Friday, June 24, 2016

The Only Constant

Summer makes me reflective, probably because of the summer birthday thing (11 days), and probably because a predominance of my life has revolved around the academic year (24 of 27 birthdays celebrated going into a school year, so far).

Summer always feels like this weird transition period - a reset, a pause, but also a time during which major changes are happening, usually under the surface, but there.

When I think about summers past, I think of travel. Best friends. Family. Break-ups and getting together. Flirtations and heartbreaks. Working harder than I've ever worked before, and resting and relaxing. Beaches, rivers, deserts, and mountains. Reflection on the past, and plans for the future.

I have a lot more figured out at almost-28 than I did last year, or any year before that; and yet, it often feels like I have less figured out than I ever have before. The way I make plans has inherently changed - I think of the future more like pinpoints on a globe, rather than a road on a map. My travel may not be straightforward, but it will be moving forward.

The mistakes I will make are inevitable, but so is the learning that will happen. The friendships that come and go, the relationships that grow and then dissipate will break me up, but they will also make me stronger. The knowledge I have and confidence I am building may be shaken, but each tremor only strengthens the woman that I am and am becoming. The love in my life will only exponentially grow.

I'm thankful for the almost-28 years I've lived. I'm thankful for the change, the difficulty, the world-shaking and heart-breaking experiences. I wouldn't wish them on my worst enemy, but I know they are integral pages in my story.

A good story mirrors life, and as I've learned, the only constant in life is change.

Change may hurt. It may break us before it makes us. But change = growth. Stasis = death.

In my 28th year of life, I want to embrace change, even when it hurts. I want to grow through the pain, learn through the hard times. I want to come out on the other side a better human. I want my story to be one of a woman who, through all the change, constantly loved.

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