me a more competent and confident professional; that turning 25 would clue me in to ALL of life's mysteries and secrets. 

Hell, I even chose "center" as my #oneword2013 (I never ended up blogging about it, if that gives you any indication of what a cluster this year ended up being, but you can see references to my #oneword2012 here, here, and here). I was going to use this year to center myself on and deepen my relationship with God (as you can see previously, my faith is VERY important to me); I was going to pray more, read my Bible more, just TALK with God more. But honestly--and after a recent conversation with my excellent and loving parents, I believe in being open and vulnerable about this--I am in a worse place, a bigger crisis of faith, right now than I have been in a LONG time. At least throughout my (seemingly) interminable job search last year, I felt confident and sure that God was going to come through; that I would end up in EXACTLY the right place with EXACTLY the right job, for EXACTLY the right reasons. God and I talked all the time; even when the answer I heard was "no" or "wait," I was still sure that He was answering.

But now? I'm, honestly, not sure. I've heard "wait" so much and so often that I'm not even sure WHAT I'm supposed to be waiting for. I like my job, I like my town, I love my new friends and acquaintances that I've met. But why am I here? What am I getting out of this experience? Most importantly, what in all green goodness am I actually contributing to my environment? Am I making my workplace better? Am I making my students' lives better? Am I bringing more happiness and joy and love to the lives of my friends and family?

I'm in the metaphorical wilderness right now. (Listen to this song by the O.C. Supertones to get a feel for EXACTLY how I'm feeling right now.)

I am, in fact, LESS confident than I was this time last year. I'm LESS sure, LESS certain of almost everything (except about those who love and support me--I am trusting in you guys more than ever!). 

But, here's the tl;dr of this post: I'm using this last day of 2013 to decide that it's okay that I'm insecure. I am deciding that, even if I'm sure that everything happens for a reason, I don't know those reasons and I'm kind of mad about it. And I'm deciding that it's okay that I'm mad about not knowing those reasons. I'm deciding that I'm going to own my vulnerability even more than I usually do. You see, I'm a big fan of Brene' Brown's work "Daring Greatly" (something my friend Michael has been blogging about too; you can read his stuff here!), and up until this year, I would have told you that I am one of the most vulnerable people I know. I wear my heart on my sleeve; one of the Strengths that has shown up all 4 times I've taken StrengthsQuest has been Empathy, for heaven's sake. I've prided myself about my ability to feel what others are feeling, and to be open and honest about those emotions.

But what I've learned this year is that I'm NOT really open about those things. I'm not honest about when I feel like I've made a mistake, or messed something up, or when I feel stupid or wrong or bad. I try to hide behind this shell of togetherness; I like to pretend that I know what I'm talking about and that I've got my life together and that I can take care of EVERYONE ELSE without taking care of myself.

But, 2013 has CERTAINLY pulled that rug out from under me. And I'm deciding today, December 31, 2013, that I'm going to be okay.

I don't have my life together... and that's okay.

I don't know everything about everything... and that's okay.

I'm not sure what 2014 will bring to me... and that's okay.

2013 was a mess, I was (am) a mess. But you know what? Everything is going to be okay. I'm going to be okay. The sun will rise, the world will turn, I'll learn something new every day. 2014 is a year full of hope, a blank slate, a chance to start fresh with a new attitude. It's a chance to be okay with myself when I'm not perfect, to learn anything and everything I can from every moment, and to try to grow and live and be. 

So happy new year, everyone. May 2014 bring more blessings, more truth, more love, more hope, more faith into your lives (and mine) than we ever could want or need.

A Week of Thankfulness #3: Life!

Happy Turkey Day, everyone!

So today's thankfulness topic may be a little bit of a cop-out, but it's very true--I'm thankful for life, my life in particular. As I was flying this morning, heading to Texas to spend this weekend with some of my best friends in the entire world, it occurred to me that my life is VERY blessed. I'm so thankful for all of the wonderful gifts that God has given me--my family, friends, job, health... the list gets more detailed and goes on and on.

Suffice it to say, despite the ups and downs we experience, this life we live is pretty sweet. I'm thankful for my circumstances, I'm thankful for the joy I find (or try to find) in every day, and I'm thankful for life.

In honor of today being the kickoff of Hanukkah... L'chaim, and Happy Thanksgiv(ukkah)ing!

A Week of Thankfulness #2: Home

In the spirit of the holidays beginning, and Thanksgiving being in TWO DAYS, I've decided that this week, I'm going to blog every day about something that I'm thankful for. Yesterday, I talked about sisterhood; today, I want to talk about home.

I really like the multiple definitions of home, as defined by good ol' dictionary.com:
1. a house, apartment, or other shelter that is the usual residence of a person, family, or household.
2. the place in which one's domestic affections are centered.

If you think about #1, I suppose my home now is Bloomington, IN, and for that, I'm thankful, although it's strange to think that my "usual residence" is no longer in the state of Texas. In fact, the place I consider my hometown, where I lived full-time for 10 years and part-time for 6--S'nangelo (San Angelo for the uninitiated)--isn't even the place I return for the holidays anymore, considering my parents moved to a different city (and different state) around the same time I did last year. But, I'm thankful for the 16 years that San Angelo gave me, and I'm VERY thankful for the year and half that Bloomington has given me, especially as it has meant full-time, gainful, awesome employment. Bloomington is a COOL town, and IU is a COOL place, and I'm thankful for my "usual residence," even though it's somewhere new (and winter is a new thing for me).

I've also called a few other places my "usual residences"--College Station, TX, for a magical 4 years, and Tallahassee, FL, for a fantastic 2 years. I'm thankful for all those cities did for me and gave to me; they were pretty cool towns to call home.

Now, though, we're approaching into the territory covered by definition #2, and I love the way that dictionary.com phrases this--"the place in which one's domestic (familial) affections are centered." Even though my hometown isn't my "place of usual residence" anymore, I still have MANY domestic affections centered in The Wool and Mohair Capital of the World (that is a real nickname, y'all). San Angelo will always be my hometown; reppin' the 325 'til I die (forgive me).

Then, there's College Station, TX, a place where my familial affections find their epicenter, thanks to the Aggie Family. Being a Former Student of Texas A&M University means the world to me, and I am SO thankful for the values that Aggieland instilled in me. My heart beats a little faster when I drive down Highway 6, headed for a beautiful place that I'll always call home.

In an unexpected turn of events, Tallahassee, FL (and, more specifically, Florida State University) became home for me during my time in graduate school. Especially in my coworkers, my students, and my cohort-mates, I found a new place to center my domestic affections. FSU is a special place, and the Higher Ed program (and the LifeNet) have become my home and family more than I could have ever predicted. I'm thankful for the work that the professionals and students at that school do, and I'm thankful for the confidence that I gained during my time in Talla-classy that prepared me for my current home and position.

Finally, here's the real crux of this post--I'm thankful for the people who exist in my life who give me places to "center my familial affections." There's my extended family who live ALL over the country (and world), but especially in DFW, who give me a chance to call those places my home. There's all my best friends who, again, live all over the country, giving me more "homes" than I can count. In fact, this Thanksgiving, I get to call Austin, TX my home, thanks to several of my best friends from college.

That's the real beauty of home, I think--it exists wherever your family exists. And I'm thankful for my family and friends, who give me a reason to find home wherever they are. In the end, the old saying is true--home IS where the heart is.

So, for my family and friends--you are my heart, and my home, and I'm thankful for you!

A Week of Thankfulness #1: Sisterhood

This week is Thanksgiving, one of the BEST holidays of all time (second only to Christmas). Evidence:
Item #1: Centered around gathering loved ones together and eating FOOD.
Item #2: Encourages a spirit of thankfulness.
What more could one want from their holiday?

So, in the spirit of this time of year--one of my very favorites, for the aforementioned reasons + a few more--I decided that this week, I'd write a series of posts chronicling some of the things I'm most thankful for. Today's post, to kick off the series: I'm thankful for sisterhood.

When I talk about "sisterhood" as a concept, I really want to address how multifaceted that word is, and what those facets mean to me.

First, there's the idea of a sister. I don't have any biological female siblings (just my big brother, who's pretty darn cool), but I do have some extraordinarily close family and friends who I would categorize as my "sisters." First, there's my VERY awesome sister-in-law; I really couldn't have asked for a better woman to marry my brother. Then, there's my closest girlfriends from high school, college, and graduate school, who to this day all provide love, support, challenge, and sanity. I couldn't be more thankful for these female peers, who are more than just friends to me; we are FAMILY.

Then, there are the organizational sisterhoods that I have been a part of. More than I can say, I'm thankful for my Maggies, who (I always said) are the sisters that God gave me since He didn't give me any biological ones. My sophomore year of college, I needed to immerse myself in a group of women who would challenge me and set an amazing example of what women could do at Texas A&M, and I most definitely found that in the Mags. And now, I am SO thankful for finding a new (and life-long) sisterhood in Gamma Phi Beta Sorority. My joining a sorority and becoming Greek AFTER college was completely unpredictable, and yet I cannot sing the praises enough of the wonderful women I've met so far (and of my sisters far and wide who I haven't yet met!). Gamma Phi has provided a wonderful balance point for me here at Indiana, a chance to get out of my own head and be a part of something bigger than myself. It will also continually provide me the chance to support and encourage young women in their college careers, and to surround myself with amazing women who are doing amazing things across the world. Which leads me to my final point...

Third, I am thankful for being a woman, and for the worldwide sisterhood of womanhood. There is strength in numbers, there is power in support, and one of the things I have valued the most throughout my life is the example of strong women--my grandmothers, mom, aunts, cousins, friends, mentors, advisors, colleagues--who strive to build a network of other supportive women in their lives, and who have supported ME through good times and bad. The women in my life, from those who have advised me to those I now advise, consistently challenge me to be better and to grow and mature, and they consistently provide wonderful examples of kindness, strength, friendship, and love. I am so thankful for the women that are already in my life, and the ones I have yet to meet.

To all the ladies out there--We are sisters, you and I, and I am thankful for you.

Musings on an October Day

Sometimes, one gets the urge to write, and so one must indulge oneself, no matter if one's thoughts are cohesive. (One also occasionally sounds like the Queen of England. We are not amused.)

~

It's FINALLY feeling like fall in Indiana, and Mother Nature isn't the only one dealing with changes. It seems as if everything is in flux right now, but not necessarily in a bad way. I've made a few life changes on my own account for which I'm VERY proud of myself:

FIRST: I started taking a modern dance class once a week. It is the day when I leave work at 5 p.m. like normal people do, and it is the day when I pretend to be Jody Sawyer from Center Stage and just dance my little heart out (regardless of my feet!).

SECOND: I was invited, accepted, and initiated into Gamma Phi Beta sorority as an alumna initiate, and I couldn't be happier about my new sisterhood. I am thrilled to join a long history of women who believe in inspiring "the highest type of womanhood," and I am already so impressed by the alumnae and undergrads that I've met who are now my sisters. I can't wait to get more involved with the chapter here at IU, and to get to fully experience being a Greek!

~

Work continues apace. I am in the midst of my second year as a professional at IU, and my fourth year (SO weird to think about) in a student affairs role as a para/professional. On the one hand, there are moments when I am 1000% confident in who I am as a colleague and advisor; I relish the times when I (finally) know an answer to a student's question or when I am able to provide historic or institutionally contextual perspective to a discussion. I'm expanding my network and deepening my friendships on campus, and I'm FINALLY feeling like a Bloomington "townie." On the other hand, and I have been assured that I am NOT alone in this, there are moments when the dreaded "impostor syndrome" still plagues me, and when I feel like I have been working at this job for a little over a month instead of a little over a year. Thankfully, I have a supportive supervisor and encouraging colleagues, and so I strive to make it through each week a little wiser and a little more equipped professionally.

~

Nerd Alert: the GREAT news is that I'm getting the chance to take part in some awesome professional development opportunities this fall - not only is IU hosting this year's Indiana Student Affairs Association Drive-In Conference (yay day-long pro.dev.!), I also had a presentation proposal accepted at an upcoming regional conference in Ohio! ACUI, one of my professional organizations (the Association of College Unions-International, for those of you who are curious), is hosting my region's conference in a couple of weeks, and I'll be presenting on how to talk with and teach college students about fiscal responsibility in programming (using my own students as a case study). Yeah, I know, I'm a big nerd. But I really like my job and my students are really smart, and I can't not brag on them! I'm also excited to get to talk with other professionals in the midwest about the work they're doing, and see if I can't get some really great ideas to bring back here to our Union.

~

I'm getting the travel bug again. It happens every couple of months, so I'm right on schedule. While the bug will be partially satiated by the aforementioned conference in Ohio, I'll REALLY be getting my travel fix for Thanksgiving, when I get to make a grand return to the motherland for some turkey with good friends and another best friend's WEDDING festivities! (Which will be held at The Salt Lick. Yes, you may indulge in jealousy, while I indulge in delicious barbecue.)

~

I realize, at the end of all this, that it's like a newsletter for my life. But I really have gotten the blogging itch today, and I realized that it's been two and a half months since I last updated this blog, and so I felt some routine life updates were in order. I've been pondering some deeper issues that will hopefully become blog posts sooner rather than later, but in the meantime, I wanted to put it out to the universe that I'm alive and pretty darn content with life.

(As a treat for making it all the way to the end of this post, you now get to watch what must rank as one of the cutest videos of all time. You're welcome.)

10 Years

There comes a special time each summer when my little heart jumps for joy, and it can be summed up in six words:

So.
You.
Think.
You.
Can.
DANCE.

(yes, I'm blogging about reality TV right now for no other reason than this is one of the greatest shows on television.)

I can't believe it's the 10th year of this absolutely fabulous show. As a dancer myself for 15 years (those of you who know my athletic ability--or lack thereof--might well be shocked by this), seeing the ever-amazing routines danced out on that stage always makes my heart go "pitter-pat."

I don't have cable anymore (I'm finally free of the curse that is Comcast), so I'm catching up on this current season on Hulu (if ANYONE spoils it for me I'll hurt you!!!), but in honor of the 10th year of my very favorite reality show, I decided to make this fun little post featuring my favorite routines EVER on SYTYCD.

This originally began as a Top 10 list, but as I've spent the last HOUR on youtube looking up all my favorite routines, I just couldn't limit myself. Don't call this a comprehensive list, but I think it's as close as possible, and it's even categorized for your perusing pleasure!

Cassidy's Favorite SYTYCD Routines EVER, in No Particular Order

To Give You Tears/Chills:

Jeanine & Brandon, Battlefield  -->This dance firmly cemented in my mind that Jeanine was going to be the Season 5 winner. Which she was. I win all the things.

Mellisa & Ade, This Woman’s Work   -->Need to cry today? Watch this dance.

Travis & Heidi, Calling You   -->You'll see a LOT of dances from Season 2 on this list. It's partially because Season 2 was arguably the best season of all SYTYCD, and partially because Travis Wall is a freaking genius. This dance also made me like Heidi, which is a miracle in itself.

Hok & Jaimie, The Chairman’s Waltz   -->Emmy-nominated, Wade Robson, HUMMINGBIRD, music from Memoirs of a Geisha. You don't really need to know more.

Love Stories:

Jeanine & Jason, If it Kills Me   -->Travis Wall as dancer is phenomenal. Travis Wall as choreographer? Indescribable. He's a genius. (I think I said that.) Jeanine absolutely deserved to win season 5. (Oh, I mentioned that too?) Well... there's not much else to say, except WATCH 'TIL THE END. OMG the CHEMISTRY.

Katee & Joshua, No Air   -->NappyTabs (Napoleon & Tabitha, husband & wife hip-hop duo) created a beautiful story with this dance. It's no wonder Katee & Joshua were finalists in this season because this dance surprises and thrills me every time. Katee's got MOVES.

Dominic & Lauren , Ain’t No Sunshine   -->Two words: RUMBA. CHEMISTRY.

Audrey & Matthew, Unchained Melody   -->Travis Wall: genius. That's all.

Lauren & Kent, Collide   -->Travis Wall: genius. I sound like a broken record. Also, KENT! 

Not So Love Stories:

Katee & Twitch, Mercy   -->Katee really shone in this dance, and this is where I REALLY first started liking Twitch, who's now a fixture on the show as a judge & All-Star. Killer combo.

Chelsie and Mark, Bleeding Love   -->Another Emmy nom for this show, and another time I may or may not have teared up watching an incredible routine. I dare you to take your eyes off of Chelsie during this routine. GO ON, I DARE YOU.

Danny & Anya, Apologize   -->"Apologies" (yuk yuk) to any Danny/Anya fans out there, but I really did not like either one of these contestants; they were consistently called out for their lack of personality, and rightfully so. However, if you just watch this ONE dance, you will wonder how in the heck I could say that because OMG the CHEMISTRY. 

Comfort & Adechike, Fallin’   -->I can't. *weeps in a corner*

Sick Jazz:

Neil & Sabra, Sweet Dreams   -->THE PART WHERE HE HOLDS HIMSELF UP OVER THE TABLE OMG.

Danny & Neil, Are You the One?   -->Neil was probably my favorite contestant in Season 3, as you might be able to tell from his presence in this category. He is adorable, a, and b, is a fantastic dancer. Him and Danny as rival princes? Just stunning.

Season 2 Top 4, Sexy Back   -->I reiterate all the things about Season 2, and leave you with this: WADE ROBSON.

Season 2 Top 10, Ramalama (Bang Bang)   -->Season 2, Wade Robson, blah blah blah blah ZOMBIES

Courtney & Mark, The Garden   -->I just need Sonya Tayeh to choreograph my life. Kthanks.

Sick Hip-Hop:

*Note:* So every dance but one in this category is from Season 2. This is for several reasons: Travis Wall, Shane Sparks, krumping, and Ivan. See below for which genius thing belongs to which dance.

Travis & Benji, Gyrate   -->The two whitest boys on the show, being blessed by their mad dancing skills and the genius of Shane Sparks. (Side note: Travis should have won Season 2, looking back. But in the end, he's turned out with a much more successful career so I don't know that he really missed out on all that much...)

Travis & Martha, Clap Back: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YJh4EEtiGkM   -->I present to you the advent of krumping on SYTYCD, featuring for the very first time the one and only Lil' C.

Season 2 Top 16, Poison: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NZPh27qPg40   -->This number goes to show you that a simple group dance that is well-choreographed to AWESOME music can take you very far. Also, IVAN and TRAVIS.

          

Allyson & Ivan, Sexy Love   -->Ivan wins all the things. As does Shane Sparks.

Twitch & Alex, Outta Your Mind   -->The only non-Season 2 hip hop number to make this list, this piece is made more amazing by the fact that Alex is a classically trained ballet dancer. 

Miscellaneous AWESOME:

Danny & Lacey, Hip Hip Chin Chin   -->Wasn't a big fan of Lacey (Benji's sister) or Danny, despite their mad talent, but HOLY MOLY are they talented. Samba is HARD, y'all.

Billy & Robert, Ganesh   -->BOLLYWOOD.

"It Might Be a Quarter-Life Crisis...

...or just a stirring in my soul." - John Mayer

Happy July, everybody! It's a gorgeous 70-degree day here in Indiana, and I would apologize to those of you who are dealing with hotter heat on this July day, but I feel like living through 23 summers of 100+ degree weather entitles me to a little smugness on a gorgeous day like this. :)

I find myself in a reflective mood today, and for a multitude of reasons. It's now July, and summer, for all intents and purposes, is winding down. The new fiscal year has started (holla back, all my fellow budget managers!), our office is wrapping up a search for a new colleague (I can't believe it's been almost a year since I was experiencing such a search myself!), and our students return from their holidays and travels in about a month and a half.

This, my first summer on the job, has proved to be a wonderfully restorative one. My supervisor, student leaders, and I have taken time to take stock, discuss goals for the coming year, and really enjoy the 9-5 grind of this office (as opposed to our late-night grind during the school year). In addition, I have travels up ahead to take time off from work: in about 27 hours I'll be flying out to Portland, Oregon, to see some of my best friends and to celebrate my birthday (see below for more on that), and then in a few weeks I'm making an extended trip down to my homeland - the great state of Texas - to celebrate some dear friends getting married. Summer travels are my favorite, and I can't wait to put this summer's trips on the books.

Another reason I find myself reflective at this point in the summer, as I alluded to above, is that it's almost my birthday! (In lieu of presents, dear friends, just come visit me in Bloomington. ;) ) I will be 25 years old this year (if you couldn't guess from my brilliant lyrical title), and the whole idea of a "quarter-life crisis" really has me thinking about where I am right now. This Buzzfeed article has been making the rounds among my peers on Facebook, and according to its purpose, it got me thinking about if I'm in the middle of my "quarter-life crisis."

And I can honestly say...I'm not. (yet, anyway. I'm still kickin' it at 24! :) )

But seriously, all the anxiety and questions that psychologists say come along at this point in my life - who am I, why am I here, what am I doing, and so on - happened at this exact point LAST YEAR. Ya know, that whole job search thing really got me pondering the deep questions of life. Was it a good idea to go to grad school? Is higher education the right field for me? Was it smart to pick up and move halfway across the country?  Will I EVER be able to manage my own budget? (The jury's still out on that one, folks...) Will I be FOREVER ALONE?

A year later, I still don't know all the answers, but I know that I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be. I've got faith that God is using me to His (and my) best purpose where I am right now. I've got some of the best friends and family that a girl could ever ask for, and those numbers are growing day by day and week by week. I really, really do like my job a whole, whole lot; even on the days when it seems like things are going to hell in a handbasket (and they happen MUCH more often than I'd like), I know that my students and I are learning invaluable things that are going to help us later on in life. I'm constantly learning, growing, and developing, and more than anything, I'm THANKFUL.

I'm thankful for almost 25 pretty solid years on this earth, and I can't wait for 75 more. (Ya know, one has to assume that "quarter-life" refers to the fact that I'm going to live to be 100... I'll take it.)

So I wish everyone a HAPPY FOURTH OF JULY, and a FABULOUS mid-summer week. May all of you find joy in your days!

And Then There Was Softball

I've written about summertime often before on this blog, because it's my favorite time of year, associated with my best memories. These include, but are not limited to:
- my birthday and the "lower middle-class pool parties" my parents would throw when I was little (a.k.a. a slip-n-slide, two or three two-foot-deep kiddie pools, and a hose)
- celebrating one of the greatest holidays, July 4th, as well as growing up believing that the 4th of July fireworks were in honor of my birthday (which I know for a fact my older brother, whose birthday is in December, is still bitter about)
- trips to the greatest water park in the entire world, Schlitterbahn (the hottest, coolest time in Texas!)
- trips out of the sweltering West Texas heat to Ruidoso, New Mexico, with good family friends
- from my time at Texas A&M, summer meant two words: Fish Camp
- perennially good summer things such as baseball, BBQ, cookouts, beaches, swimming pools, floating the river, "The Sandlot," "Heavyweights," "Dazed and Confused," lightning bugs, thunderstorms, watermelon, ice cold Shiner Bock, Blue Bell ice cream, et cetera

As you can tell, summer is associated with lots of good past times and pastimes for me. And now that I'm on my own in the wide world, it's time for me to make some good memories of the present. Many good times are definitely nigh - this summer's plans include a trip to Portland, OR; a roadtrip to Texas and two good friends' weddings, and a family vacation/wedding in Puerto Rico. And aside from vacations, I've got some great things rolling here in Bloomington, including working on summer projects with fellow staff and our students, cleaning out my Netflix queue, and... softball.

Now, for those of you who know me well, that last word may seem a little... incongruous with your image of me. And you would not be incorrect. Team sports have never been a "thing" that I do. Ever. In fact, I made it from sixth grade through senior year of high school without taking an organized physical education class (still a point of pride for me, although my mother would tend to disagree with you as my lack of P.E. credits almost prevented me from graduating). One time, when I was in fifth grade, my brother tried to teach me to play tennis, and five minutes in I hit him in the face with the tennis racket (accidentally, I promise!). Let's let my history with organized sports boil down to this little gem - a few years ago, I asked my dear father why he and my mom never put me in tee-ball or soccer when I was a little kid; why I grew up taking dance as opposed to being able to catch and throw a ball and have some semblance of "normal" athleticism. His answer: "Well, Cassidy, when you were a baby, we put a ball in front of you, and a dolly. You went for the dolly, so we pretty much just went with it." Thanks, Dad. Thanks a lot.

Now, all of this isn't to say that I'm a nightmare at athletic things; I can (occasionally) catch a football, baseball, and/or softball and have been known to throw with some accuracy (thanks to my brother for the front yard catch sessions!). I can (occasionally) make a basket playing basketball, and can play decent defense (again, thanks to my brother for the driveway guarding lessons). Soccer isn't really a strong point; hand-eye coordination is hard enough so you can kiss feet-eye coordination goodbye. I knew from a young age I'd never be an Olympian, but I'm not completely hopeless at sports in general, and base/softball in particular, thanks (as always) to my brother's sports career/obsession/tutelage. Even so, it should be a surprise to everyone that a) I was approached to be on a summer co-rec softball team (God bless my coworker Megan for having such faith in me), and b) that I agreed to play.

And, in the end, I'm kind of enjoying myself. I'm playing the best position for me: left field. (The league we're in asks the men on the team to bat with their weak hand, so almost all of the batters have to be lefties, which means right field sees a LOT more action than I do... which I have zero problem with.) I'm getting to meet some great other young professionals here in Bloomington (although, in a hilarious twist of fate, I am the youngest person on the team). Our team even had our first win this past Sunday, a sweet, sweet victory that I tried my hardest to contribute to (unfortunately my stats were not quite up to par; I had one really solid hit in the three times I was up to bat, but it went right to the shortstop). I'll grant you, it's sometimes a little hard to muster up the enthusiasm to go out and do something that I'm not really good at, which I'm sure everyone can sympathize with - why play a game where your skills are mediocre (on a good day) when you can stay home and watch "Buffy the Vampire Slayer"? (which I'm really very good at). But, in the end, I'll admit it - I'm having a lot of fun. And there have been a couple of really beautiful moments - where I make a good catch, or actually throw the ball the distance it needs to go, or make good contact with the ball when I bat, or can make a REALLY awesome "Rookie of the Year" reference in play - that have made some of the less Hall-of-Fame/more bonehead moments worth it.

Overall, I think we have to face facts: in my mid-20s, we're not going to be able to make me into the next Jennie Finch. But if, by the end of the season, I'm able to be a pivotal part of at least one play, and I'm walking away with some good friends, I'll be satisfied. (Our team coaches may have something else to say about those outcomes; I blame their competitiveness on those darned team sports.)

Supposedly, next up for our team is a bowling league for the winter. I managed to bag a passing grade in my bowling-by-correspondence course I took in high school (I really, truly am not joking), so we'll see how this goes. In the meantime, if you happen to find yourself in Bloomington, come cheer for our softball team. We're the ones in the awesome baby-blue jerseys who, hopefully by our next game, have the most awesome walk-out songs on the field (DJ'd, of course, by yours truly - that I can do).

The Best Advice I Ever Received: Cover Letter Edition

Writing twice in a week? (almost) Unprecedented! But, per my commitment to do some personal reflection and some professional development, I come to you now with a topic fresh on my mind: the oft-dreaded cover letter.

(cue dramatic music. and yes, that link goes to exactly where you think it goes to.)

As you may remember, about a year and half ago I wrote one of the most dramatic and, in retrospect, silliest blog posts about how much I hate writing cover letters. But it was true then, and if I were applying for jobs now, it would probably still be true - I really, really don't like writing cover letters. Honestly, the first one is the hardest; by the time I was applying for my umpteenth jobs in May, June, and July, I had my structure and writing process down pat. But those first few were rough, in more ways than one: not only was it difficult to write the letters, but the content was definitely a rough draft.

Thankfully, I had the advice and oversight of wonderful friends, colleagues, and mentors, who gave me great feedback and helped me craft my perfect cover letter. And because I know there are quite a few recent grads out there who are still job searching (which is TOTALLY OKAY, you are NOT ALONE, you will NOT BE UNEMPLOYED, JUST BREATHE!!!), I wanted to pass along some of the best cover letter-writing advice that I got from my colleagues on to you.

It's never too late, my friends, to jazz up your cover letter and really make it sing. (I don't know where those music metaphors came from, but there you go). For me, making my cover letter really shine came down to a few top tips:

1) Make the cover letter sound like you wrote it. Thanks to my dear friend Amma (her blog is linked here, READ IT for reals) for this piece of advice and for a few others on this list... your cover letter needs to sounds like YOU. It is quite possibly the first impression an employer will get of who you are, and so it needs to sound like you! Now, I'm not saying you should go full-on informal prose for this tip ("Yo, whaddup search committee?" is probably a big no-no), but there should definitely be elements of YOU in your cover letter (as opposed to your letter sounding like you ripped it off of a "how to write a cover letter" website or Word template). This may take some tweaking, but eventually you can strike a good balance of professional and personally reflective.
My example: my cover letter always started with a "Hello!" It was friendly, open, and reflects me and my personality.

2) Don't be apologetic for your mad skills. This GORGEOUS piece of advice came down from my awesome theory prof (shoutout to you, Brad Cox) through my friend, colleague, and mentor Mackenzie (mad props for her counsel and advice always). I'm gonna get real here: one of the hardest parts of the job search is seemingly bragging about yourself, or, in more normal terms, "self-promotion." It's something I'm not super comfortable with or something I'm very good at (Amma wrote a great blog post about it earlier this year).  But it's a reality of the job search - you need to try to represent how AMAZING a candidate you are. With that, one of the easiest traps to fall into as you're writing a cover letter are the following phrases (see if you recognize any in your cover letter):
"I have had the opportunity to..."
"I am privileged to..."
"I have the chance to..."
Sound familiar? Here's the truth that Brad and Mackenzie passed on to me: while it may seem in your head that you're being honest (let's get real, some days it's a real privilege and honor to do what we do in student affairs), on paper, it seems like you're apologizing for the skills, experiences, and jobs that you've had and accomplished. As Brad put it, "No. You didn't 'have the chance' to do this, you DID IT. You didn't 'have the opportunity' to do this, YOU DID IT."
When you think about it, that makes sense, huh?
And let's be real in another aspect - writing cover letters can be hard because you can't waste or mince words. So don't waste any words apologizing or downplaying your skills and experience, OWN THEM. You DID plan that event. You DID advise those students. It doesn't sound arrogant, it sounds confident and that you have taken ownership of your abilities!

Last but not least...
3) Tell the employer why you're interested in their position. This is another gem passed on to me through Amma, and I can't tell you how meaningful this piece of advice is. Again, I know that you don't want to mince or waste words in your cover letter. But here's the deal - if you spend the whole cover letter talking about why you're qualified for a position, and never touch on WHY you want that position or WHY you want to work at that institution or in that office, it stops being confident and starts reading like you send the same cover letter to every single employer.
And listen, it's FINE if you use the same basic words and structure for your cover letters; I certainly did! But there should be some unique piece in each of your cover letters that addresses one particular institution alone, and tells them why you're even interested in the position.
I promise you, adding this piece to your cover letter, especially as an entry-level professional, can set you MILES above other candidates. The job search is a two-way recruitment process; not only are you trying to sell yourself to your potential employer, but the employer is also trying to get you interested in working at their institution! So if you don't indicate that there's at least a modicum of interest in an institution or office - it could be in their mission statement, in a specific program or model of operation that they have, in their student population or departmental philosophy, whatever - the employer will wonder why you even want the job in the first place! (And I know that there's more to it than just being employed :). )

So there you have it. Those are the 3 best pieces of advice that I received about cover letter writing for student affairs positions.

Have you received any stellar advice? What would you pass on to new generations of student affairs professionals?

Summer Projects (Sunshine Included)

Long time, no blog! But now it's summer, and the excuses have hit the rearview just like the academic year has. I can't believe that I've already been working at IU for almost 10 months (it'll be a year in August), and that I've made it through one academic year... time has absolutely flown by. Look for a post forthcoming about the things I learned in Year One; for now, I want to talk about summer.

What a beautiful word summer is, especially when you think about all the things it encompasses... sunshine, beaches, rest, play, green grass, blue swimming pools, star-filled nights. I could go on forever - summer is a special time. Of course, now that I'm a full-time professional, I've had to grasp a brand new reality: summer is for work, too.

If you had asked me a year ago, I would have said that I'd be disappointed about not having the summer "off," like my twenty years of schooling prior, but that I realized that it's part of the reality of being a full-time professional. Now that I'm in that reality, though, I have to say - a summer of work can be just as beautiful a thing as a summer off. Because, here's the truth that I've learned: it's hard, VERY hard, to get long-term projects done during the school year. One of my profession's truisms that I've faced as a newbie, and come to realize is accurate, is that my job really is ALL about my students. I mean that in the best way possible; I wouldn't have a job without them! But with that truth, all of my priorities when my students are around focus on those students. I love having an open-door policy; I love that my students trust me enough to come talk to me about work and about their personal issues. The truth of the matter is, though, that it's hard for me to focus on long-term projects during the school year because of the day-to-day, crisis-managing, firefighting role of advising college students.

But now, my friends, it's summer. Granted, some of my students are still around, working on programming for the summer. For the most part, however, it's SILENT in our office. And while I love my students, I am so very, very appreciative of the time to focus. Even though I'm a millennial, I've never really identified or felt comfortable with one of the generational qualities ascribed to us - multitasking. I hate multitasking; I feel like I'm not able to do justice to the work that's assigned to me when I'm forced to juggle it with other tasks. Of course, another reality of the professional world that I faced this year is that my day-to-day is ALL ABOUT MULTITASKING! So now that it's summer, and I'm able to focus on one thing at a time, my brain is a LOT happier.

In short, so far, summer has been treating me beautifully. I have time to truly focus on short- and long-term projects that escaped my notice (or had to be swept under the rug) during the school year. Here's a list, not even close to all-encompassing, but broken down of the things that I'll be working on this summer (work-related and otherwise):

1. Annual Reports - how has our office done with engaging the students? How has the Union Board done with reaching out to its constituents? Are we on target with our mission statement? Can we be proud of the things we've accomplished over the past academic year?
2. Staff and Grad Assistant Training - We just hired a new GA, and will be hiring a new professional in our office. Now is the perfect time to focus on training; what can and should our new professionals and paraprofessionals be getting out of time in our office? How can I as a professional support my colleagues' journeys? How can I make sure that I work to explain and help my colleagues understand the culture of my institution and office even better than I do?
3. Planning for the Year Ahead - Summer is the perfect time to take a look around and see where we are and how we can improve. I want to try to be intentional about thinking about the year ahead; now that I know what the school year looks like, what can I do now to ease my path later on?
4. Reflection Time - Now that I've been in my role for a year (almost), I really want to take stock of where I've been and where I'm going. I want to set goals for the coming year, and to really think about my professional development. This project includes blogging more - I've missed the catharsis and the engagement that this medium brings, and I really want to make an effort to be processing this way more (and engaging with my fellow professionals via their blogs). Which leads to...
5. Professional Development - How can I seek out new opportunities to grow and learn? I've already been blessed with one opportunity coming up this summer, ACUI's IPDS New Professionals Orientation. I'm so excited to get to spend a week with fellow new professionals! (nerd alert.) I also want to tackle some reading this summer; I FINALLY got a library card and want to put it to good use, for both leisure and developmental reading. Which leads to my final point...
6. Leisure Time - I have some beautiful vacations coming up in July; I'm playing on a co-rec softball team; I recently bought my very own bicycle. I want to be very purposeful about relaxing into this less stressful summer schedule, and really enjoying my "time off" (as close to time off as I'll get :))

Here's to you, summer 2013 - let's make it a good one!

It's Not About [So]Me

Lately, there's been a particular topic on my mind; one that, as a practicing Christian and specifically as a Catholic, is very close to my heart: the church season of Lent.

For those of you who might be unfamiliar or a little rusty, Lent is the season immediately preceding Easter, when Christians celebrate the resurrection of Jesus. Lent starts on Ash Wednesday (the day after Mardi Gras for you Louisiana natives), and spans 40 days. The Catholic church especially intends Lent to be a time of solemn reflection, leading up to a holiday full of rejoicing. Christians are familiar with stories from the Gospels, describing Jesus' temptation in the desert, and how he stayed strong in the midst of the world's temptations through prayer and fasting. Keeping in mind the constant goal of being followers of Christ (that is what "Christian" means, after all!), the church (again, the Catholic church especially) encourages all its members to spend the season of Lent like Jesus did--engaging in prayer, penance, and fasting; working on our spiritual discipline; and constantly strengthening our faith through any and all means.

So as you can imagine, there's a spirit of sacrifice and self-denial surrounding the season of Lent. Lent, for Christians, is all about remembering that life is hard, but in the end, the reward is incomparable. Lent is all about denying the self, and focusing more on "things above" than things here below.

I bet at this point you've figured out where this is leading--I'm going to share with you what I decided to give up for Lent. Some of you who read this blog may already know, but here it is: I decided, for the 40 days of Lent, I will not take part in my usual/daily social media outlets (specifically Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and Tumblr).
**Note: Yes, I realize the irony of sharing these reflections via blogging, a medium that many consider to be social media, but please humor the method to my madness :)**

Those of you who read this blog regularly, most of whom know me pretty well, will know that this is quite a sacrifice (which, of course, is the point--giving up something for Lent is not supposed to be easy). I use Facebook to keep in touch with my high school, college, and grad school friends who live across the country from me. I use Twitter for multitudinous reasons, chief among them a) engaging in professional development with other student affairs professionals across the country, b) live-Tweeting movies, and c) talking about Beyonce. I use Tumblr to keep on top of my pop culture consumption; without it I would not have known so early that Disney is putting a Boy Meets World sequel sitcom, featuring much of the original cast, into production (if you didn't already know this, REJOICE WITH ME). And I use Instagram... well, I'm not really sure how I use Instagram yet. There's not really a streamlined purpose for it for me. I do enjoy looking at pictures of my friends' meals, though, so that's something.

TL; DR: I am almost CONSTANTLY engaging on social media. I have apps on my phone; as soon as I wake up in the morning I'm checking Instagram photos and seeing funny tweets that popped up the night before. When I have a moment at work, I'm scanning Tumblr for the latest updates or taking a few moments out of my day to tweet encouraging messages to friends and students. I check Facebook daily to make sure that I haven't missed any friends' birthdays and to post funny Buzzfeed articles on buddies' walls. From the moment I open my eyes in the morning to the moment I close them at night, I am plugged in and connected to my many networks.

So I did some reflecting right before Ash Wednesday this year, about what to give up for Lent. And I realized something very important: while the amazing networks are, after all, the POINT of social media, all of my social media outlets are doing something for me that I did not intend: they are distracting me. I am constantly drawn to pull up Facebook (assuming, in a very silly way, that I will have some notification that wasn't there 30 seconds ago); I am constantly drawn to send a new tweet or to see what new celebrity-based topic might be trending. Instead of focusing on the task at hand, I allow myself through social media to be distracted. And it's not only at work (although work is primarily where distraction is a BIG problem)--in the mornings, when I wake up, my time could be better spent getting ready for the day, rather than spending 15 minutes checking all my social media apps. Instead of reading Twitter as I eat breakfast, I could be spending some quiet time reading my Bible and doing a devotional, mentally fortifying myself for the day ahead. Instead of spending hours perusing Tumblr after I get home from work, I could be reading a book or cozying up on my couch to watch a movie. Instead of trying to capture the perfect moment to share with friends on Instagram, I could be experiencing the moment.

Lent, ultimately, is about removing the distractions of this world and the temptation to gratify the self. To use church phraseology, it's about "dying to the self" (denying the temptation of constant self-centeredness and selfishness) and being reborn in the faith, with daily motivation found from and intended focus on "things above": God, and what He is doing daily in this world and in my life. So this Lent, that's what I want to do--focus more on things above, rather than things here below.

And hopefully, this focus on higher things--on what God is doing daily in my life, about how I can serve Him better--will lead to a better life here on earth, one that is less centered on me and more centered on others. Serving and loving others is one of the highest pursuits in this life, and I want to give my all to that end.

So, adios, Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, and Tumblr. We'll talk again in about 40 days... or maybe not. This no-distractions thing is pretty awesome, once you get used to it. 

Looking Back at 2012

Happy New Year, everyone!

It's 2013, a brand new year, and a chance to reflect on the past 365 days. As I get older, it feels like the years go by faster and faster. It seems like just yesterday that I was celebrating the advent of 2012 with some of my very best friends in my hometown of San Angelo, drinking champagne and speculating on the year to come. Here I am now in my new home city, Bloomington, in my new apartment, gazing out my windows at the snow-covered ground (yes, that's right, I live in a place where it SNOWS).

2012 was filled with change, as I expected it would be. I began my job search in January, determined to find a perfect fit for me. In April, I graduated from The Florida State University with my master's degree. In May, my parents announced that my Dad had gotten a new job in North Carolina, and they would be leaving my hometown for good. In July, I was lucky enough to find my perfect fit at Indiana University, and was offered a job. I packed up my life in Tallahassee, and drove cross-country to settle in my new home. Fall of 2012 has been spent adjusting--settling into my new place; learning the ropes at IU; getting to know my new friends, colleagues, and students. Friends and family members have gotten married and had kids; I've lost a beloved grandparent. Life has ebbed and flowed; the days have moved on.

All the while, I lived with my chosen #oneword of 2012: believe. I KNEW this time a year ago that 2012 would be one of the most challenging and life-altering years of my life so far, and so I chose a word that resonated with me to my very core. I had to daily choose to believe that everything that happens, good or bad, is for a reason, and that God's plan for my life would be fulfilled in the perfect time.

One of my StrengthsQuest strengths reflects this very word: Connectedness. According to Gallup, Connectedness means that I believe that "things happen for a reason," and that my "faith sustains me...in the face of life's mysteries." Gallup, again you've described me to a "t," and it's that belief that all things are connected that helped me make it through this year. Through life's ups and downs, I believed that I was doing my best and that everything would turn out alright.

And here I am, reflecting on this past year. I survived 2012; I could probably say that I thrived in 2012. I know I've grown and learned in the past 365 days; I hope that the people in my life can see that growth and change (and that it's for the better!). I have come into a new year a little older, a little wiser (I think), and, hopefully, a little more prepared to take on life's daily challenges.

So here's to you, 2012. You certainly didn't disappoint.

Happy new year to all of you, dear friends! I hope you survived and thrived in 2012, and I hope your 2013 starts out EXACTLY the way you need it to.