I have a tradition of choosing OneWord Resolutions: see 2012 (Believe), 2013 (Center), 2014 (Simplicity), 2015 (Gratitude), and 2016 (Well). My hope with my 2017 word was to make a commitment to myself, to the important people in my life, and to the important things in life. Even with the trials 2017 brought, I ended the year feeling as though I had done almost all of that... except the commitment to self part.
Sure, I continued practicing gratitude; sure, I made time for some amazing adventures; sure, I even ran two half-marathons. But mentally? Emotionally? It was a struggle. Honestly, the best commitment I made to myself in 2017 was getting a counselor here in Charlotte. (PAUSING HERE: I cannot more highly recommend that everyone have someone to talk to, be it a counselor or a therapist or pastor or WHATEVER YOU NEED to get your stuff off your chest. And be honest - you have stuff. We all do. And your spouse/partner/best friend/parent, although certainly capable of unconditional love for you, IS NOT your therapist.)
So when I thought about what I needed in 2018, what I felt was lacking in my life AND what I thought I needed to shed... I kept coming back to the idea of sufficiency, of enough-ness.
All my live, I've striven for success; I am ambitious by nature (and proud to be so). I have accomplished many things that I can be proud of. And yet, I am my harshest critic. I speak to myself like I would speak to NO ONE ELSE in my life; I am the WORST at giving myself grace.
And yet, I've realized - if I'm not kind to myself, who else will be? I must first and foremost accept and love myself for who and what I am. If I want to be a role model for others who I love so much, I MUST practice loving myself first.
In the words of my (pretend-but-wish-she-was-actually-my) best friend, Amy Poehler,
"When the demon starts to slither my way and say bad sh*t about me I turn around and say, 'Hey. Cool it. Amy is my friend. Don't talk about her like that.' Sticking up for ourselves in the same way we would one of our friends is a hard but satisfying thing to do. Sometimes it works."I wanted to be honest and real - this is the real reasoning behind my #OneWord2018: enough. This year, I want to teach myself how to know that I am already enough.
enough - adj.
- occurring in such quantity, quality, or scope as to fully meet demands, needs, or expectations
- as much or as many as required
What does enough look like for me?
- Practicing my faith to remember that God is enough; His grace is enough; His provisions are just the right amount for each day
- "But when [the Israelites] measured [the manna] out, everyone had just enough. Those who gathered a lot had nothing left over, and those who gathered only a little had enough. Each family had just what it needed." - Exodus 16:18
- "Each time [Christ] said, 'My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.'" - 2 Corinthians 12:9
- Being kinder to myself - speaking lovingly, accepting grace, and learning from my mistakes
- Resetting my approach to food and eating - coming at nourishing my body from a healthy, self-loving standpoint
- Actually USING my vacation and sick time
- Finding an exercise routine that works for my schedule AND my brain
- Continuing counseling to talk out my stuff
- Resetting my approach to spending money and budgeting, to come from a place of plenty as opposed to a place of lack
- Spending time with family, friends, and loved ones
Even if your new year's resolutions differ, I invite you to join me in this journey toward enough.
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